In A Time That Once Was
by WaffleMafia
Summary: In this story, we enter the Marauder's 5th Year. Just as the group try and rebuild their broken ties with Sirius after what happened, new relations spark and some old ones fade throughout the year. The Marauders will never be the same.
1. What's Worse Than A Boy Who Hates You

_**Warning- The following story may or may not contain explicit slash between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Consider yourself warned...**_

_**Disclaimer- None of the characters you are about to read of belong to me. I am only using them for my sick and twisted enjoyment... And yours. Pervert.**_

"_The only thing worse than a boy who hates you, is a boy who loves you."_

_Taken from the novel 'The Book Thief' by Mark Zusak._

Remus sat atop the roof of the Shrieking Shack, his transformation was the night before, and he had woken up fairly early. The sun was just peaking over the mountains, the light cascaded across the lake and warmed the pale boy's skin as the sun rose. Remus was tired, that was true, but he loved watching the sunrise... It meant the moon wouldn't be out until many hours later, and that was time he had for himself and didn't have to share with the beast within him.

His skin warmed as the sun rose... Aside from his normal love for the sunrise, today's sunrise was particularly grand. Sometime last night Sirius had let Snape know about him being a werewolf, and the poor lad didn't believe Sirius so he came to find out for himself. What Snape found was horrible, he saw Remus as he transformed... He saw the whole thing, bones broke and screams tore from Remus' throat as he changed from the quiet and humble man he was into a murderous and ferocious beast.

As the tawny haired boy relived the night, he realized how much he hated Sirius at that moment for what he did. Remus could have become a murderer and sent to Azkaban forever, and it wouldn't have even been his fault... Thank Merlin James had been there early, or Snape would have surely died. James practically threw himself in front of Snape just before Remus was about to pounce, luckily all Snape suffered was a scratch to his face and a few bruises. Dumbledore apparently talked to Snape about keeping the whole Remus-is-a-werewolf thing on the down low, and-thank Merlin-Snape obliged.

Remus felt his face heat up as anger rose inside him. How could Sirius, his friend since the first day of their first year, betray him like this? Of course, Remus would forgive Sirius... He had friends who accepted him, and once he shunned Padfoot both James and Peter would leave too and that would leave him back in square one. Remus had no choice but to forgive Sirius, even if he forgave the boy he didn't have to necessarily be nice to him. Remus looked down at his legs, his pants were frayed at the leg holes from all the use, but they were his most comfortable... These were the ones he normally wore after transformations. Oh, his transformations, he did not want to think of those right now. He had just gotten over the last one and he had a month to mope about the pain and suffering he endured.

"R-Remus?" A whispered voice called from the door going from the roof into the attic.

"What do you want, Sirius?" Remus' response was cold, Sirius felt the tinge of hate within it.

"I-I want to talk to you. Please, Remus?" Sirius said, his voice was weak and very pathetic.

"Fine." Remus said, he scooted over on the roof so Sirius had room to sit. "But make it quick."  
"Okay..." Sirius said as he sat next to the boy. "I'm sorry, Remus. I'm so so sorry... I never should have done that to you, I never should have said anything to Snape. I was just trying to screw with him, you know? I never meant to hurt you, I should have known how this would have hurt you. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Sirius was crying now, he sobbed through his words as the fat tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Okay." Remus said. He wasn't really forgiving Sirius, he acknowledged his apology.

"Please, Remus, please forgive me. I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry." Sirius looked right into Remus' eyes, his deep gray ones racked with sorrow and fear. "I love you, Moony, you're my best mate. Please... Please forgive me." Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus' rigid body, the dark haired boy's body shook as he sobbed.

"Okay." Remus said, his voice far softer. "I forgive you..." Remus said, his voice barely a whisper as tears started to roll down his cheeks.

"Moony..." Sirius said. "I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry. You have to believe me, I'm so sorry. I never want to lose you, I love you mate."

"I-I know, Sirius. I forgive you..." Remus said, he leaned into Sirius' embrace, the tears rolled down his face and he could feel them drop off at his chin. "Ju-just don't hurt me like that anymore, Sirius." Remus said.

"Never again, never again. I'll never hurt you again, never." Sirius said, his face burrowed into Remus' neck as he sobbed and whispered his apologies. Sirius clutched Remus' shirt as he cried, his entire body shook and his breathing was ragged.

The pair stayed that way, Sirius whispering about how sorry he was and Remus holding the poor boy and telling him it was okay and that he was okay. Sirius looked up into Remus' eyes, his own eyes were bloodshot from all the crying, and he smiled weakly. His expression was one of a pathetic puppy that had never been loved.  
"I love you Moony, I love you. I love you and I'm so sorry." Sirius said before sitting up and pulling off of Remus and looking directly into his amber eyes.

"I love you too, and I forgive you." Remus nodded. His body was cooler now, the heat shared between the boys left as Sirius' body did.

Sirius just sighed and looked down at his lap. His gaze shifted back up to Remus' face and- as if in slow motion- and he leaned in and placed a light kiss on the pale boy's lips. Sirius' eyes were closed and his face stayed close to Remus' even after the kiss. Remus stopped breathing, his mind tried to place what had just happened, and nothing was making sense.

Sirius had just kissed him on the lips. Though every muscle and joint in his body ached, waves of an odd floaty feeling washed over him. The feelings were almost pleasurable, in an odd way.

"I-I'm sorry..." Sirius stuttered.

"I-Uh." Remus had no response. He was utterly and completely speechless.

"I-I'm going... I'm going to jus-just go." Sirius' face was beet red and his eyes as wide as plates. He was obviously scared, but of what. Remus was a werewolf, anything that anyone ever admitted was nothing compared to that.

_**Author's Note:**_

_**I am the biggest loser ever. **_

_**I'm sorry I got rid of the story, but I just couldn't do it. This is the beginning that I originally wanted by my dumb ass decided that it would be better to just not do the awkward kissing scene. Seeing as how I wasn't prepared for that scene not to happen, I was just typing randomly and hoping it went somewhere. I'm sorry I haven't been updating and that I deleted the story, please forgive me. It was for the benefit of the story, and not because I'm just a lazy arse.**_


	2. Best Friends

_**Warning- The following story may or may not contain explicit slash between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Consider yourself warned...**_

_**Disclaimer- None of the characters you are about to read of belong to me. I am only using them for my sick and twisted enjoyment... And yours. Pervert.**_

"_Best friends means I pull the trigger, best friends means you get what you deserve."_

_Taken from the song "There's no 'I' in Team" by Taking Back Sunday._

Remus sat in his bed, the drapes still pulled shut, through it was well after ten in the morning. Though, it was a weekend, so there were no classes to worry of and he wasn't feeling all that hungry anyway... He just lay, still under the warm covers, and just thinking about things.

The group was fighting, and it was an ugly battle of the wills. Sirius had apologized, but James was not giving in, and in turn Sirius was not about to beg just yet. Peter stayed out of it generally, and whatever James did he just followed along with anyhow. The Marauders were in jeopardy of breaking off, which Remus could not handle. He had told these people his most deep and dark secret, and he knew that he could never do it again.

"Remus?" Came a whispered voice.

"Mm?" Remus responded, trying to sound sleepy though he had been just laying awake for hours.

"Are you okay?" James opened the curtains around his bed and light streamed through. Perhaps it was more like twelve in the afternoon.

"Oh, uh yeah. I'm fine. I'm just tired, James." Remus did his best to smile even though it was a massive effort.

"No, you're not, Remus. I know something is wrong. I mean, look at what's happened, I wouldn't blame you if you were depressed or mad or anything." James sat on the edge of the bed.

"I know, James, I know." Remus' gaze dropped to behind James. It was sunny and nice out, and there were birds fluttering about.

"You can talk to me, Remus." James moved to block Remus' gaze, and the tawny haired boy looked up into James' eyes.

"I know, James, I know." Remus repeated. "I know..."

James just looked at him, possibly waiting for something more. Perhaps he was waiting for the boy to spill his guts, but he wouldn't and not because he didn't want to but because he couldn't. If he told James anything, he would just get into another row with Sirius, and that is exactly what Remus didn't want. He wanted all of his friends to be friends again- for his sake at least.

"What can I do for you, Moony?" James' voice was soft and cooing.  
"Not fight anymore." He was being honest, and according to many muggle sayings it's the best policy.

"I can't forgive him, Remus. He hurt you, he could have killed Sniv- I mean Snape. If I hadn't showed up at the right second, he would have been dead and you would have been considered a murderer."

"I know, James, I know." Remus just kept repeating this. It was the perfect answer. He knew this, he knew, but he really didn't know what to do about it or what to think.

"I just- I can't forgive him. Well, not yet at least. Did he even apologize to you?" There was a pause, James' words hung in the air. Sirius had apologized to Remus, and it was more with tears and kisses than words.

"He did..." Remus said shyly. Sirius had apologized- it just made things worse and far more confusing.

"And...?" James pushed on.

"And I forgave him." Remus let it at that. Nothing more, and nothing less.

"You just forgave him? Just like that?"

"He was crying, James. He was crying and he couldn't even talk straight, let alone form a complete apologetic thought. He was crying about how sorry he was and that he loved me and that he'd never want to lose me. He was truly and completely sorry." Remus retorted.

"So because he cried, told you he loved you and that he was really really sorry you just gave him what he was begging for." James' skepticism ran into his tone.

"Yes." Remus was becoming irritated now. It was his choice to forgive Sirius, not James'. "What did he say to you?"  
"He said that he was sorry, and that he apologized to you too. He seemed sorry, but it was just too soon. I don't know when I'll be able to get over this, Remus. I'm sorry." James shrugged. Remus just closed his eyes and sighed.

"I know, James, I know." Remus started. "I just want everyone to be friends again. If you get over this, then Peter will too. I'm already past this, and I just want it all to go back to normal. My entire life has been nothing but chaos, and I've never had friends... I just don't want people to fight anymore." Remus was sitting up in his bed now. His loose nightshirt hung off of his pale frame. His eyes had bags under them and there was an ever evident frown across his face.

"I know, it's just that he obviously isn't willing to reconcile with me, and I'm not with him."

"It's only because you didn't forgive him right away."

"Can you blame me? Can he?" James' eyebrows shot up.

"He obviously tried, James." Remus put his hand on James' knee. "And I know you want your brother back. Maybe you should just talk to him..."

"I know Moony, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for this- for all of this, it's such a mess, and I know you already have enough to deal with." James smiled at the pale boy.

"Thanks James." Remus half smiled. Though he had slept most of his day away, he was still very tired.

"Do you want anything from the kitchens or whatever?" James asked as he got up. "Toast maybe? Or some chocolate?" James was smiling, he saw Remus perk up at the mere mention of chocolate.

"Some chocolate would be nice, thanks mate." Remus smiled and threw the blankets off of his legs. He swung his legs off of the bed and slowly stretched before getting up. His boxers hung at his narrow hips just as the shirt hung on his shoulders.

Remus sluggishly made his way over to his chest that was filled with his clothing and other worldly possessions. He opened the lid, the old and somewhat rusty hinges creaked as the chest opened, and he peered inside. In neat stacks were his clothing, but right on top of a pile of shirts was a large and fancy looking chocolate bar with a not attached to the back.

_Remus,_

_I'm sorry about everything._

_I know this isn't much for an apology, but I hope you enjoy the treat anyway._

_-Padfoot_

He just stared down at the small note. Sirius was right, this was an awful way to apologize- but for Remus it was working. How could anyone expect him to resist such a delicious food? Aside from the fact that it was chocolate, it was also dark chocolate, and this made it all the better. Though Remus was still weary of Sirius, for both the original offense and the kiss, if gifts like these kept popping up then continuing to ignore the boy would prove to be much more difficult.

Remus shrugged and tore the rapper from the bar of chocolate, and bit into it. The chocolate was bitter sweet and melted in his mouth. He chewed slowly, taking in the taste of the chocolate.

"I'm back, Moony." James' voice came from the door.

"Thnnks Jms." Remus said- or tried to say. The melting chocolate was sticky enough to impair his speech.

"What?" James laughed.

"Sorry, I was eating chocolate. I said thanks." Remus smiled, chocolate still spread over his teeth.

"You sent me for chocolate and you can't even wait until I get back to have some? Honestly, Moony, you're going to become a great fatty one of these days." James joked and poked Remus in his belly where his future-gut would apparently be.

"Haha, funny, Prongs, very funny." Remus stuck his tongue out and continued to eat the dark chocolate from Sirius.

"Where did you get that anyway?" James asked.

"It was in my trunk..." Remus swallowed. "... It's from Sirius."

"Oh, I see." James sighed. He sounded irritated, both at Sirius for being a git and Remus for forgiving him.

"Now, James-" Remus started. They were close to a fight this morning, and a row with his friend is not what he needed.

"I don't even want to start with this." James sighed. "Let's just... Move on."

"Okay." Remus was being more than compliant. Things were tense enough so as it is.

"Okay." James parroted. "Want to go down to the common room, Moony?"  
"Yeah, just let me change quickly. I'll be down in a few minutes then." Remus nodded and James turned and left once more. The dorm was quiet and every move Remus made caused a sound to echo through the room.

Soon enough the pale boy was dressed and heading down the common room. He headed out the door but came face to face with Sirius. The black haired boy looked pale and his eyes looked dimmer than normal.

"Oh." Was all Sirius said before looking away from Remus' eyes and his gaze shifted to his shoulder.

"Hello Sirius." Remus said quietly.

"Hello."  
"Well, I was just going so, if you'll excuse me..." Remus tried to side step out of Sirius' way, but Sirius moved that way as well.

"Oh, sorry Moony." Sirius smiled weakly and went to move to the other side, but so did Remus and yet again they were both standing in the other's way.

"Remus?" A voice called-it was James.

"Hold on, I'll be down in a second." Remus called back.

"Merlin Moony, what's taking you so bloody long?" James' footsteps could be heard coming up the spiral stair case.

"Nothing, I'll be down in a second James." Remus moved past Sirius finally and tried to get James back down the stairs before he saw Sirius or Sirius saw him.

"Sirius?" James looked past Remus.

"James?" Sirius mimicked with the other boy's name.

"James." Remus said. "Let's go."  
"Where you bothering Moony?" James pushed past Remus and stepped closer to Sirius so he was only feet away.

"No, I wasn't actually." Sirius' tone was sarcastic and condescending. This was not what James wanted to hear.

"I don't think you're being honest..." James started. "You already fucked with Remus a whole bunch of times, why not keep going? You told Snape about his furry little problem, and then you try and make it up with chocolate, and now this? You just have to keep pushing him don't you, Sirius?" James was only a foot from Sirius.

"Oh, so you don't know then?" Sirius' eyes flickered to Remus. Remus' face contorted into an expression of pure fear. Please, Merlin, do not let Sirius say that he let him kiss him. "He forgave me."

"That doesn't mean I will."  
"James, c'mon." Remus stepped in. This was going to end up badly if he let it continue.

"No, Remus. Let James speak... He so obviously wants me to hear everything he has to say, though it is rather irrelevant now." Sirius shrugged and brought James' attention back to him.

"Shut up, Sirius." Remus snapped.

"Oh, now he's defending me, Prongsy." Sirius stepped closer to James. The pair were almost chest to chest.

"I said shut up, Sirius." Remus was now standing near the pair. "James, please, come on."

"Yes, Jamesy, why don't you just go?" Sirius sneered.

"You sound like a bloody Slytherin when you sneer." James smirked.

That was it. Sirius pulled back his arm and hit James square in the face and the bespectacled boy practically flew backwards, nearly falling down the stairs. Remus ran to James' aid. His nose was bleeding and his glasses were cracked, there was also a large bruise forming just under his left eye.

"You hit me." James propped himself up on his elbows. "I can't believe you hit me." James sounded more surprised than mad.

"Now you have two things to forgive me for." Sirius raised an eyebrow at the bleeding man on the floor.

James just laughed- well cackled is more the word to describe the words that came out of James' mouth, but either way he was laughing. James laughed for a long time, all while his nose was bleeding and he couldn't see. Remus pulled out his wand and fixed his mates' glasses then stopped the blood flow from his nose.

"What's so funny, James?" Sirius seemed confused, but then again, the boy he just punched in the face was laughing.

"You- I can't. You hit me, Sirius! I never knew you could, or would, do it." James began to laugh harder. Sirius just stood there, more confused than ever before.

"So what?" Sirius was just trying to sound mad, but you could tell that he was fighting a smile from creeping up onto his face.

"James, you're not making sense..." Remus looked at James.

"Well you guys just don't get it." James shook his head as he laughed, and he started to get up.

"I hit you, and you're bleeding. Why in Merlin's mustache are you laughing?" Sirius was smiling now, not even pretending.

"Because I never knew you could, or would. It's just funny to me." James walked over to Sirius and put a hand on his shoulder. "I missed you, Padfoot. I'm sorry it all led to... This." James pointed at his face, which was still blood stained and the bruise under his eye had darkened.

"I'm sorry too, James." Sirius smiled and pulled James into a hug.

"Mates?"  
"Mates."

Remus was still crouched on the floor where James' body had laid after Sirius had hit him. He was confused, perplexed, outright dumbfounded- but happy that his friends were actually friends again. How it happened, he wasn't about to try and piece together, but it really didn't matter now, things would hopefully be going back to normal. Or, as normal as The Marauders could get.

_**Author's Note:**_

_**Yes, I know. The whole 'going back to being friends again' part sucked and didn't make a whole lot of sense. **_

_**I needed it to happen though, so I'd rather it make some sense then write a completely cliché and totally dbaggy chapter about how they forgive each other and yadayadayada. Besides, they're The Marauders. This entire scenario seems completely plausible seeing as how they normally are.**_

_**On a side note, "There's No 'I' in Team" is a fantastic song, you should listen to it. It's about Jesse Lacy's girlfriend sleeping with his best friend and how super mad he gets.**_


	3. You're All I See, Sink Into Me

_**Warning- The following story may or may not contain explicit slash between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Consider yourself warned...**_

_**Disclaimer- None of the characters you are about to read of belong to me. I am only using them for my sick and twisted enjoyment... And yours. Pervert.**_

"_You're all I see, sink into me. _

_Sharpen your teeth, sink into me._

_Sink in, sink in."_

_Taken from the song 'Sink Into Me' by Taking Back Sunday._

The Marauders, now reunited, walked down the corridor to the Great Hall. Peter on the far left, then James, then Sirius then Remus on the far right. The group seemed happier than ever, James and Sirius were talking and the tension was almost undetectable. Though things seemed to be going fantastically from an outsider's point of view, the group was still on the rocks. James and Sirius still had their moments where they weren't friends and just acquaintances, and Peter just ignored that anything happened- he seemed to be receding from the group, though it was very slow it was still happening.

Sirius yawned as he broke from the pack and headed towards the stairs to the Gryffindor House. His hands were stuffed in his pockets and his movements were almost robotic, as if he was off in a daydream.

"Hey, Pads? Where 're you going?" James stopped and looked the stairs at Sirius, who was now halfway up the first staircase.

"To the dorm. I need a bit of sleep, I've been feeling peaky recently." Sirius yawned once more.

"Well don't be snooping around." James said, half laughing and half being serious.

"Afraid I'll find some gay porn, Prongs?" Sirius laughed condescendingly. James was speechless. The smirk on his face twisted into a bit of a frown, they pair were just staring at each other now. Sirius on the verge of a laugh and James just gaping.

James just turned and walked away and Sirius headed up the stairs. Remus and Peter just looked at one another, and Remus shrugged... They followed James into the Great Hall and sat in their regular seats. They passed the Ravenclaws, the Hufflepuffs and the Slytherins to get to their table. James sat in the very last seat on the right side of the table, Peter across from him, and Remus sat across from the empty seat next to James where Sirius was supposed to be. Instead of seeing the familiar wavy black hair, gray eyes and sinister smile, Remus just saw the stone wall.

James and Peter talked of quidditch, and girls—mostly Lily- and classes or teachers they hated. Remus just looked at his plate. This evening's dinner was mashed potatoes, pork, corn bread, blood pudding, chocolate cupcakes, and pumpkin juice to wash it all down. Remus could feel his stomach tense at the thought of eating any of the food before him. The full moon was in just a few days and he could barely stand drinking anything, let alone having to eat. He just stared at the bowls, pondering what would be easiest on his stomach, and there was nothing here for him. Toast was tolerable, barely but it was, and seeing as it was dinner there would be no toast. Remus just sighed, and looked at his friends. They stopped their conversation and looked at Remus.

"What's the matter, Moony?" James asked him.

"It'll be here in a few days." Remus sighed. "I can't really eat anything..."  
"Oh, Moony." James tittered. "Please try and eat?"  
"You sound like his mother, James." Peter scoffed.  
"He's right, you do." Remus smiled weakly.

"Well then. Remus John Lupin, you are not leaving this table until you finish your dinner. How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?" James put on a fake motherly voice and placed his hands on his hips for effect. 

"Cute, Prongs, very cute." Remus rolled his eyes. "But really, I can't really eat anything... I'll have toast tomorrow, I promise." While Remus said this, in his mind he though how pathetic it was that he had to bargain with his own friends.

"Keep your promises, I'll only believe you if you make an unbreakable vow." James smirked.

"Over the map." Peter added.

"Yes, over the map!" James exclaimed.

"No." Remus said flatly. "I'm going to bed."

"We were just kidding, Moony." James called as the boy left the table.

"Yeah, yeah." Remus called back as he left the Great Hall to trudge up the stairs and to his nice and comfortable bed.

Finally, after several flights of stairs, Remus made it to the door of his shared dormitory. Just as he placed his hand on the door handle, he remembered that Sirius was inside and he should be quiet just in case the boy was sleeping. Very slowly Remus opened the door and slid in as quickly and quietly as he could, but the door and floors still creaked and groaned obnoxiously.

Remus slowly crossed the floor to his bed, and sat on the edge. He toed off his shoes and socks, then unbuttoned his pants, and pulled his shirt off over his head, leaving him clad in just his boxers. He stood and walked to the end of his bed and opened his trunk. Blindly digging through the chest he pulled out a pair of gold and maroon pajama pants and slid them on over his undergarments.

Remus stretched and crawled into bed. The cool sheets fell over his body and he soon relaxed into a near-sleep... He felt the weight of the bed shift and his eyes immediately flew open to see a silvery pair staring back at him. Sirius.

"Sirius?" Remus' voice was rough and scratchy.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?" The other boy's voice was sincere.

"Yeah, it's okay." Remus propped himself up on his elbows as he stared at the boy sitting near the end of the bed. "What's going on?"

"Oh, nothing, I'm just a little lonely is all." Sirius sighed as he smiled weakly down at Remus.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Padfoot." Remus sighed. Ever since Sirius ran away from home in the beginning of the year he had been different, very different actually. He'd seemed less happy-go-lucky and more introverted. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"I don't know." Sirius shrugged and focused on the stray thread on a pant leg of his pajamas. "Even though James and I made up..." He looked Remus in the eyes. "We just haven't been the same, have we? Even between you and I."

"I know, he just needs time." Remus was sitting up entirely now, his back pressed against the headboard of his bed.

"What about you and me?"

"What about us?"  
"Our relationship has changed too, Moony." Sirius nodded at the boy, reiterating his point.

"I know." Remus looked down at his lap.

"It's all my fault." Sirius put his hand on Remus'.

"No, no. It's both of ours." Remus looked up at into Sirius' silver eyes. The darkness that shrouded the bed made his eyes look brighter than ever.

"No, I hurt you, Remus. I hurt all of you, and it's all my fault." Sirius closed his eyes and sighed. "I'm just so lonely since James hasn't been talking to me at all."

"He'll come around, he's already partially there. He just needs time." Remus' hand was on Sirius' shoulder, rubbing in a soothing circular motion and his voice was soft and hushed.

"I hope so, Moony, I really do." Sirius opened his eyes once more. The lids seemed heavy and his face had an air of sleepiness. "Can I stay with you tonight, Moony? Please?"

"Uh, sure." Though Remus said yes, that didn't make him feel any more sure about his decision. The beds were a tad small, so they would be practically pressed together, and Sirius was definitely going through something emotional that involved both himself and James.

"Thank you, Remus." Sirius smiled widely as if it were Christmas come early. He lay next to his pale friend and tried to keep a comfortable distance, though in a bed this small it was rather difficult not to completely pressed against the person that you're sharing the bed with. Sirius felt Remus relax instantly and soon enough he heard the boy's breathing fall into a steady rhythm.

Though he tried to relax, every inch of Sirius' skin was hyper sensitive to what he felt. The cloth of the bed sheet was so soft, and the heat coming from Remus' form just spread through the comforter so nicely, and each breath he took sounded a thousand times louder than it actually was.

Sirius rolled to lay on his side and his eyes were met with a mop of golden brown hair. He wanted so much to just curl up next to Remus and fall asleep with the boy's scent in his nostrils, but he didn't because that would be just too awkward and because it was Remus for Merlin's sake. Yeah, he and Remus were close but not like Sirius and James. Remus and Sirius were close in a different way, not like brothers but like something better. They knew odd little things about one another... Like that Remus preferred dark chocolate to milk or white, or that his eye color never changed even through his transformations, and that he currently had fifty-seven scars over the entirety of his body. Remus knew that Sirius had a scar just above his belly button from when he fell from his broom back in their first year, that his teeth weren't completely straight and there was actually a very small gap between his front two teeth, that even though he hated to admit it Sirius did love wearing sweaters, and lastly that Sirius actually outright disliked Peter and thought he should have been in Hufflepuff.

Almost unwillingly, Sirius stuck his hand out and ran his fingers up through Remus' golden locks. His olive skinned fingers disappeared the thick hair and he felt Remus stir as he repeatedly ran his fingers up the back of the boy's head.

"What're you doin'?" Remus asked sleepily. He was half rolling over and half staying on his side.

"I'm sorry I woke you, I just... I don't know what I was doing. I'm sorry." Sirius really could not explain what he was doing, it was an act of impulse and an odd impulse at that.

"Okay." Albeit the answer was completely inexplanatory, Remus accepted it and went back to sleep.

"Okay." Sirius whispered into the air. Now, he just stared the back of the boy's head. He hated how Remus' hair looked so terribly mussed up.

"Now I can't fall asleep, look what you've done." Remus said in a joking tone.

"I'm sorry." Sirius whispered. He wasn't joking, he really felt bad. "Do you want me to keep doing it?"

"Yes, please. It was actually rather soothing." Remus admitted and rolled back over. His muscles were tense as he lay in wait for Sirius to start running his fingers through his hair once more.

"Okay." Sirius whispered and once more reached out to the back of Remus' head and ran his hands up and down the boy's scalp. His fingers grazed through the hair, burying themselves in the golden locks.

"Thank you..." Remus whispered before his body relaxed more so and his breathing leveled out again.

Sirius slowed his movements and finally stopped. He went back to just staring at the boy and finally acted upon another impulse... He slid closer to the boy so that his arm draped over Remus and their bodies were practically pressed together. Remus stirred once more and rolled to face Sirius. He just looked at the silver eyed boy and he too acted upon an impulse. Remus closed his eyes and scooted closer, his lips slowly pressed against Sirius. Neither boy backed away, or moved at all really, they just stayed there with their lips connected. Finally Remus pulled back and just looked at Sirius... He didn't look angry at all, in fact he looked slightly relieved, and in a way Remus felt the same thing.

_**Author's Note:**_

_**I'm sorry this took so long to get up [innuendo unintended] but I've been terribly busy. Anyway, I like the way this chapter ended, it was nice. It wasn't angry like my last one, it wasn't depressing either, it was just nice and sweet.**_

_**Anyway, I hope you liked it. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, Happy Seasons, Merry Whatever-The-Fuck-You-Believe-In.**_


	4. Later on the Bed

_**Warning- The following story may or may not contain explicit slash between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Consider yourself warned...**_

_**Disclaimer- None of the characters you are about to read of belong to me. I am only using them for my sick and twisted enjoyment... And yours. Pervert.**_

"_Later on the bed, later on the bed, later on the bed._

_Lie to all your friends, lie to all your friends, lie to all your friends, lie to all your friends."_

_Taken from the song 'Bed' by Brand New._

It was weeks ago since Remus' last transformation, and weeks ago that Sirius and Remus had shared a bed. Within that time things had changed dramatically... Sirius and James had become even more estranged and Sirius had gotten closer to Remus. Though from the inside the group was falling apart, on the outside they all seemed to back together and joking around as normal.

"James?" Sirius called from his bed. "Did you take my pillow?"

"Why on earth would I take your pillow, Padfoot?" James walked over to Sirius' bed. There he saw Sirius practically ripping the sheets and blankets from his bed.

"To pretend it's Lily..." Sirius winked and laughed at the now beet-red boy. "But seriously, where is it?"

"I have it, Sirius." Remus held the maroon and gold stripped pillow in his outstretched arm.

"Why did you have it?"James asked Remus. "Why did he have it?" His attention now turned to Sirius.

A small glance was shared between Sirius and Remus. The truth was that Sirius had slept in Remus' bed the last few nights and since there was only one pillow per bed he needed to bring his own. James would never find this out though. A lie was in order.

"I... Uh... I needed it." Remus said.

"Why?" James asked. Damn that boy and his constant questioning of things.

"His arm hurt and he wanted something soft to lay it on." Sirius answered for Remus.

"Oh, alright then." James was finally satisfied with this answer.

"Can I have my pillow please, Remus?" Sirius asked. Remus was still holding the pillow only it was now pressed to his chest rather than outstretched.

"Oh, yeah, sorry." Remus handed him the pillow. "Aren't you coming over tonight?"

"No, sorry. There's a potions test tomorrow, and I know you need sleep so you can do well." Sirius smiled. This was probably the nicest thing- scratch that- this was probably the second nicest thing Sirius had done for Remus.

"Oh, well thank you." Remus smiled. "But I sleep just fine even when you're there."

"Still. You need your rest, Moonshine." Sirius winked at the boy and started to climb into bed. "G'night." Remus called as he walked to his own four-poster.

"Night." Peter said.

"Mrmm." James called.

"Don't let the bedbugs bite." Sirius called last.

"Bedbugs?" Peter yelped.

"He's kidding, Peter." Remus calmed the boy.

"Oh, alright." Peter sounded wholy relieved. This was why Sirius disliked him so... He was such a sod. As annoying as he was, Peter was rather trustworthy, so he at least had one redeeming quality about him.

Sirius rolled onto his side and closed his eyes... He really did want to sneak over to Remus' bed and sleep with the boy's scent fresh in his nose, but he wouldn't. Partly because of the test, and partly to see if he could actually do it. Ever since that night Sirius had slept in the same bed as Remus, and every night he thought of a new reason that he liked the boy so much. Remus was kind to practically everyone, loved all animals, and he almost constantly smelt of chocolate and soap— which, oddly enough, was a very good smell.

The olive skinned boy rolled onto his back and flung the sheets off of his abdomen. His hand lay across his bare stomach, he vaguely felt the scar by his belly button. He thought back to the day it happened... He was riding his very first broom, a silver arrow, and even though it was a rather rickety thing it had some kick. In fact it had so much kick that almost the instant it took off Sirius was gripping the handle so hard that his knuckles were completely white. The broom seemed to have a mind of it's own, but Sirius was still hanging on. From the stands there were a few students watching... Remus, Peter, and Lily. Madame Hooch was out and yelling directions to the boy as the broom whipped him around like a rag doll. After barely hanging on for several minutes the boy could not hold on any longer and his grip slipped and Sirius began to fall. The broom flipped as Sirius fell from it and the tail end scratched up his stomach, leaving the scar, and though the young boy's hands grabbed at the air he just fell and hit he ground hard. He suffered a broken arm, a slight concussion, the scar just near his belly button and he was sore for the next few days.

Sirius smiled as he remembered how worried Remus was. No one else seemed to care as much, but Moony was always asking if his arm or head were hurting him. It rarely ever was... Sirius ran his thumb up and down the scar and continued to daydream. He was so immersed in his thoughts that he didn't hear Remus whisper, or open the curtains. When he finally saw the boy, he let the smallest and most girlish squeal that Remus had to bit his hand as not to laugh.

"You scared me, Moony!" Sirius whispered as he put his hand over his heart to feel the quickened beat.

"Sorry. I whispered your name twice and even opened the curtains. You were off in lala land." Remus rolled his eyes. "Now move over."

"You should be sleeping in your own bed, there's a test tomorrow in Potions. You know that's your worst class..." Sirius made a completely serious face.

"What do you mean 'worst class' Padfoot?" Remus sounded mock offended as he pushed Sirius over and slid into the bed.

"I mean instead of a straight one hundred percent, you have a ninety-nine point nine." Sirius smirked and moved his pillow so it was behind his head.

Remus just rolled his eyes and lay next to his olive skinned friend. Sirius lay on his side facing Remus and they just looked at one another. Remus sighed and closed his eyes. Sirius just stared at the boy, unable to look away. He scooted closer and kissed the boy's forehead and pulled back to see that Remus had opened his eyes and was staring at Sirius.

"I love you, Remus, with all my heart."

"I love you too, Sirius, with all my heart." Remus leaned and kissed the other boy's lips. And Sirius kissed back.

Remus pulled back and found that his hands were on Sirius' hips and ever so slightly pushing the boy's Sirius' right hand was on the back of Remus' neck and the other flat on his chest. Sirius' eyes were open and looking right into his friend's. Sirius waited several seconds and finally pressed his lips to Remus'. Their lips moved against one another, it was an awkward kiss but a good one none the less. Their noses kept bumping together and their mouths were pressed together just a little to harshly.

"We can't tell James." Remus said in a breathless voice as his hands ran up and down Sirius' sided.

"We can't tell anyone." Sirius went and kissed Remus' neck. "Not yet, anyway."

"Not yet, not yet." Remus repeated as his hands wound into the dark locks and pushed Sirius' face into the hollow of his neck. He felt Sirius' teeth graze his skin, it instantly gave him goosebumps.

Sirius rolled so he was on top of Remus and staring down at the boy. Remus' face was flushed and his expression was one of surprise, mixed with fear and perhaps a smidgen of lust. He just stared up at Sirius and Sirius stared down at him.

The black haired boy leaned his head down lower and kissed Remus slowly, their lips parting ever so slightly. Remus' hands moved to Sirius' hips and slowly tugged at the waistband of his pajama bottoms. Sirius' breathing hitched as Remus' hands dipped lower into his pants, his own hands cupped the tawny haired boy's face.

"Remus..." Sirius whispered into the boy's neck.

"Mmm." Remus mumbled in response.

Remus' fingers dipped into Sirius' boxers, the tips of his forefinger and middle finger grazed the heated skin just above the other boy's hardening member. Sirius squirmed at the touch but kept his fingers entwined in Remus' hair and his face buried in the boy's neck as he moaned lightly.

Sirius' eyes flew open the second Remus' hands ghosted over his cock. Sirius rolled Remus on top of him immediately and his hands went to work as he pulled the pale boy's shirt over his head. Sirius stopped, as if time froze. His gaze transfixed on a scar just above Remus' left nipple. It stretched from just next to the nipple all the way up to the boy's collar bone. Sirius traced the raised and silvery skin with his fingers and soon his attention went elsewhere as he soon saw the other sinewy marks that crisscrossed over Remus' body.

"You're beautiful..." Sirius whispered as his breathing slowed. His hands were busy tracing and retracing the old and new scars, and Remus just lay as he watched the boy's face. It never changed... Sirius' expression was one of curiosity, and that's how it stayed.

No matter how many times this would be repeated, Remus told himself it would never he true. His scars made him ugly. Deformed. Handicapped. He would be perpetually different, perpetually changing. No one would ever love him, not all of him anyway. It wouldn't be hard to love Remus as Remus, but they also had to love the neurotic, bipolar, occasionally-aggressive, and regularly domineering wolf that raged inside of him.

Sirius ghosted his fingers over most- if not all- of the scars that covered Remus' front, and soon he was back to what he was originally doing. He waited as Remus pulled at his pants, slowly yanking them down to his mid thigh and even though the touch was barely there, it sent shock waves of pleasure and anxiousness though Sirius' veins. He couldn't wait, he couldn't take this anymore.

Remus sat up so he was straddling Sirius hips, his fingers sliding along the boy's newly exposed boxers and a smile creeping up on his face. His eyes moved with his fingers as they grazed over the fabric of the pale blue undergarments.

"Can I...?" Remus asked. This was all new to him, he didn't know how to please another person at all, let alone his best friend who had apparently had slept with more than half of the female population at the school.

"I-I..." Sirius stuttered. His reputation was failing him. He never actually slept with anyone, in fact he never even got this far. He always faked the whole thing. It was never meant to escalate to his reputation of sleeping with most of the female students at this school, it was only ever meant to impress James. "Y-yes." He finally said, his voice was soft but sure, but his face was wracked with confusion and doubt at what was happening.

Both boys felt it after Sirius gave Remus the right to continue. There was something wrong with this... They were best mates, and had been for the past five years. This would make things complicated, and not just for them, but for James and Peter too- if they were to ever find out. Which would not happen. Well, not yet. Either way, this would forever change the dynamics and web of relations throughout the group. They would all, hopefully, remain friends, but Remus and Sirius would become more. James and Peter would become less. Sirius would probably end up spending more time with Remus rather than James, and James would end up gravitating towards the already withdrawn Peter. With each movement that Remus made, another crack formed at the base of the Marauder's friendship circle. No matter how much this raced through both of their minds, it didn't matter. Fuck the others, fuck the group. This moment, right here and right now, was about each other and that was all that mattered. There will always be another day, but there will never be another moment like this.

Remus slowly dipped his hand into Sirius' boxers entirely, and gripped the boy's erection. His mind tried to tell him what he should be doing, but nothing happened and his hand remained in the same place and grabbing Sirius' boner with the same pressure for the next few minutes Nothing was changing and no one was complaining, not even Sirius. He didn't know what to do, was he to pump his hand up and down or just squeeze? God fucking dammit. Remus studied everything about everything, but apparently wanking-another-boy-off-while-you-lay-on-top-of-him was not in the 'everything' category.

The pale boy closed his eyes and thought about what he does when he has a wank. He began to move his hand up and down Sirius' shaft, it was awkward at first, but slowly he began to quicken the pace. His hand was moving relatively quickly, and at one point his fist had lost contact with Sirius' skin. Remus whispered his apologies and soon went back to it. After several minutes, Remus felt Sirius' stomach muscles tighten and the boy's back arched as a small moan escaped from his lips. Remus felt a slight wetness on his hands and bare stomach.

"Remus..." Sirius whispered. His body lay, limp and sweaty from the orgasm that had just ravished his body. His breathing was heavy and his face had a thin sheen of sweat over it.

"Yeah?" Remus lay his head in the crook of Sirius' neck.

"We can not tell anyone..." Sirius whispered once more.

"I know." Remus closed his eyes. He hated lying to his friends, but letting them know this would only complicate things further. Remus was a werewolf, and he was now gay. He was a gay werewolf, and he was gaying it up with his best mate Sirius Black, who was previously assumed to be straight. Oh yes, that would absolutely go fantastically with his other best mates.

Remus sat up and groped around for his wand, then cast a cleaning spell. Then he just sat there. He just sat there and looked down at Sirius. The black haired boy just staring up at Remus, his silver eyes were bright in the darkness. Remus' pallid skin was a stark contrast to Sirius' olive tone, his shaggy-but-straight tawny hair was an even starker contrast to the pure blood's wavy black locks that hung about his face perfectly. They were quite the pair. But as they say, opposites do attract.

_**Author's Note:**_

_**Hello again. I hope you liked this chapter, I'm sorry it took a little while to get posted and whatnot. Though I do like this chapter... I tried to make the whole sex scene awkward because it's both Sirius' and Remus' first times, both together and at all. Anyway... I hope this chapter doesn't suck and that you enjoyed it, even slightly.**_

_**So leave some love and I'll respond with much thanks.**_

_**-A.**_

_**PS.**_

_**I've recently found a show called SKINS. They're Americanizing it and it'll be on MTV soon, but fuck that shit. The British version is awesome and very very funny. Plus they have a gay character named Maxxi and he's awesome.**_

_**So watch it. You can get the episodes on Netflix and Youtube.**_


	5. I Know You Know Everything

_**Warning- The following story may or may not contain explicit slash between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Consider yourself warned...**_

_**Disclaimer- None of the characters you are about to read of belong to me. I am only using them for my sick and twisted enjoyment... And yours. Pervert.**_

"_I know you know everything. Drop everything._

_I know you didn't mean it. Start it all over._

_I know you didn't mean it. Remember more than you'd like to forget."_

_Taken from the song 'This Photograph is Proof [I Know You Know]' by Taking Back Sunday_

No matter how many times they told themselves, and one another, that 'this is the last time,' or 'we can't keep doing this,' or 'we can't tell anyone,' it still happened. Either Sirius found himself in Remus' bed, or Remus ended up in Sirius'. No matter how hard they tried to hide their little fling—more like affair-the more obvious it became.

It was the fourth night in a row that Sirius had spent sleeping in Remus' bed. Classes would be starting soon, and Remus was wide awake, but the other man in his bed was not. Sirius was, in fact, snoring and doing so rather loudly. It didn't matter though, the others went down for breakfast.

"Sirius..." Remus whispered. He was trying to wake the boy nicely and quietly.

"No." Sirius nearly moaned.

"Sirius, classes will be st-" Remus was cut off by a kiss on the lips.

"I don't care if the school was going to be fumigated for giant bullocks eating slugs, I need my beauty sleep, Moonshine." Sirius smiled into the kiss.

"We need to stop doing this." Remus sighed. "And to do that, you need to get out of my bed."

"You need your sleep too, love. The full moon is tonight, you know." Sirius rolled off of Remus and pulled the curtains surrounded the bed so that the sun could cascade over the sheets without any sort of blockade.

"I know... I need to eat as well, so we should head to breakfast soon as well." Remus squinted at the sudden change in lighting.

"... Or we could stay here and nick food from the kitchens later." Sirius sat on the foot of the bed and smirked up at Remus wickedly.

"Or we could actually go to classes like we're supposed to." Remus raised his eyebrow. He was not in the mood for Sirius' antics today, especially today.

"Nah..." Sirius winked and crawled up the bed to meet Remus at the lips. They've been kissing like this for a long while, but they've only been moving on to the next physical step for a little over a month.

"Sirius." Remus whispered as he tried feebly to pull away from the kiss.

"Remus." Sirius leaned in and went back to kissing the pale boy before him. He didn't know what this made them. Well, gay, obviously. But did this affair of sorts make them a couple, or just friends with benefits? Sirius didn't know, and he really didn't want to ask Remus what he thought. Sirius was petrified he might not get the answer he wants.

Remus gave in. Fuck it. Fuck classes. He does well enough to graduate early, so fuck it. But just for today. Tomorrow they go back to their normal just-friends attitude towards one another and to their classes.

"Fine." Remus rolled his eyes and the now beaming Sirius.

The dark haired boy climbed back into bed and snuggled up to Remus. His right arm lay across Remus' torso, and his left was folded under his head. Remus' right arm was around Sirius and his left was laying at his side.

The pair dozed lightly, but after several minutes Remus opened his eyes and just daydreamed. He thought about Sirius, about James and Lily, and lastly Peter. He thought about where they would be going after this, after schooling. Sirius would be an ever-wandering soul, Peter would definitely get a desk job at the ministry, and James would be an Auror for sure. But where would he be? There were little job opportunities for werewolves, so finding work would be difficult. He would have to just take what he could get.

"When are we going to tell them?" Sirius asked. His voice was raspy from lack of use.

"I don't know... When do you want to?" Remus answered Sirius with another question.

"I have no idea." Sirius looked up at Remus. "Should we? Are we...? Is this real?"

"Do you want it to be?"

"Damn it Remus, stop answering me with another question." Sirius sat up entirely and looked at Remus.

"Well, I'm sorry. I don't know the answer either..." Remus shrugged.

"I don't know, Remus. I-I..." Sirius ran his hands through his already messy hair. "I like you, Moony, I do."

"I like you too." Remus nodded.

"Does that make us gay?" The sound of surprise in Sirius' voice made Remus laugh out loud.

"Well, Merlin, Padfoot. Look at what we do. We kiss all the time, share a bed almost every night, and I even... Yeah. Er, I mean, I'm gay. This may not be completely legitimate to you, but I feel it is. To me, I mean." Remus was rambling now. He was saying things he didn't want to say just yet. "I like you, Padfoot, and I really want to be with you. Not like that though. Well, maybe like that... I don't know. I just know that I like you and I want to tell them, but only if you're ready. And-"

"Remus." Sirius slapped his hand over the boy's mouth.

"Sorry... I just got carried away." Remus blushed ever so slightly and looked at his lap.

"That's okay." Sirius smiled and crouched so he was in Remus' line of vision. "Because I like you, and I want to be with you too." Sirius was still smiling as he kissed Remus' lips.

The click the lock wasn't heard, the creak of the door was ignored, the slight shuffle of feet was barely audible under either boy's words as they spoke. Neither of them heard James come in, and neither of them saw James' silhouette through the curtains on the other side of the bed. James, on the other hand, heard their confession of love for one another, and both express their want to be together. At this moment in time, he wasn't sure exactly how he felt about it.

"Hello...?" James asked coyly.

"O-oh." Sirius pulled away from Remus quickly and wiped his lips. "Hey James."

"I brought you breakfast, Moony. You weren't up and I know tonight is the full moon, so I thought that you needed to eat." James offered the now-cold piece of toast to Remus.

"How long have you been...?" Sirius asked as James stood there, awkwardly and Remus stared at his toast.

"Oh, I just walked in." James smiled at Sirius.

"This is good toast." Remus nodded. The tension dissipated after this small comment.

"You're welcome." James nodded.

"Well, now that you have someone to look after you, I can go shower and get ready, yeah?" Sirius looked from James to Remus then stood and headed towards the House Bathroom.

"How are you feeling?" James sat on the edge of the bed. His eyebrow was cocked ever so slightly.

"Just peachy, Prongs, just peachy." Remus sighed as he tore another piece of his toast off and stuck it in his mouth.

"Is it worse than normal?" James asked.

"Nah, not really. It's about the same... I just feel a little more tired than normal." Remus shrugged.

"Maybe you should get a sleeping serum from Madame Pomfrey after tonight." James nodded. In his head he was thinking that it was because he and Sirius had been sharing a bed.

"Yeah, I probably will." Remus yawned and swallowed the final piece of toast. "Thanks for the food, mate."

"No problem." James smiled.

Sirius has just come back from the shower. His hair was wet, but the rest of him was dried and clothed. A toothbrush poked out of the corner of his mouth and a wet towel was in his hand.

"You gunfa shtay in here, Mooey?" Sirius spoke. His words were morphed into unintelligible babble on the account he was brushing his teeth.

"No. I have to get to classes, Sirius." Remus finally dragged himself from bed and trudged towards the bathroom.

"So..." James broke the awkward silence. Turns out, saying this only made it more awkward.

Sirius looked around the room almost frantically, then ran towards the window. He pushed the large bay window open and spit his toothpaste out. Then grabbed a near-empty bottle of butter beer from the floor and rinsed his mouth with it. He then proceeded to spit that out the window as well.

"Well that was attractive." James scoffed.

"I'm always attractive." Sirius smiled widely and winked at the boy.

James just laughed and lay back on the bed. He heard Sirius shuffle about the room, doing Merlin knows what. When James sat back up, Sirius was putting his tie on and his books were on the table next to him.

"Ready to go, Prongsy?" Sirius smiled at the boy.

"Yeah, sure." James stretched as he sat up. He wanted to tell Sirius what he had over heard, but he couldn't. Not with the full moon tonight. There was already enough stress within the group, and adding this would only make it worse. He would wait until after the full moon...

"How's Peter? I haven't talked to him yet this morning." Sirius asked casually as the pair walked to their first class of the day, History of Magic.

"Oh, he's fine. I think he may still be at breakfast actually. I don't really know." James shrugged. He kept his answer short... Though Sirius showed some form of interest in the boy, he really didn't care for Peter. The only reason they kept him around is because he had been the one that discovered Remus' Furry Little Problem.

"Oh, alright." Sirius nodded. They rounded the corner and headed towards the class... This was the only class that they shared with Hufflepuffs, which didn't make it any more bearable. Now, if the class was shared with Slytherins at least the boys would have their methods of torture to entertain them, but Hufflepuffs were hard-working goody-two-shoes kill-joys. They were no fun to mock...

The pair entered the classroom and saw their teacher, Professor Binns, floating about the classroom as he prepared for the class itself. The room was mostly full, but there were still stragglers coming in just as the lesson began. Sirius spotted Peter sitting in the back row, and Remus was in the desk directly in front of him. Sirius took the seat next to Remus and James next to Peter.

As the class started, James' eyes couldn't' help but hyper analyze every move Sirius or Remus made. Even when they were just sitting there, he would find himself staring at one of them. His mind would wander to the thought of why they were together, or how it even happened. An array of scenarios ran through his head, each one either very awkward and forced or extremely sexual. James blinked quickly to rid his mind of the images... He did not need thoughts of his two best mates fucking burned into his mind forever.

"Mr. Potter." Binns' voice wafted in James' ears as his gaze lifted from the back of Remus' head.

"Mm?" James asked almost sleepily.

"You were mumbling..." Professor Binns had his arms crossed over his chest and he was looking rather impatient. Merlin knows that he was just so eager to teach this subject, and may God have pity on any soul that interrupts the lesson.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I-I didn't even realize." James blinked and smiled weakly at his teacher.

"Would you care to share what you were mumbling about?" The Professor floated so he was directly in front of James and he looked far more irate than from afar.

"Oh, uh... N-no. It was kind of personal." James looked up at the floating man awkwardly. He hoped that the teacher would take the hint and back off.

"Well, seeing as you were talking about it, it shouldn't be too personal." Binns' face said it all. James would have to say something.

"I... Uh. Sir." James closed his eyes. There was only one excuse he could think of. "I... I was mumbling about dead kittens."

"Wh-why?" The Professor seemed entirely intrigued now, and also offended.

"I... I have a... Er. Ihaveahardon." James uttered as quickly as he humanly could.

"You..." Professor Binns' eyes were as wide as ever. How on earth could any student ever say something like that to him? He died and came back to deal with this? Oh Merlin, he needed a new job.

"Yes." James' gaze stayed on his desk. From the corner of his eyes he could see Peter inching away.

"W-well then... A-anyway." He floated away towards the front of the class.

As James looked up, his face was red from embarrassment. Sirius was turned around and just looking at him with a look of sympathy and also like he was trying to restrain his laughter. Remus' face was red, just as his James' was, and his eye brows were about as high up as they could go. The rest of the class was staring at him, even though Professor Binns was droning on about some unfailingly important new spell or something. James' embarrassment only grew when his gaze locked with none other than Lily Evans'. Her face, one of near horror, was about as red as her hair and her eyes very wide. James just smiled weakly and looked away. This probably wasn't the best thing he could do, but it surely wasn't the worst.

The rest of the class was entirely uneventful. After the lesson the students flooded out, each and every one of them were talking about James and his apparent arousal. The four Marauders met outside of the door and walked to their next class. Peter barely speaking, James talking to Sirius every so often, and Sirius talking with Remus as the four walked the halls.

"About tonight..." Peter finally piped up.

"Yeah, Wormy?" Sirius looked at the boy. Irritation obvious in his voice, though he tried to hide it.

"I don't know if I'll be able to stay. I mean, I can get you into the tree and stuff, but I'll probably have to leave after that." Peter nodded.

"Oi. Why is that, mate?" James asked this time. He didn't want Sirius snapping at the poor boy. Though the pair normally shared opinions, their thoughts on Peter Pettigrew were different to an extent. James could tolerate the boy, he would stand by them through and through, he was willing to risk his tail every full moon to get the other boys under the Whomping Willow. He had to be worth something, right?

"I... I have a date." Peter blushed and smiled as he looked up at James.

"Oooh. With who?" Sirius chimed in. His tone was far softer now, and he seemed truly interested.

"Patrice Phaletite." Peter's smile grew bigger. "She's the head girl in Hufflepuff house."

"What are her tits like?" Sirius asked.

"Sirius, don't be vulgar." Remus rolled his eyes. "I think I know her Peter. She's a Prefect, correct? I think I've seen her at the Prefect meetings."

"Yeah, she is." Peter nodded at his friend.

"So you won't be joining us for this moon, then?" Sirius chimed in once more, only this question had much less vulgarity than the last.

"No, I suppose not." Peter shrugged. "I can see you guys off, though."

"That's alright Pete." Remus smiled at the boy.

The rest of the day went slowly... The news of James' erection in class was spread around the school, and by the end of the day the story went something like 'James had a wild octopus in his pants and he told Professor Binns that it wanted him.' This news didn't' go unnoticed by the Slytherins, and many jokes were made for it. Some less creative than others, but he was mocked none the less.

Dinner finally came and the four boys sat in their normal seats at the end of their table. The four ate, well Remus picked but with much coaxing and even more threats he ate a few bites of what he could. They finished their food and left early to prepare for the night. Remus went right to the Hospital wing, while the other three went to their dorm.

James grabbed the cloak and the map, Sirius grabbed his warmest coat, Peter left in just his cloak and off the went. They headed through the corridors, avoiding the castle ghosts and also Filch. Though, he has been here long enough to be considered a ghost...

They made it out to the Whomping Willow. Peter changed and lunged to the knot in the tree that calmed it just enough for the other two to get through. As soon as Sirius and James were through the hole in the trunk, Peter scurried away in his human form back to the castle to get ready for his date.

"Do you think it'll be worse without Peter?" Sirius asked as he and James walked the tunnel from the tree to the shack.

"I don't know... Moony never really paid much attention to Wormtail, so I really can't tell. He might be able to tell that he isn't there this time but nothing else really." James shrugged. He was squinting in the darkness to try and see the tunnel. It was about two hours to the moon, so they had to get there soon.

They walked the rest of the way and showed up just thirty minutes before the full moon. Remus was standing in the center of the upstairs bedroom where the transformations normally took place. James took the Marauder's Map and folded it into his invisibility cloak. Sirius took his coat off and changed into Padfoot. The large black dog shook off the clothing that he was wearing in his human form and went over to stand next to Remus.

Remus pat the dog's head and the dog wagged his tail in response. James had already turned into Prongs and he stood back in wait for the moon to come. Remus stripped his clothing, the silvery scars glinting slightly in the moonlight.

Then he changed. Padfoot and Prongs were standing in the shadowy corner of the room. They saw Remus' skin tear and heard his bones snap. Within a minute he was a fully transformed Werewolf and his golden eyes were scanning the room for his fellow animal friends.

Padfoot came out of the shadows first and stood in front of the great beast as it stared him down. The black dog looked away, a sign of his submitting to the werewolf. Moony looked past him after the acceptable show that he was dominant and that Padfoot was not. Next, he saw Prongs. His beastly brain vaguely remembers this animal... There is no negative feeling and the stag proves to be no threat, so the pack moves on with Moony as the alpha and the others as the lessors of the group.

Moony paced the room, and looked out the window at the moon. His golden eyes transfixed on the orb and finally a howl tore from his throat. He turned back to Padfoot and the black dog just wagged his tail as the werewolf came closer. Padfoot barked and wagged his tail faster showing that he wanted to play. So they did. They romped and ran through the shack for the majority of the night. Finally Moony grew tired and curled up on the shaggy area rug in the upstairs bedroom... Padfoot lay with him while Prongs took his place on the bed.

The next morning Sirius and James woke bright and early, the sun was barely even up. Sirius sat up, his front was cold but his back was fairly warm from Remus being pressed against it all night. James was shivering on the bed, he was by the open window all night.

Sirius dressed quickly and once he was fully dressed he pulled his heavy coat and lay it over Remus who was still laying on the floor in a small tight ball. James was dressed as well and he was flipping the map open to see if Madame Pomfrey was coming or not. As James looked at the map, he saw that she was only about ten minutes from the shack so they would have to sit and wait until Remus left.

They took refuge in the small kitchen downstairs and looked over their wounds from the previous night. Sirius had a rather large cut going down his left arm from a splintery piece of wood, and James had a few splinters and small cuts on his hands. Other than the rest of the minor bumps and bruises that were normal after the transformation, they were relatively unscathed.

"Sirius." James looked at his black haired friend.

"Yes, Prongsy?" Sirius asked as he looked through the cabinet where they hid stolen medicines and other whatnot.  
James swallowed hard. He would have to tell Sirius soon, and now seemed like the best time to do it. He confessed his love to Lily daily, how was confessing his knowledge of his two best mates love and harder?

"Sirius..." James stared and closed his eyes. He did not want to see the boy's reaction once the words came. "I know about you and Remus."

"What about us?" Sirius asked. His tone was one of curiosity, not contempt. He was playing dumb.

"Sirius, please." James opened his eyes to see Sirius rubbing a wound-closing elixir on his arm. "I know about you and Remus. I know that you two... You know." Near the end of his sentence he was almost mumbling.

"James, I can barely hear a thing you're saying." Sirius looked up from his ministrations and walked up to James so that he was face to face with the bespectacled boy.

"Okay, okay." James took a deep breath. Merlin, he hadn't expected this to be that difficult. "I know about you and Remus being together."

"O-oh." Sirius' expecting expression had broken into one of confusion, and one of shame. "When did you...?"

"That day I brought Remus breakfast. I-I overheard you two talking about... Stuff." James choked on the last part. Albeit he got over saying what he needed to, he wasn't about to tell Sirius what he overheard them talking about.

"Oh, I see..." Sirius closed his eyes. "James, please just... Don't hate Remus for this it's-" Sirius broke off. He didn't really know what he wanted to say.

"I don't blame him... I don't blame you either, you know. I just—don't hurt him, Sir." James put his hand on his best mate's shoulder. His brown eyes searched the piercing gray ones. He saw hurt, but also hope and love. This was enough—for now—for him to trust Sirius.

"I won't." Sirius' voice was soft, barely a whisper, but it echoed through the room.

"He can't take anymore hurt this year, none of us can." James pulled Sirius into a hug. He loved Sirius, he really did. They were like brothers, and always would be. No matter what.

"I know, I won't hurt him." Sirius pulled away.

"Okay." James nodded and smiled at Sirius. "I think the coast is clear, let's get out of here, yeah?"

"Absolutely. This place gives me the creeps." Sirius waggled his fingers at James creepily. "Rumor has it that it's haunted."

"I believe that." James laughed and the pair walked out of the house and through the tunnel to the Whomping Willow where they headed back to the castle to later hear about the failure that was Peter's date.

_**Author's Note:**_

_**Well, that took a long ass time to plan and write out. I think it's pretty good though, no?**_

_**Anyway, at the possibility of sounding chauvinistic, my favorite part of the whole chapter was James having to lie about getting a boner in class. I don't care how unnecessary it was, it was funny and fun to type out. **_

_**Thank you for reading, and reviewing if you did.**_

_**-A.**_


	6. Dad, I Think I'm Gay

_**Warning- The following story may or may not contain explicit slash between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Consider yourself warned...**_

_**Disclaimer- None of the characters you are about to read of belong to me. I am only using them for my sick and twisted enjoyment... And yours. Pervert.**_

_"Dad, I think I'm gay. These guys look beautiful all day."_

_Taken from the song "Super Hyperspastic" by Sugarcult._

It was the last day before the winter holidays at Hogwarts, all the students were aboard the train and the Marauders were in their car planning their vacations as the train ride went on. Sirius and Remus sat next to each other and Peter and James across from them.

"I can't believe it's going to be Christmas already!" James exclaimed. "And we're in fifth year! Our schooling careers are almost over, mates. You know what that means?"

"Not fucking about and actually taking classes seriously?" Remus tore his gaze from the window and looked at James with a cocked brow.

"Time to step up on the pranking?" Sirius smiled wickedly.

"No, no, no. Don't be silly." James shook his head. "I only have two and a half years to get Lily's undying love!" James thew his arms up in the air.

"That will never happen Potter." Lily said as she stood in the doorway of the car, a look of disgust but amusement across her face. "Slughorn wants his little crew in his cart, so that means you James."

"Go get 'em, Prongsy!" Sirius egged on as James left. Lily shot him a look of death.

The car suddenly became quiet and awkward. The pair of boys on one side and Peter on the other. He knew about them, and they knew that he knew, but the fact that it was going on made Peter very uncomfortable. They were his mates, why on earth would they want to snog each other? Why would they want to snog any bloke? It's unnatural. The bloodline throughout the magic world is dying out slowly, and their being gay is not furthering the population.

"I-I'm going to go and see what I can get from the food cart." Peter smiled awkwardly and left in silence. He was going to get some food, but he surely wasn't coming back to this car any time soon, perhaps he would visit some Hufflepuffs or something.

"How are we going to do this, Sirius?" Remus asked as he placed a hand on the boy's upper thigh.

"Well, Moony. When one man loves another man, they tend to consummate, or show, their love by having a good sh-" Sirius started to utter rather quickly (and also make lewd hand gestures to really bring the point home) before Remus swatted his hands down and sighed.

"Really Sirius. How are we going to do this?" Remus leaned on Sirius' shoulder and sighed.

"Telling James and Peter wasn't all that difficult, we can do this." Sirius placed a kiss on the top of Remus' head. "Remus, I really like you, and I know this is right. If they don't accept us, well then their loss..."  
"Thanks Padfoot." Remus smiled up at his boyfriend. "I really like you too, and I really like us being like this."  
"How are you going to tell your parents about this?" Sirius asked.

"I don't really know yet... I might just come out about it and tell them that I prefer cock to fanny." Remus laughed. "I think that over eggs and tea would be the best time, no?"

"That sounds perfect to me, Moony." Sirius smiled and kissed the tawny haired boy lightly on the lips.

The pair heaved forward slightly as the train came to a stop at Platform 9 ¾. They just looked at one another and got up slowly. This would be the first time they were apart since last summer... But last summer they were just friends, as of now they were a couple.

"Should we walk out holding hands?" Sirius asked coyly. Though he tried to play his being gay off, he was very worried about what his family would do, and how his peers would react.

"Only if you're comfortable with it, Padfoot." Remus swallowed.

"Let's do it." Sirius took a deep breath and laced his fingers with Remus' as he took his bag in his free hand.  
"Ready?" Remus smiled at the slightly taller boy.

"As ready as I'll ever be." Sirius chewed on the corner of his lip as he and Remus walked down the hallway in the train and passing many semifull cars.

The majority of the students that the pair passed hadn't noticed, but those that did had little to no reaction. Most just raised an eye brow or shrugged it off as if it were nothing. Sirius couldn't have been more relieved. The pair stopped just as they exited the train, their parents were on the other side of the brick wall and there they would have to part for their vacations.

"I'll miss you." Sirius brushed a small lock of hair from Remus' face.

"I already do." Remus smiled lightly and leaned in to kiss Sirius before they had to separate.

"Well, you two are getting bold." James called as he walked towards them.

"We plan on telling our parents over break." Sirius' eyes grew wide and he sighed. He didn't want to tell them, but he knew he had to.

"Oh, wow. That's a big step. I hope it goes well for you. You can stay over at my house if things go badly Sirius, that goes the same for you Remus." James ruffled both Sirius' and Remus' hair and turned to go. "I'll see you guys after break then, good luck and goodbye."

"Possibly sooner..." Sirius mumbled.

"Like James said, if it gets too bad just go to his house. Send me an owl if that's the case, please. I want to know how it went for you. I'll do the same." Remus kissed Sirius one last time and pulled him through the brick wall towards the muggle part of the station.

"Bye Sirius, have a happy holiday!" Remus waved and called to his obviously depressed boyfriend as he left to see his own parents.

"Remus!" Called a voice. It was high pitched and womanly. It was Remus' mother, Gloria Lupin.

"Hello Mom." Remus said as he dropped his bags. His mother wrapped her arms around her son and kissed his cheek.

"I've missed you so much, Remus! My, how you've grown." Mrs. Lupin fretted over her son as Remus' father walked over and greeted his son in a less obnoxious and embarrassing way.

"Hello Dad." Remus shook his father's hand.

"John, look at how our boy has grown!" Gloria pulled Remus in for another hug and held him tightly.

"I see they're feeding you well, boy." Remus' father said and pulled him into a hug. "I've missed you, son."

"I missed you too, Dad." Remus smiled into his dad's shoulder as he was hugged.

They all walked out to the car. Remus carried his luggage and his parents walked in front of him as they exited the station. Remus loaded his luggage into the trunk of his parents muggle car and then got in the back. His mother and father sat in the front and every so often they'd ask him how schooling was and if he made any new friends other than his normal crew.

The small family drove a long way from the station and finally made it to their home on the outskirts of a small rural town. Their house was a small cottage that seemed to be falling apart on the outside... Remus' mother and father went into the house and Remus followed carrying his things. The inside of the cottage was small, but very homely. It looked very well lived in. This was a house where memories could be made, and where families could grow and prosper.

"Do you know when the next moon is, Remus?" Mr. Lupin asked as he boiled water for tea.

"Oh, uh in two weeks I think. I'm not sure about the exact day, but about two weeks." Remus nodded.

"Mmm. How is school? How are you managing with your lycanthropy?" John sat across from Remus at the table as the water boiled.

"Just as I have been for the past five years, dad." Remus quipped. He hated questions like these... Why did his father have to question him about this not even an hour after he got home?

"I'm just wondering, boy. You don't need to snap at me." John stood and checked the teapot and came back to the table and sat once more.

"You don't need to ask these questions. I've been dealing with this for as long as I can remember, and I've been dealing with this at school for the past five. I've been getting along just fine." Remus raised a brow. He thought about telling his father now, when they were just starting to argue. It would take his father's mind off of the small disagreement. Or he could tell him on a better day, when his father was in a happy mood, though that could completely kill the happiness of the day. Remus really had no idea how he was going to do this, and he really didn't want to think about it.

"Do your friends know? I saw you talking to Black's son, does he know?" Remus' father stood one last time and prepared tea for himself and his son.

"They know. He knows as well. In fact..." Remus took a sip from his tea. This was the perfect chance, he had to do it now.

"In fact what?" Remus' father asked as he spooned sugar into this cup.

"...In fact, we are very good friends. He's known for about two years, so have the others." He couldn't do it. He chickened out. And hated himself for it. They were just two little words that he had to say. 'I'm gay.' That's all he had to say. Why was this so difficult?

"Oh, that's good." John nodded and sipped his tea.

Remus' mother walked into the room, holding a folded suit and a picture. Her golden brown hair was pulled back into a loose pony tail, the few gray hairs stuck out like sore thumbs. A wide smile was plastered to her face as she placed the suit on the table.

"Did you tell him, John?" She asked her husband.

"No, I was waiting until you came in." John smiled warmly back at her.

"Oh, lovely." She took a seat at the table and poured tea in her own cup and looked from John to her son.

"Son, we've set up a date for you." Remus' father smiled and placed a hand over his wife's.

"Her name is Victoria Lufkin. Her great grandmother was the first witch to ever become the Minister of Magic. Her family owns the store in town." Gloria smiled brightly.

"O-oh. Well, thank you..." Remus said awkwardly. Oh Merlin, what else could possibly make this worse on him?  
"Here's a picture of her." John held out a photo of the girl. It was obviously a muggle photo because the picture didn't move. The girl had short wavy blonde hair, her eyes were a pale blue and her skin looked flawless. He had found the thing that made this even more difficult— the girl was hot.

"Oh, wow. She's very pretty." Remus swallowed and nodded. She was pretty, but her lack of a cock was a rather large deal breaker to him. "When's the date?"

"This Thursday. Only three days away." Remus' mother and father smiled at one another and looked back at Remus.

"That's what the suit is for, I'll assume?" Remus looked at it. It was a very nice suit. It was a brown tweed suite that looked to be made of wool.

"Yes it is, son." Remus father said as he stood. He walked past Remus and patted his shoulder as he left to the living room.

"You should take this too your room with your other things and keep it in the closet, you don't want it to get ruined." Remus' mother Gloria said as she took her and John's cup and began to wash them in the sink.

"Of course, mother. I'll do that now." Remus said quietly. He really needed to tell his parents and before the date would be far better than after.

Remus gathered his trunk and new suit then took it all upstairs to his small bedroom. It looked exactly the same as it did when he left to head to school. His closet was slightly ajar, his bed was made, the curtains were pulled open and the small bookshelf in the corner was overfull and just about ready to explode. Remus went to his closet and hung his new suit. He really liked the suit, it was very nice and probably will fit him well since he had gained some weight since his fitting last summer.

The first thing Remus did before anything was open his suitcase and pull out the books he had loaded up on before school started and exchanged them for new ones from his bookshelf. The very next thing he did was take the small photo of he and Sirius and slide it under his pillow. After several seconds he pulled the photo back out and looked at it, it was just a casual picture of he and Sirius laughing over something. Sirius' arm was around Remus' shoulders and Remus had his hands in his pockets as he and the black haired boy laughed— and eventually kissed.

The events of the day wore Remus out and he was ready to fall asleep right then and there, even though it was only about seven at night and he hasn't even had dinner yet. He considered not eating until breakfast the next morning until the smell of beef stew wafted under his door and into his nostrils. He immediately got up and headed downstairs to eat and talk with his parents more. He felt bad for snapping at his father, and seeing as how Mr. Lupin was in a better mood and more patient with his son he seemed sorry as well, though neither would actually apologize.

The next days passed quickly with little to do in the Lupin house other than read and explore the outside world, though he rarely left the home considering it was mid December and cold enough to freeze your bollocks off. Remus woke one morning and stretched, he felt the bones in his back crack and pop as he stood. Today was starting rather well.

"Ready for your date tonight son?" Remus' father asked as Remus sat at the table. His day was ruined.

"Oh, yeah, that's tonight isn't it?" Remus blinked and yawned. He really wasn't awake yet, but his father was obviously wanting to talk to him so he might as well pretend to be coherent.

"Yes it is. You didn't muss up your suit, did you?" Remus father asked as he picked up his bagel and took a bite from it.

"No, no. It's in my closet." Remus responded as he poured tea from the pot on the table.

Remus finished his tea and headed upstairs to the shower. He stood looking in the mirror for a long while... Why would any girl think he was attractive? Bad question. Sirius Black thought he was attractive and that boy was just straight up fucking gorgeous. Oh, god, he really was very gay, wasn't he?

He shook off his thoughts and stripped down. The water from the shower was blazing hot, but soon cooled to a comfortable temperature. Remus washed his hair and body quickly and then just stood in the shower to bask in the nice warmth of the water. He thought of how things were going for Sirius and if he told his parents yet, he doubted it, but it was possible. He so wanted to tell his family today, he wanted to tell them yesterday too, but he couldn't. He had to wait for the right chance, and that chance just hasn't come yet.

The thoughts of Sirius hadn't left the boy's mind until later that night when Remus finally had to get ready for his blind date with whats-her-name from in town. Remus wore a white button down under the vest part of his suit and black leather shoes. He looked very good dressed up like this, but he was dressed for a girl rather than who he really wanted to be with.

"Are you ready yet, Remus?" Gloria knocked on Remus' bedroom door before opening it slowly.

"Yeah, mom." Remus turned to look at his mother. He was right about the suit, it fit him fantastically and even made him look very attractive.

"Oh, Remus... You look so handsome." Remus' mother walked over and flattened her son's hair and smoothed the shoulders on his shirt before stepping back to look at him once more.

"Thank you, mom." Remus smiled. Perhaps he would enjoy the evening with this girl.

Remus headed downstairs with his mother. His father greeted him in the living room and reiterated what his mother had told him upstairs. Remus just smiled and nodded at his parents. Then it was time.

"Here." Remus' father handed him the keys to the muggle car outside. "Take good care of it and be careful."

"Of course dad." Remus nodded and took the keys from his father. He has driven before, but he hasn't done it since last summer so he was anxious about driving at night in winter.

"Have fun." Gloria called as Remus headed out the door towards the car.

Remus drove to the girl's house and stopped outside. He took a deep breath and looked at the house. It looked like his own, but bigger. He looked at the surrounding houses and saw that they all looked generally the same as Remus', only bigger or nicer, or both. Remus got out of the car and walked up the front step to the door and knocked twice.

"Hello, I'm Remus." Remus said as an older man answered the door.  
"Hello, I'm Victoria's father, Mr. Lufkin." The older man nodded and moved aside so Remus could come inside. "She'll be down in a moment."  
"Thank you, sir." Remus stood in the entrance way and waited for his date.

"So, what are your plans for the evening?" Mr. Lufkin asked.

"Oh, uh. Well, we're probably going to go out to dinner, but I'm not sure after that. Whatever she wants to do."  
"I see. What restaurant?" He asked.

"Whatever she likes." Remus nodded and smiled timidly at the girl's father. He was quite scarey and very intimidating.

Footsteps could be heard coming down the stairs and Remus saw her. She was wearing a light blue dress with black heels and a blue ribbon in her hair that matched the dress. She looked beautiful. Remus smiled and so did she. Even though he wasn't into girls, he had to admit that she looked absolutely fantastic. Her father handed her a coat and she slowly put it on.

"Hello." She said timidly.

"Hello. I'm Remus." Remus said to her.

"I know. I'm Victoria." She smiled and nodded. "Shall we head out, then?"

"Of course." Remus said and went to open the door for her. "Ladies first."

"Thank you." She said as she stepped outside into the cold.

"So, where do you want to go?" Remus asked as the pair walked down the stairs and to the car.  
"Do you want to go out to eat? There is a small restaurant down town a bit that I like. They make great Italian food." She suggested.

"Great, we'll go there." Remus opened the passenger side door for her and then went around and got in the driver's side.

They drove to the restaurant in silence, except when Victoria pointed out where the establishment was. They got out and quickly walked inside the small entrance way and checked in their coats. They waited to be seated, and almost no small talk was made. Once they were at a table the pair ordered their food and waited for it to arrive.

"What are you doing for the holidays?" Remus asked.

"Oh, nothing much." She nodded. "You?"

"Yeah, me neither." Remus sighed. This date was going horribly. Fuck.

"Listen." She leaned in. "I know you don't want to be here, and frankly neither do I. So why don't we just act like this isn't entirely forced and just be friends, yeah?"  
"Oh... Uh, yeah. Sure." Remus was completely and entirely surprised.

"My father has been trying to marry me off since I could walk, seriously. He's ridiculous." She sat back and rolled her eyes. "Why are you here?"  
"My dad told me three days ago that I would be taking you out. I had no reason to object." Remus shrugged. He actually had a reason. A big, obnoxious, black haired, gray-eyed reason.

"I never want to go on the dates my dad sets up..." She sighed. "They're never with anyone interesting or my type."

"I'm sorry." Remus didn't know what else to say.

"Not that you're uninteresting, well you could be I'm not sure. You're not my type though." She shrugged. "The funny thing is that my dad doesn't know I'm already with someone, and I have been for at least a year now. He just keeps setting me up. I think he knows I'm with someone, he just doesn't accept it. Neither will my mother."

"Oh, why won't they accept it?" Remus was intrigued now.

"Because he's a muggle just like I am. My father wants me to carry on the wizard bloodline in the family, he wants magical grandchildren." She sighed as the waiter put the massive plate of lasagna on the table.

"Oh, wow." Remus picked up a fork and just stared at the pasta dish. In his mind he was thanking Victoria for convincing him that he really didn't need to order for himself and that they could just split a dish. "I'm sorry about that."

"You can't help who you love, you know?" She said between bites.

"Oi, tell me about it." Remus rolled his eyes and took another bite of the lasagna.

"You're with someone?" She looked up from the plate. "What's her name?"

"Yeah, _his_ name is Sirius." Remus looked up at her. She was pretty much a stranger and he was telling her all these things anyway, it was actually very good to get it all off of his chest.

"Oh, you're gay then." She nodded. "And your parents still set you up on dates with girls? Wow. That's really messed up." She looked sorry for Remus, and the sympathy seemed sincere.

"They don't know." Remus said between bites.  
"Oh my god, why not? You have to tell them or they'll keep doing this." She placed her fork down on the table. "Listen, we can end the date after this, okay? Then you can go home and tell them the date didn't go well because you're gay." She told him.

"Oh, er... I don't know... They-they might not be okay with it, and I don't know if I can tell them just yet." Remus stuttered out as Victoria stood to walk out.

"Fuck 'em." She shrugged and walked towards the door. "C'mon, let's go." She walked past the counter to pay and grabbed her coat as well as Remus'.

"O-okay." Remus barely mumbled. He really didn't want to go through with this, but Victoria's 'fuck them' attitude really made him want to. So what if they didn't like it? She was right, fuck 'em.

They both got into the car and Remus drove her home, this ride was just as silent as the one going to the restaurant. Victoria got out the car and just before turning to look at Remus in the car and wished him good luck. He drove off and pulled into his driveway and just waited there. He wanted to think of how he was going to approach this before he actually went in the house. Finally, after several minutes Remus got out and walked into the house.

"Remus?" Gloria called from the kitchen. "You're back early."  
"Is Remus home already?" Remus' father asked as he walked into the kitchen where both Remus and Gloria were.

"How did the date go?"Gloria asked as she stood washing dishes in the sink.

"Not all that well." Remus swallowed. "Actually, it was worse than that... It was pretty bad."

"Why, son?" Remus' father asked as he walked closer to Remus.

"Mom, dad..." Remus started and closed his eyes. He couldn't bare to see their reactions. "I-I'm gay."

"Remus..." Gloria was first to speak.

"I'm gay." He repeated. This was the best feeling in his entire life. There was a weight lifted from his chest, the anxious shakes faded and he just looked at his parents.

"How do you know?" John asked.

"I-I'm dating a guy at my school, and I really like him." Remus looked his father dead in the eye.

"Oh, Remus..." Gloria said as tears rolled down her face.

"Mom... Don't cry." Remus felt awful, the guilt was overwhelming.

"Remus, go upstairs. I'll be up to talk to you later." John's voice held no emotion. Remus couldn't tell if his father was angry or not.

"Okay..." Remus walked out of the kitchen and upstairs to his bedroom.

He took of his suit and put on the clothes he was wearing before the date, even though it was about eight at night. He paced the room, from one side to the other, over and over. He couldn't shake the feeling that his father would be angry, even though he wasn't positive. He hated coming out, he hated it. It took the weight off of his shoulders, but added guilt to his heart. He hated it, but loved it all the same. He felt free, but hated.

"Remus?" His father's voice came from the other side of the door.

"Yes, come in." Remus sat on the bed and his father entered with two cups of tea.

"Here." John sat on the creaky mattress next to his son and sipped his tea before setting the cup on the bedside table.

"I'm sorry for making mom cry." Remus started off as he sipped from his cup.

"Don't be, you were just being honest." Remus' father put his arm around his son. "She just needs time, it's a shock to her— to both of us Remus."

"I know." Remus didn't know what else to say.

"When you first came home, I knew there was something wrong, that's why I kept badgering you about the moon and all sorts of other things that it could be. I thought that maybe you would tell me if I asked enough." John sighed and pulled his son closer. "I'm sorry you didn't feel comfortable enough to tell me sooner."

"It's okay." Remus sipped his tea.

"You're mother and I still love you, we always will. We love you for you, not for who you love." Remus' father pulled Remus into a hug and just held him.  
"Thank you dad." Remus face felt hot. He knew he was going to start crying very soon.

"You're welcome." John pulled away, and to his son's surprise he was crying. "I love you, son."  
"I love you too, dad." And then came the tears. He was crying because he was happy, because he was sad, because he finally felt accepted wholly by his parents and he knew that they loved him no matter what.

"Now, Remus..." His father took on a more serious tone. "When am I going to meet this boy?"

"I don't know. He hasn't told his parents yet either, I don't think." Remus sighed. It felt awkward to talk to his father about boys... It was nice that the man was showing interest though.

"What's the boy's name?" John picked his cup from the table and sipped it slowly.

"Sirius." Remus held the now empty cup in his hands. "Sirius Black." He smiled as he thought of the boy, it was an odd reaction for Remus.

"Oh... Orion's son?" John sounded surprised. "More power to the boy, Merlin help him when he comes out to a family like that."

"I'm worried about him... He's left his house early during summer break too." Remus just looked down into his cup.

"Send him and owl and see if he's okay. If need be he can stay with us." John smiled as his son as he stood to go. He took Remus' cup and left the room and closed the door behind him as he went.

Remus flopped back on the bed with the biggest smile on his face. As much as he wanted to think that Sirius would come here for break, he knew that he would end up at James'. That's what he always did. Remus forced those thoughts from his mind, he was just happy that his family had accepted him so well. It's not like they had a choice to, their son had a hard life so far. Not only was he a werewolf, he was also gay. Life had a knack for fucking up his life, but at least now he had someone to go through all of this with.

_**Author's Note:**_

_**Oh my goodness, I actually felt anxiety while typing this. Even though I'm not gay, the thought of coming out to my parents with something that big scares me. When I have children and if they're gay I'm going to be damn proud, it takes fucking guts to just tell your family something that personal.**_


	7. I Used to be Such a Burning Example

_**Warning- The following story may or may not contain explicit slash between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Consider yourself warned...**_

_**Disclaimer- None of the characters you are about to read of belong to me. I am only using them for my sick and twisted enjoyment... And yours. Pervert.**_

"_I used to be such a burning example,  
I used to be so original.  
I used to care, I was being cared for.  
Made sure I showed it to those that I love._

I used to sleep without a single stir,  
'Cause I was about my father's work."

_Taken from the song 'Millstone' by Brand New._

As Sirius walked away from Remus and towards his own family he could feel the tension in the air as he got closer. He saw his father, Orion, standing tall and overly proud in his black suit and leaning on his cane. An expression of disgust permanently etched into his aged features... His mother, Walburga, stood in her long wine-red dress and her thick fur coat hanging over her old and frail frame. Her graying black hair pulled into an up-do, her gorgeous clothes nor epic amounts of makeup didn't hide her aging or the ever evident scowl that cut jaggedly across where her mouth was.

"Who was that boy you were talking to?" Orion asked as soon as Sirius walked up.

"He's just one of my friends from school." Sirius looked away. He knew where this was going.

"His mother is a muggle..." Walburga cut in. "...Such filth."

"Mm." Sirius just mumbled with neither an agreement nor disagreement.

"Where's Regulus?" Sirius asked.

"He and Kreacher are already at home, they took the Floo Network. Kreacher carried Regulus' bags, but unfortunately you'll have to bear your own." Walburga's tone went from nonchalant to condescending as she spoke to her son.

"Okay." Sirius said. He didn't want to start a fight, not in public. The screaming matches would be saved for later once he finally came out to his parents. Now that he thought about it, perhaps telling them in public would be best. He would have a lesser chance of being beaten in front of people than behind closed doors...

Walburga and Orion ahead of Sirius and out of the muggle area of the station and towards the large fireplace off to the side. They went through first and then Sirius went with all of his luggage and himself. When he first arrived he thought he was in the wrong house, this room seemed far too bright to be his home. He moved his luggage from the old fireplace in the too-bright-to-be-his-house living room and saw that Kreacher was already at work cleaning the windows.

"Merlin, Sirius. You tracked dust and soot all over the carpet! You're a waste of space, now Kreacher is going to have to clean that too." Walburga stood in the doorway to the hall with her hands on her hips. Oh, yes, this was absolutely his house. "Or, if you prefer, you could get on your hands and knees and clean the floor yourself."

Sirius opened his mouth to retort about how he just loves to be on his knees, especially for his 'half blooded filth' of a boyfriend Remus, but instead he chose his words quickly and closed his mouth immediately. He took his things up to his room and flopped back onto his bed.

"I'm coming in." A voice said before entering.

"What do you want, Regulus?" Sirius snapped at his younger brother.

"I know." Regulus said. This was all he had to say for Sirius to be sitting up in his bed and looking at the smug boy's face.

"You know that you're an insolent little prick? Well, that's good... The first step if treatment is realizing you have problems." Sirius nodded as if that's what his brother was talking about.

"I'd be nicer to me." Regulus walked over to Sirius, who was still sitting on the bed. "I know about you..."

"I know about me too, most of the school does. I'm a very popular person." Sirius nodded once more, an eyebrow raised at his brother.

"No, Sirius. I know about you and that boy." Regulus said finally before a wicked smile broke out on his face.

"So what?" Sirius quipped right back. His expression was straight, showing no fear, but in his head his thoughts were going a mile a minute and he absolutely had no idea what to do.

"I'm going to out to to mom and dad." Regulus smirked. "It doesn't really matter though, does it? This thing with that Lupin boy is just like all those girls. It's just a fling." Regulus laughed before walking out.

"Regulus." Sirius said finally, but his brother was already gone. Sirius stood and paced his room.

"Oh, and dinner is done by the way. They want you downstairs, now." Regulus said as he poked his head into the door frame once more. Sirius just sighed and got up slowly. He hated dining with his parents, all they ever spoke of were 'filthy mudbloods' and 'halfbreeds' and so on and so forth.

"Fantastic." Sirius muttered as he headed down the hallway.

Sirius slowly walked down the stairs and heard his parents talking in hushed tones. He walked through the door and their conversation immediately stopped and the pair separated to sit at either end of the table. Sirius took the seat across his brother and Regulus just smirked at him as he sat.

"Pork, Master Sirius?" Kreacher asked as he held the bowl up towards Sirius.

"Yes, thank you." Sirius mumbled. He wasn't in the mood to eat, but he had to have some sort of distraction from watching his brother watch him.

"Sirius." Walburga started, her voice forever plagued with a tone of anger and distaste.

"Yes, mother?" Sirius looked up from cutting his pork.  
"You're father and I..." She started "Have decided that you are old enough to marry and we have hand picked a daughter from another pureblood family."

"You..." Sirius looked from his mother to his father. "Oh Merlin." He mumbled.

"Sirius." Orion stepped in once he saw his wife's face become red with anger. "You are the heir of the Black family and we've decided that you're fit to marry now and we've picked out your future wife."

"No." Sirius crossed his arms.

"You're acting like a child, Sirius." Walburga snarled in her angry tone. "You're going to meet this girl, marry her, and your children will carry on the Black name."

"What do you expect? I am just a child." Sirius placed his palms flat to the table and gaped at his mother. "I am not fit to marry."  
"Oh, I'll say you're not." Regulus nodded. "You're a right git, an insane one at that."  
"Stay out of it." Walburga, Orion and Sirius all said simultaneously.

"Now, Sirius. Listen to us..." Orion slammed his fist on the table. "You're going to go and meet Ms. Bones at her home in three days, do you understand me?"

"Mmm..." Sirius mumbled.

"I said: Do you understand me?" Orion bellowed.

"Yes." Sirius whispered.

The rest of the meal was in complete silence except for food requests to Kreacher. Sirius poked at his food and finally, without eating as much as a bite, he excused himself from the table and went back into his room. He had no idea how he was going to deal with this. He had to go on the date, if he didn't things would be far worse. He could tell his parents after the date... He'd have to tell them eventually.

"Sirius." Regulus appeared out of nowhere leaning against the door frame to his bedroom.

"Jesus Christ, Regulus." Sirius cursed at him.

"Who's 'Jesus Christ?'" Regulus asked, still leaning.

"Oh, I don't know. It's just something my friends say at Hogwarts.

"You mean it's what you boyfriend says when you..." Regulus smirked as his brother glared at him harshly.

"Shut up, Regulus." Sirius snapped.

"You'll have to tell them sometime. They've set you up for marriage to that Bones girl." Regulus rolled his eyes. "You'll have to tell them that you're a prancing ponce, or a gallant gay, or fabulous fag, or..."  
"Didn't I just tell you to shut up?" Sirius snapped once more. He hated his brother. He hated the whole lot of his so called 'family.' Perhaps he would just skip out on the date and take James up on his offer.

"You did, and I didn't really listen." Regulus shrugged. He was now sitting in the gold and maroon striped armchair in the corner of Sirius' bedroom.

"I hate you." Sirius whispered. "I hate you, I hate you. I hate you." His tone had gotten progressively louder and more harsh. "I hate you. Now get out." Regulus just cocked a brow and left his brother to stew.

Sirius opened the window of his bedroom and called his owl, Armanth. The great brown owl flew in and shook the snow off of his feathers. Sirius pat his head and opened the cage on top of his dresser to let him relax while Sirius wrote his letter.

_Dear Remus,_

_I haven't told my parents yet. In fact, they've set up a date for me..._

_Not just any date— one to my 'future wife.'_

_So, as you can see, coming out isn't going well. _

_I hope it's going better for you than it is for me._

_Love,_

_Sirius_

He folded the parchment and wrote Remus' full name on the front and grabbed another piece of parchment from his desk. Thank Merlin for James. He wrote a letter to the other boy telling him his plans for leaving this Hell hole of a home. Sirius stood and tied both letters to the owl's leg and the great bird took off into the dimming sunlight.

Sirius looked at the clock by his bed, it was only eight at night and he felt exhausted. He couldn't stay in the house much longer, his family was going to kill him or die trying. He stripped down to his boxers and put on a pair of loose fitting pajama bottoms and slid into bed.

He stared at the ceiling for a long while, thinking of Remus. He thought of how this ordeal was going for him, if he had told his parents yet or not. He must have only gotten home a few hours ago... Remus may have told them right away, though it's doubted. Remus is not that type of person. He hoped that Remus' parents weren't doing the same thing his own were.

Sirius woke the next morning and stumbled down stairs to eat breakfast. He had toast with eggs and as soon as he finished he quickly went back upstairs to shower and dress for the day. His parents didn't even say anything to him at the breakfast table.

"I'm going out..." Sirius called as he closed the door behind him. He hadn't expected them to respond, nor care, but if they didn't know the consequences would be far harsher than them just not knowing. He walked down the street and looking at the neighboring houses as he passed. They were full of wizard families, just like his own, but they were considered less important according to his family.

Sirius had walked for more than two hours before returning home for lunch. His mother was sitting at the end of the table reading the Daily Prophet and sipping her tea quietly. Sirius slowly ate his lunch and tried not to glance at her every so often.

"What do you think of Lord Voldemort?" Walburga asked her son she set the news paper down.

"Oh, uh..." Sirius stuttered. He wanted to speak his mind, but not so much that it would result in a beating. "I don't know."  
"You can't not know. You're a Black for Merlin's sake." She raised an eye brow.

"I don't think he should be hurting people." Sirius said finally. "He shouldn't kill people because they're different than what he wants."

"He's only killing mudbloods and muggles." She said condescendingly. Sirius kept quiet, he knew where this was leading. She was baiting him, and it wouldn't work.

Sirius just looked at his plate of half eaten food and got up. He couldn't bear being with her anymore. She was awful, and her trick questions only made dealing with the woman worse. How could a beast such as herself be willing to take care of children? Perhaps she wasn't willing, perhaps it was all just to keep the bloodline from dying out.

Sirius sat on his bed and stared out the window. He wished James or Remus lived closer, even Peter would be tolerable at this point. He hated the isolation of this house, it had a suffocating feeling. Everything was so dark and looming, it closed around a person and constricted them.

The following two days drug on and felt as though they were the longest days on Earth. Sirius tried to stay in the house as little as possible, and if he had to be there he would hid out in his room and waiting for letters from his friends. Finally, a brown owl and the owl he sent out flew into his room almost simultaneously.

The first letter was from Remus, Sirius couldn't be happier and he nearly tore the letter to bits as he rushed to open it.

**Sirius,**

**I came out, and it went really well.**

**My family set me up on a date too, and the girl told me that I should just be out about it.**

**And I did it.**

**They're okay with it too.**

**I'm so happy.**

**I hope it goes well for you, if not you can go to James' like you planned.**

**I love you, Sirius.**

**-Remus.**

Sirius smiled at the letter. He was so happy that it went well for Remus, he was overjoyed for the boy. If only his own family would be as loving and accepting as the Lupins, but that would never happen. Next, Sirius opened the letter from James and began to read.

_**Padfoot,**_

_**I'll be here when you need me.**_

_**Don't hesitate to just show up when you want.**_

_**-James**_

Sirius smiled at the letter and put them both in his desk. He continued repacking his suitcases and added more books, clothes, photos and whatever else he may want in the future. He looked around his room... There was nothing really here for him to want. He never really had anything that was his personally, it was always a family heirloom or something that Sirius really didn't care about in the least. He was finished packing and it was just about five o'clock in the evening. He had two hours to get ready for his date.

"Sirius." Orion called as he knocked on his oldest son's door, then proceeded to come in. "Why are you not getting ready?"

"He's not getting ready?" Walburga shrieked as he pushed past her husband. "Why are you not getting ready? This date is important, you two need to start getting to know one another. She is your future wife."

"No, she's not." Sirius looked at his mother. He looked past his parents and saw Regulus standing in the doorway. His eyes were wide and a look of fear across his face. As much as Sirius disliked his brother, he knew that Regulus feared for him, and Sirius felt the same about him.

"Yes, she is. You are going to get ready and go to that date, right now." Walburga shrieked at Sirius.

"No. I won't." Sirius' tone was flat and solid, unbroken by his mother's harsh words.

"Why is that?" His mother spoke to him through bared teeth. Her eyes filled with anger and hatred.

"Because I'm gay." Sirius said flatly. "And I have a boyfriend, who's a half blooded werewolf. And I fucking love him." Sirius said finally. He threw his head back and laughed maniacally.

"How can you do this to me? First you rebel, now you lie?" Orion glared down at his son.

"Oh, I'm not lying." Sirius shrugged and cocked his brow.

"You're not gay." Walburga spoke scornfully.

"Okay, I'm not." Sirius smiled sweetly at her. "I'm just really like cock and I have a boyfriend... But of course I'm not gay."

"Get out of this house." Orion bellowed. "Get out and never come back. You are not my son."  
"We can't let this get out... We can't let them know our son... Our son is-is a homosexual." Walburga said 'homosexual' like she was talking about mudbloods.

"You say it like it's a bad thing." Sirius laughed again before casting the _locomotor_ spell and pointing his wand so the luggage floated out of his bedroom.

Sirius headed down the stairs and even as he stood in the living room, he heard his parents yelling and screaming about what was going on. He was putting his coat on and saw Regulus out of the corner of his house. Regulus just stood there shocked as his brother dressed to leave.

"What do you want, Regulus?" Sirius snapped at him.

"Nothing..." Regulus sounded small and childlike, as if Sirius had really hurt him. "I just..."

"Look, I'm sorry I snapped at you." Sirius looked at his brother. "Seriously, what is that you want?"

"I'll miss you." Regulus pulled his brother into a hug.

"I'll miss you too." Sirius said. He was completely surprised to hear Regulus say that to him. He thought his brother hated him, or at least seriously disliked him. He was wrong. Regulus was going to miss him, and this made Sirius feel guilty about leaving him in this house. Regulus had no where to go, he had no friends who were willing to let him hide out and get away from this.

"Goodbye." Regulus pulled away and let his brother leave. He loved Sirius, he really did. It was just difficult living in a house where only the adult's opinions mattered. Regulus saw how hard it was for Sirius to be different, so to avoid that scorn he had acted like his family wanted... He just hoped that it wasn't making a serious impression and he would be able to move on from what has been beaten into his mind for the past fifteen years of his life.

"Bye, Reg." Sirius smiled slightly as he left. He loved Regulus, he really did. It was just difficult living in a house where only the the adult's opinions mattered. Sirius saw how his parents were changing his brother, and he didn't want the same outcome for him. He was going to be who he was going to be and that was final. He just hoped that Regulus could get away from the lies his parents beat into him for the past fifteen years of his life.

Once outside, Sirius let his luggage drop and began dragging it down the street to the corner. He waited for a while, and soon enough the Knight Bus came at last. He loaded his luggage and told the driver where he wanted to go—where he needed to go.

_**Author's Note:**_

_** There you have it, how Sirius came out to his parents. It wasn't pretty, but it could have been worse. He could have been forced to stay and undergone far worse abuse than the screaming match between himself and his parents. **_


	8. Underneath It All, It's Just You

_**Warning- The following story may or may not contain explicit slash between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Consider yourself warned...**_

_**Disclaimer- None of the characters you are about to read of belong to me. I am only using them for my sick and twisted enjoyment... And yours. Pervert.**_

"_Underneath it all, it's just you  
And it's you I love  
It's you I love  
You I love  
It's you I love"_

_Taken from the song "You, I Love" by Josiah Leming._

There was a knock at the door. This was odd, they weren't expecting visitors and it was dusk so there would be no possibility of it being the post. Gloria walked over to the door and peered through the window. Through it she saw a tall, slender boy with flowing black hair. He was shivering slightly and his hands were stuffed in his pockets. She opened the door and the boy jumped slightly.

"Can I help you?" She asked.

"Is Moo-I mean Remus in?" Sirius asked anxiously.

"Yes, he's upstairs... May I ask who you are?" Gloria answered suspiciously. The boy had familiar features, but she could not place him.

"My name is Sirius. Sirius Black. Can I please see him?" Sirius asked as he looked behind the woman, whom he had assumed to be Remus' mother.

"Oh, I see. You can come in, I'll go get Remus." She smiled slightly.

"Who's there Gloria?" Called Mr. Lupin, he was standing in the hallway to the door.

"It's a boy Remus knows. His name is Sirius." She moved to the side so Sirius could come in.

"You're Sirius?" John blinked at the boy.  
"Yes, sir." Sirius nodded and the man, whom he had assumed to be Remus' father.

"I'm going to get Remus for him..." Gloria said as she passed her husband to go upstairs.

"No, no. Let him go find Remus." John smiled at the boy.

"Thank you, Sir." Sirius smiled widely. Sirius bounded up the stairs two at a time and stopped as soon as he got to the top of the stairs.

"You know him, John?" Gloria asked as she watched the boy look around at the doors in the upstairs hallway.

"Not personally, but I've heard his name before. He and Remus are together." John looked at his wife.

"Oh." She said quietly. Her face blushed. He loved her son, and she wanted him to be happy. But the thought of him with someone made her nervous [he's only a baby!]. Her anxiety was caused mostly by her son's affliction. She worried that he would never find someone who loved him, but apparently she was wrong.

Sirius looked around the hallway and saw that one door was open, and it led to the bathroom. There were two other doors. Both doors looked exactly the same in every aspect. He would have to take a guess. He decided to go to the door at the far end of the hall. He opened it and slow peered inside. It was empty.

He walked back to the door just near the top of the stairs. Sirius took a deep breath, grabbed the handle and opened the door quickly. He threw it open and ran inside. Remus was standing by his dresser pulling a night shirt on, his face bore an expression of shock.

"Moony!" Sirius yelled as he ran to the boy and grabbed him around the waist in a full body hug.

"Sirius?" Remus asked as he bashed against the wall, still partly shirtless.

"I've missed you so much, Moony! You have no idea!" Sirius hugged his boyfriend tighter and kissed his face.

"Let me put my shirt on, Padfoot." Remus laughed.  
"Oh... I'm sorry." Sirius backed away and let Remus pull his shirt on.  
"There, now I can hug you properly!" Remus threw his arms around Sirius' neck and kissed his face.

"I've missed you so much, Remus." Sirius pulled away slightly to talk face to face with the boy.

"I missed you too." Remus pulled Sirius towards the bed and the pair sat next to one another. "Why are you even here? Did you leave your parents house?"

"Yeah, I left earlier. I dropped all my stuff off at James' before I came here." Sirius smiled and kissed Remus on the cheek. "Merlin, I've missed you so much."  
"Oh my god. Did they kick you out or did you just go?" Remus asked as he lean his head on Sirius' shoulder.

"Well, both really. I was planning on leaving, but they kicked me out after I told them... After I told them that I love you." Sirius kissed the top of Remus' head. "I love you, Remus."  
"I love you too, Sirius." Remus picked his head up and kissed Sirius' lips slowly. "I love you so much."

Sirius and Remus just sat their together for a while. Talking and kissing and just catching up since they last saw one another, which was only about four days ago. Soon the moon was out in full view and it's light cascaded across the room, covering both boys with shadows.

"Did your parents go to bed?" Sirius asked.

"Uh, probably." Remus got up and poked his head out of the door, the entire house was quiet. "They are."  
"Good." Sirius came up behind Remus and kissed his neck as his arms snaked around his waist and pulled him closer.

Sirius pulled Remus to the bed and pushed him down on his back. Sirius hovered just above Remus, straddling his hips and slowly sliding his hands up the boy's shirt. His fingers grazed over the ever present scar tissue and soon the shirt was pushed up to Remus chest and Sirius pulled it over his head. Remus reached up slowly and pulled Sirius' shirt off as well. Sirius waited until his shirt was off then pushed Remus' arms down and the boy lay helplessly as Sirius kissed his lips and worked his way down his chest.

"S-Sirius..." Remus' eyes stayed transfixed on the ceiling. His arms were spread out and in his hands were bunched bedsheets.

"Remus..." Sirius said as he kissed just below Remus' naval.

Sirius slowly pulled Remus' pajama bottoms down and kissed the heated skin as the cloth slid down over his hips. Sirius blindly groped for Remus' length and soon grazed his fingers over the heated length as he continued to kiss the boy's hips. Sirius looked up at Remus, who was now looking down at Sirius. His face as flushed and chest was heaving. A small smirk etched into Sirius' face and an anxious expression crossed Remus'.

Remus lay back again and went back to staring at the ceiling. Sirius' tongue flicked out over the tip of Remus' cock and a small gasp escaped from Remus' lips. Sirius opened his mouth and took Remus into it in one motion, and bobbed his head slowly up and down over Remus. Remus pushed his head further back into the pillow and bit his lip. He felt a moan growing in his throat.

Sirius' pace quickened and he heard Remus gasp and whimper every so often. Sirius' pace sped up even more. He felt Remus' fingers lace through his hair and heard the boy whimper and gasp as Sirius continued to suck him off. Finally, he felt Remus tense and moan, but it was quickly muffled by his hand. Hot liquid shot down his throat, taking Sirius by surprise, but he swallowed quickly anyhow. Sirius pulled Remus' boxers and pajama bottoms back up, then crawled up so he lay next to Remus.

"That..." Remus sighed and kissed Sirius. "That was amazing."  
"That's good." Sirius smiled into the kiss. "I've never done it before..."

"Do you...?" Remus grazed his hand over Sirius' crotch and felt a very bulgy bulge.

"If you would, please." Sirius said.

Remus smiled, then shifted so he was on his side and his head lay on Sirius' chest. His right hand worked on opening the top button on his jeans and slowly unzipping the fly. He felt Sirius' breathing hitch under his head as the tips of his fingers grazed the flesh just above Sirius' boxers. He slowly slid his hand underneath the fabric and ghosted his fingers over the heated flesh and began to pump his hand up and down the olive skinned boy's length.

"Moony..." Sirius moaned slightly. The arm that wasn't tucked beneath Remus moved to card through the boy's light brown hair.  
"Shh..." Remus cooed to Sirius as his hand moved slowly over the hot skin.

Sirius bucked into Remus' grip and let out a strained whine before relaxing entirely. Remus reached across Sirius to grab a tissue to clean of his hand, and also Sirius' stomach. He leaned up and kissed Sirius slowly before pulling the blankets up over the both of them.

"Thanks Moony." Sirius whispered before falling asleep.

The next morning Sirius woke in bed alone. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, he heard a shower running from down the hall. He got up and saw that his pants were gone, but in their place was a pair of pajama pants similar to the ones Remus wore the night before. Sirius, not knowing what to do with himself, walked over to the dresser and looked at the mirror that hung above it. His hair looked knotted and his face still ridden with sleep.

"Good morning, Padfoot." Remus said as he walked into the bedroom. A towel was hung around his waist and his hair was wet.

"Oh, hello." Sirius walked over to Remus and sat on the bed in front of him.  
"Do you want to shower? I was going to see if you wanted to go before me, but you were asleep so I just showered." Remus shrugged.

"Oh, yeah, sure." Sirius stood and walked into the bathroom. He looked at the knobs. "Hey, Remus?" There was no response. The bedroom door must have been closed. "Dammit." Sirius mumbled to himself. The knobs weren't labeled so he was likely to either freeze his cock off or burn his bollocks off.

"What's wrong?" Came a soft voice.

"Oh, uh..." Sirius said awkwardly. It was Remus' mother. Remus looked very much like her. He had gotten his golden eyes and golden hair from her. Her voice was soft and sweet, if it were a bit deeper it would be a perfect match to her son's.

"Yes?" Remus' mother asked again.

"I don't know how to work the shower..." Sirius said awkwardly. He hated not knowing this. He knew that it would be overly simple after it was explained.

"Oh, alright." Remus' mother laughed lightly and showed Sirius how to turn the shower on and make sure it was the right temperature. "There you go."  
"Thank you." Sirius said as she walked out of the bathroom.

"You're welcome, Sirius." Mrs. Lupin said.

Sirius was momentarily surprised that she knew his name, though really he shouldn't have been. Remus probably told them who it was that he was dating. Sirius smiled at the thought of Remus just being out about it all, when Sirius couldn't be with his own family. Sirius stripped his pajama bottoms and boxers, then threw them in the hamper. He showered quickly and half ran to Remus' room in an attempt to avoid other awkward run in's with Remus' parents.

"That was fast..." Remus commented as he brushed his hair.

"Yeah, yeah." Sirius closed the door. "Your mom showed he how to use the shower." Remus just smiled and shook his head in response. "Do you have any clothes I could borrow? Mine is all over at James' house."  
"Oh, of course." Remus put the hair brush down and pulled clothes from the drawers in his dresser.

"Thank you." Sirius smiled and dressed quickly.

Sirius, though they were together, felt awkward wearing Remus' boxers, but he wore them anyway. The jeans that Remus gave him were amusingly short—but not to Sirius, though Remus found them out right hilarious. The pair of straight leg blue jeans just grazed his ankles.

"Moony..." Sirius whined as he looked down at his legs. "Look at how awkward these are."  
"Oh Merlin, Sirius. You look so bloody funny. Come on now, love, do a little twirl." Remus laughed as Sirius stood and glared at him.

"Shut up, Remus." Sirius said with fake anger in his voice. "Can I please have another pair of pants?"  
"I don't think wearing two pairs of trousers will fix how short they are." Remus quipped before busting out laughing once more.

"Seriously, Remus..." Sirius whined and looked at his obnoxiously short pants. "Look at these pants! They're too short..." Sirius threw his hands up and made a distraught face.

"Well, gee Sirius, I never noticed that they were too short." Remus laughed again. "Here, let me pull them down a bit to see if it looks better." Remus knelt in front of Sirius and started to tug at the jeans to pull them down a little.

"Oh, Moony..." Sirius coed. "I really like you in this position." Sirius winked down at Remus, who was now looking up and glaring at Sirius.

"Cute, Sirius, very cute." Remus rolled his eyes and went back to tugging. He then stood up and looked at the jeans. "Well, that didn't work." Remus sighed.

Sirius huffed and sat on Remus' bed. Remus, suddenly getting a good idea, left the room and came back moments later with a folded pair of jeans—which he then threw at Sirius and ordered to put on. Sirius took off his preposterously short trousers and put on the new pair. They fit much better in both length and width.

"Those are my father's." Remus nodded at Sirius. Sirius just nodded and sat back down on the bed,

"Now, how about a shirt, yeah?" Sirius asked Remus.

Remus threw a shirt to Sirius, and surprisingly, it fit him well. Now, both of them were dressed and ready to head down stairs for breakfast with Remus' parents. They walked down the stairs and walked into the kitchen where both John and Gloria Lupin were sitting at the table.

"Good morning, boys." Mr. Lupin greeted them warmly.

"Good morning, sir." Sirius responded. Apparently, Remus' father hadn't noticed Sirius' pants, or he just wasn't going to mention it. Either way, Sirius was gracious for this.

"Hello, dad." Remus sat and pointed to the seat across the table for Sirius to sit.

Everyone sat in complete silence, just eating their breakfast slowly and quietly. Remus and Sirius stole glances from one another and Sirius would look at either one of Remus' parents every so often. The entire breakfast scene was silent, and unsettling.

"So, Sirius..." Remus' father asked. "How long have you and Remus known one another?"

"Oh, since first year at Hogwarts." Sirius nodded as he swallowed a bite of his bacon. "We're best friends."  
"I hear you two are more than that." Gloria commented lightly.

"Yes, we are." Sirius smiled at her. He wasn't sure of how she was taking Remus being gay and having a boyfriend. Perhaps her comment was positive, rather than rude like it sounded.

"We've been together for most of this school year." Remus smiled at Sirius from across the table.

"Oh, that's nice." Gloria smiled at her son and at Sirius.

A wave of relief washed over Sirius. Remus' parents had taken it extremely well, and they were accepting Sirius as Remus' boyfriend. Things were going well and Sirius couldn't be more happy.

"I don't think we've had a formal introduction, Sirius." John put down his fork and looked at Sirius warmly. "I'm John Lupin, you can call me John or Mr. Lupin." John shook Sirius' hand.  
"I'm Gloria Lupin, you can call me Gloria." She smiled warmly at Sirius and nodded curtly.

"Thank you." Sirius smiled at both of them. "For letting me stay over, it's very nice of you."

"Oh, it's nothing." John shushed the boy. "You are Remus are together, and I wanted to meet you, so why not let you stay over?"

"Thank you anyway." Sirius nodded once more before continuing his breakfast.

After everyone was finished with their breakfast John and Gloria went over to the sink to start the dishes together. Sirius watched them. They joked and laughed together—this was much more affection between parents than Sirius had ever been exposed to. His mother and father were never intimate on any level, so this was a shock to him.

Sirius and Remus cleared the table and passed the plates to Remus' parents as they stood washing the dishes together. Even as the two boys placed plates and silverware in the sink John and Gloria would just continue talking and laughing, though Gloria did whisper thanks tot the boys after the table was entirely cleared.

"D'you want to go for a walk, Sirius?" Remus asked as the boys went back up into Remus' room.

"Sure." Sirius nodded.

Remus dug through his closet and pulled out an older looking coat, then he opened his trunk and pulled from it the coat he wore at school. He handed Sirius the coat he normally wore and adorned himself with the older coat. The pair slipped on their shoes and headed back down the stairs. Remus called to his parents that he and Sirius were going for a walk and the pair left out the front door.

"Where are we going?" Sirius asked as he looked down the old country road and back at Remus.

"I don't know." Remus shrugged. "How far are you willing to walk?"

"I'd follow you anywhere, Moony." Sirius winked and pulled his hand out of his pocket to hook it through Remus' bent arm. "I love you."

"I love you too." Remus smiled and kissed Sirius as they walked down the road heading Merlin-Knows-Where.

"I really love you, Moony." Sirius said in a more serious tone. "I don't think this is just a teen-years thing. It's not a fake 'I love you' that people say to console one another. I really bloody fucking love you."

"And I..." Remus kissed Sirius more deeply than before. "...Love you. I love the way you love sleeping, but never go to bed early. I love the way your hair never mats up, though it's really wavy and curly. I love the way Padfoot has the same eyes as you, and how his one eyebrow can raise like yours does, and how he has a small scar on his belly like you. I love the way you concentrate harder on a prank than one any test you've ever taken in you entire career at Hogwarts, and I love how you can get yourself into any situation and find a way out, no matter what." Remus had his forehead flat to Sirius'. The pair hadn't gotten far from Remus' house, but they were stopped on the side of the old road just standing together. "I just love you, Sirius."

"I love you, Remus. I love you..." Sirius smiled. "I love how you worry about others more than yourself, especially around the full moon. I love how you snap at everyone for almost nothing, but once you get chocolate it's as if months of depression has been lifted off of your shoulders. I love the way you act as if you're married to chocolate and how you'll save a single bar of Honeyduke's for over three months. I love the way that when you wake up, you're immediately ready to go. I love how you can wake up without an alarm clock—thank Merlin for that or I'd have to smash it to bits every day. I love how you can find the best in people, like me." Sirius kissed Remus and wrapped his arm tightly around the boy's waist and pulled him closely.

"Stay with me, Sirius."

"Forever, Remus."

"Forever."

_**Author's Note:**_

_** Cheesy ending is cheesy, but also significant for later chapters. So it doubles as retarded cheesiness now, but really important things later. Anyway, I hope you liked the twist in the beginning. If you called that it was going to happen, then high five for you! If not, then that's okay too, because you found out anyway and all is well.**_

_**Thank you for reading this chapter, I hope you liked it. **_

_**The next chapter should be up sometime next week [I would cross my fingers, but that would prevent me from typing, so then the chapter would never get posted. And, well, that's just counterproductive.], and seeing as how I've known what every chapter will be about since the one with James' finding out, the updates should be somewhat quicker.**_

_**Thank you so much, I am grateful for all the reviews I've gotten for this story, as little as they may be, and I'm happy that people are reading my story!**_

_**-A.**_


	9. Take Me, Take Me Back To Your Bed

_**Warning- The following story may or may not contain explicit slash between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Consider yourself warned...**_

_**Disclaimer- None of the characters you are about to read of belong to me. I am only using them for my sick and twisted enjoyment... And yours. Pervert.**_

"_Take me, take me back to your bed._

_I love you so much that it hurts my head._

_Say I don't mind you under my skin._

_I let the bad parts in, the bad parts in._

_When we were made, we were set apart._

_Life is a test and I get bad marks. _

_Now some saint got the job of writing down my sins._

_The storm is coming, the storm is coming in."_

_Taken from the song 'Degausser' by Brand New._

Sirius had only spent one other night with Remus before heading back to James' for the duration of the vacation. When the group returned to Hogwarts, everything went back to normal. It was as if Sirius never left home and that he doesn't live with James' family over the holidays and summer months.

"I can't believe this..." Sirius threw his Potions book on the floor. "We've been back two days and I have a two foot long essay on some bloody potions thing, and I have a test in Herbology tomorrow."

"Slughorn assigned that essay the day before we left, you know." Peter muttered. The comment earned him a glare from a very irritated Sirius. "I'm going to get help on this transfiguration from McGonagall."

"See you later, Wormtail." Remus called from where he sat in the common room. He was in a large leather chair by the fire, reading of course. The common room was nearly empty, only a few ghosts and a handful of students were around.

"Where's James?" Sirius asked as he leaned back in his desk chair.

"Detention with Professor Sprout." Remus looked up at Sirius. "He'll be there until about ten tonight."

"I see..." Sirius looked up at the clock. It was only seven thirty now. "When do you reckon Peter will be back?"  
"Well, seeing as how Wormtail is at transfiguration, I think he'll just catch up with James on the way back from his detention." Remus shrugged and went back to his book. He felt bad that he was being rude about Peter, but the boy did not do well in transfiguration, and the full moon was only days away so he was in a slightly bad mood and it was affecting his feelings, even towards his friends.

"Hmm..." Sirius hummed in thought.

Sirius stood and walked over to Remus. The dark haired boy stood directly in front of Remus and plucked the book from the other boy's hands. A wicked grin on his face told that what he was up to, was absolutely no good.

"Sirius..." Remus started, but he was pulled into the standing position and Sirius' lips met his, and he was immediately silenced.

"C'mon." Sirius pulled Remus up the stairs to their shared dormitory.

The entered the light less room and Sirius quickly turned from Remus to cast silencing charms as well as locking charms on the door. He then turned back to Remus and kissed him slowly. Remus kissed back, more harshly and pushed Sirius onto the closest bed, which thankfully was Sirius'.

"Moony..." Sirius mumbled into the kiss. "I love you, so much."

"I love you, I love you too." Remus responded as he kissed down Sirius' neck and nipped at the skin.

Remus' fingers tugged at the tight white button down that covered Sirius' torso. The buttons immediately started popping open and soon enough the shirt was on the floor beside the bed. Sirius' fingers, mimicking his boyfriend's, started to pull Remus' shirt open and his shirt joined the other.

"Remus." Sirius stopped Remus and pushed him away slightly.

"What's wrong?" Remus asked. His bad mood was dissipating, but this sudden stop made him feel very impatient.

"I love you, and you love me." Sirius started. "And I know the full moon is soon, and I want to make you feel good before it happens."  
"You're already making me feel good, Sirius." Remus snapped slightly and went back to kissing Sirius' neck and collar area.

"I know, I know." Sirius pushed him away once more. "But I want to make you feel better than this, I want to make you feel better than any other time we were together before this."  
"You mean...?" Remus' irritation and impatience was set aside for now.  
"Yes." Sirius nodded slowly.

Remus smiled broadly and kissed Sirius slowly. His hands moved down between their bodies and worked Sirius' belt open, then his own. Remus pulled back to tug his trousers down his legs and off of his body, and Sirius did the same. Now both boys were clad in their boxers as they kissed and touched slowly.

"Sirius..." Remus whispered. His voice was rough and ragged.

"Y-yes?" Sirius responded as he looked into Remus' golden eyes.

"We're going to need some... uh, lube." Remus said awkwardly.

"Oh, right." Sirius said as if this was the most obvious thing to ever happen. "It's in the top drawer of the end table right there." Sirius pointed to the bedside table to his right, and he was right. A small bottle of lubricant was in the top drawer.

Remus moved back to slid Sirius' boxers from his legs and then stripped himself down to nothing but a smile. He moved back between Sirius' legs and held the bottle in his hands and just looked at it.

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked.

"Oh, nothing..." Remus smiled down at Sirius. "I just... I just love you. I love you, a lot."

"I love you too." Sirius smiled up at Remus and sat up just enough to kiss his lips softly.

"Tell me if I hurt you, okay?" Remus asked.

"You know I won't." Sirius smirked, and Remus laughed lightly in response.

Remus opened the bottle and poured a generous amount onto his fingers and slowly slid them under Sirius and rubbed the lubricant over his entrance. He felt Sirius shudder as his fingers grazed over the sensitive flesh. He then poured some into his palm and coated his length with the cold liquid.

He pulled back and lined himself up with Sirius and slowly began to push himself inside as he gripped the other boy's narrow hips. He felt Sirius shudder underneath him and waited for the boy to adjust. He heard Sirius let out a slow breath and proceeded to pull out slightly and plunge back in deeper. Remus' fingers moved from Sirius' hips to be laced with Sirius' own fingers. His thrusts were slow and deep.

"Ahh..." Sirius moaned lightly. "Moony..."

Remus heard this small moan and thrust the way he had before, and again a moan escaped Sirius' lips. He had come to the the conclusion that he had hit the boy's prostate, and decided to continue doing so until he had the boy screaming.

"Oh-oh god..." Remus moaned into Sirius' neck as he thrust more deeply and quickly.

He thrust several more times, each hitting Sirius' sensitive spot that made him writhe and shudder. Remus could feel the intensity of an orgasm building up in the pit of his stomach with each thrust into his lover. He was finally pushed over the edge as Sirius moaned out his name loudly and arched against him.

Sirius, hearing Remus moan as he came and feeling the final prods at his prostate had pushed him over the edge as well. He let out a long sigh and several small moans before his body entirely relaxed. Remus watched as Sirius' previously tense stomach muscles released and his breathing began to slow to a near normal pace.

"Remus..." Sirius whispered as the boy fell on top of him. Both were covered in a thin sheen of sweat and gasping for air.

"Sirius." Remus responded as he looked at the boy. His chin rested on the boy's chest as he looked into the stormy gray eyes.

They just lay together like that for a long while. Remus hanging across Sirius' torso with his head on the boy's shoulder and Sirius with his arms wrapped around Remus. Their bodies slowly cooled and came down from the temporary adrenaline/endorphin high.

"I love you." Remus whispered as he breathed in the scent of Sirius.

"I love you too." Sirius responded without a second thought to any of it.

Remus sat up slightly to look at the clock, it was nine o'clock at night, they had an hour until the other two returned. They lay together and talked and kissed for the majority of the hour before getting up to dress. When Remus stood he saw that there was dried cum over himself, Sirius, and the bed. They would surely have to shower now, and get new sheets.

"Look at the mess we've made." Sirius made 'tsk'ing sounds as he stood to look at the bed.

"I suppose we should change the sheets, and shower then, yeah?" Remus said as he started to strip the bed.

They changed the sheets and headed towards the Gryffindor showers together, seeing several students on the way. Every single one gawked at the dried white stain that splattered over Sirius' stomach and chest. Neither Sirius nor Remus acted as if anything was wrong and continued holding their towels around their waists and walked towards the showers together.

By the time they returned, James and Peter were back. James was changing into his pajamas and Peter was eating the last of his chocolate frog stash. James' eyes lit up as he saw Sirius. As soon as the boy realized Sirius was in the room, he ranted to him how unfair the detention was and how mental Professor Sprout is with her plants.

"So, did anything interesting happen while we were away?" James asked finally.

"No, not really." Remus shrugged and flopped onto the bed. He glanced at Sirius, who was smirking slightly.

"Hm..." Sirius hummed. "Anything new with you, Wormtail?"

"No, not really. I've got a lot of help on my transfiguration though." He smiled.

"That's good." Sirius clapped a hand on the chubby boy's back. "I'm surprised you could even turn a mouse into a teacup, let alone turn yourself into a rat..." He muttered quietly as he walked away.

"What time is it, Prongs?" Remus asked asked as he shifted piles of books around his bed.

"Ahh... About ten thirty, closer to the quarter of eleven, really." James nodded as he squinted at the clock. His glasses were on the table beside his bed, and he wasn't about to put them on for such a small task.

"Alright." Remus yawned and began to close his curtains before glancing at Sirius. "I'm going to sleep."

"I reckon I'll go to bed too." Peter said. James was already closed off in his bed, his only response was a snore.

"Hold the curtains open, Moony. I'm coming to join you." Sirius said as he half jogged to the boy's bed.

Peter saw and heard this, and it outright disgusted him. Sure, he told the two that it didn't bother him, but really it did. It was unnatural for them to be together... They had to further the wizarding race, and two men could not procreate. It just wouldn't work. Peter didn't just hate their being gay, he hated that they each had each other Remus had Sirius and Sirius had Remus. Hell, even James had Lily in a way. Even if James couldn't tell that Lily's armor against his come-ons were chipping away, Peter sure could.

He hated being the outcast of the group, he hated that everyone looked down on. He was just the spectator. The most he could do was nick things from the whatever classroom for their most recent prank. He hated them for it being that way, all of them. Though he would never show it.

Ever since the first day of his career at Hogwarts, he wondered why the hat had put him in this house. At most, he should have been a Hufflepuff. He wasn't brave, nor chivalrous, nor did he have any nerve... At least not in the way that the hat intended nor expected. As soon as he left this school, he would show his friends—and everyone—just how brave and full of nerve he was.

_**Author's Note:**_

_** This chapter was difficult to write, mostly because of the sex scene. I really had to think it out before I did anything, which sounds odd since it's just sex but it's their first time both in general and together. I wanted to make it awkward, and quirky, and cute, and just amazing. I'm not sure if I hit that standard, but I think I did relatively well with it.**_

_** Anyhoo, now onto Peter being a douchebag. He's being a douchebag. That's about it. That's the only thing that I can use to describe him, and describe him well. 'Douchebag' is a good term for him, I think.**_

_**Finally, the lyrics to the song at the beginning. I find it to be the most fitting, not to just this chapter, but to the entire story. Also, it's a fantastic song, and I highly recommend it be listened to by anyone who can hear and understands the English language. **_

_**-A.**_


	10. I Want To Stay 18 Forever

_**Warning- The following story may or may not contain explicit slash between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Consider yourself warned...**_

_**Disclaimer- None of the characters you are about to read of belong to me. I am only using them for my sick and twisted enjoyment... And yours. Pervert.**_

"_I'm gonna stay eighteen forever, _

_So we can stay like this forever._

_And we'll never miss a party,_

_Because we keep them going constantly..."_

_Taken from the song 'Soco Amaretto Lime' by Brand New._

Nearly two years have passed since Sirius and Remus fell in love, and with each passing day, week, month and year they've grown closer and have fallen more in love. They're now both eighteen and just about ready to graduate from Hogwarts and go out into the real world. They were about to head out into a world where dark magic was rampant, and the war to end all wars was in their midst.  
"I can't believe we only have a few days until we graduate and are out of here..." James said. He was leaned against one of the many massive oak trees outside of the castle. It was midday and the sun was shining brightly.

"Me neither..." Lily sighed. She was leaning against James, who had his arm around her.

"What are we going to do after this?" Peter asked coyly. "We've been doing this for the past seven years and in three days it stops."

"I can't even think about it..." Sirius laughed anxiously as he scooted closer to Remus. He didn't want to think about moving out of here, he couldn't imagine not seeing his friends every day.

"What are you guys going to do after you graduate?" Remus asked Lily as he lay back in the grass with his head in Sirius' lap.

"Care to tell them, James?" Lily smiled up at James. He smiled back at her and kissed her slowly before taking a deep breath and looking at his mates.

"Well," James started. "We plan on moving in toget-"

"We're engaged!" Lily shrieked. She couldn't wait to tell them, and she absolutely couldn't wait for James to tell them.  
"Really?" Remus sat up immediately and went to grab Lily's ring hand.

"Yes!" She laughed and nodded quickly holding her hand out for Remus to look at the ring on her finger. The ring was a thin golden band with a medium sized beautifully cut diamond placed perfectly in the center of it.

"Congratulations!" Sirius ruffled James' hair and smiled at Lily warmly. He was so happy for them.

"That's awesome, mate." Peter smiled at them both.

"Thank you, thank you." James looked at all his friends. He was so lucky to have them as his friends. They were an odd bunch, but so was he, and everyone fit in well together. It was perfect. Today was the perfect day, and now that James had his love, Lily, at his side he felt like growing up wasn't that scary. He felt that things would be okay, and they would make it out of this and everything would go well.

"What about you, Peter?" Lily asked. She pitied the chubby blonde boy... He was nice, but she could tell that he wasn't as prominent within the group dynamic.

"Oh, Merlin, Lily..." Peter half smiled and ran his fingers through his hair in thought. "I have no idea..."  
"That's no good, Peter." Remus cut in. "Didn't you say you wanted to become a herbologist, or perhaps an Auror?"  
"Yeah, I guess." Peter shrugged. "I'm good at herbology, so I could do that." Peter smiled at Remus. Out of everyone, Remus was his least favorite. No matter how nice Remus was being to him, he would always come off as a know-it-all and his tone was very condescending.

"What about you, Padfoot?" James asked Sirius who was currently running his fingers through Remus' hair.

"I was thinking about becoming an Auror..." Sirius nodded at James. "...And having Moony and I live together." Sirius looked down at the boy who's head was in his lap. Up until now, the news of he and Moony moving in together was only in his head, and not even Remus knew.

"...Really?" Lily asked excitedly. Today was getting better and better. It seemed that everyone was going somewhere great with their life, and with the person they love most.

"Really." Sirius smiled at Remus, who just stared up at Sirius smiling. "What do you think, Moony?"  
"I..." Remus sat up, just enough to kiss Sirius' lips. "...Think it's a great idea."

"Great." Sirius smiled.

"Great." James smiled as well and congratulated his best mates on their news.

"Great." Peter said. His tone slightly lower and less ecstatic about the whole thing. He hated Remus even more now... The werewolf, the gay werewolf, could find love and yet he couldn't. Peter was a normal guy, mildly attractive, he was about average with his skills and talents, but still overlooked entirely. Sometimes he wishes that he could have been a Slytherin and at least he would have stood out for something, anything really, and he would have had friends that followed him instead of friends he followed.

The group continued on with their chit-chat and talked more about what they wanted to do and when it was all going to happen. Peter didn't talk much, but thought about his future... He really didn't have anything planned out all that well. James and Lily were getting married and going to move in together and start a family. James was going to become an Auror, and Lily would like to do so as well, but gravitated towards the housewife ideal. Sirius and Remus, as they just said, were going to move in together Sirius becoming an Auror and Remus getting whatever he could... Not many hired werewolves. Then there was Peter. Peter Pettigrew. The boy with out a plan, the man with no woman at his side, the guy without a future.

"Hey, since we only have a few days left here why don't we through a huge party in the common room?" James' eyes lit up as he spoke. "Anyone in the house is invited, and it'll be an all nighter."  
"I'm in." Sirius said immediately as James stopped talking.

"So am I." Peter said.

"Me too." Remus said happily.

"I'll help too." Lily piped in.

"Great." James smiled wickedly. "This will be the greatest party that Gryffindor, nay, Hogwarts has ever seen!"

"How big are we talking?" Sirius asked as he leaned in.

"Astronomical, Padfoot." James nodded. "The entire Gryffindor house, all in the common room."  
"Oh Merlin." Sirius' eyes widened.

"This party will be so big, Merlin will hear it in his grave." James nodded and laughed.

And James was right. This party was massive. There was music blaring, every table was either taken up with drinks, food, or a person. Everyone was moving, and talking, and singing, and just making noise. James himself was tipsy, Lily was still on her first butter beer, Sirius was starting to slur his words, Remus hadn't even had a drink yet, and Peter was the most drunk of them all. He had started drinking the second they nicked the butter beer and bottles of fire whiskey He couldn't even form a coherent thought let alone speak.

It was around three in the morning when Remus finally caught up to Sirius and dragged him to bed. Sirius, though slightly drunk and belligerent, didn't fight with Remus as the boy practically dragged him up the stairs and into their dorm room. The party was finally starting to die down, and that was only because people were getting so drunk that they couldn't stand up to dance or do anything else for that matter, so they ended up on the floor.

"Moony..." Sirius whined as he fell back onto the bed. "Can you undress me? I'm so unbelievably tired."  
"Of course, Sirius." Remus rolled his eyes and smiled as he pulled his boyfriend's trainers from his feet.

Remus undressed Sirius and left him in his boxers, just as he normally slept, and then he stripped down. Remus pulled on pajama pants and got into bed with his boyfriend, who seemed to be fast asleep. Remus positioned himself so that he was curled around Sirius' sleeping form, and he nuzzled into the dark haired boy's neck.

"Moony..." Sirius groaned lightly.

"Mm?" Remus answered. He was just about asleep, and not really in the mood for a conversation.

"You're happy about moving in with me, right?" Remus felt Sirius' head turn to face him as he spoke.

"Of course." Remus' response was longer this time. "Why wouldn't I be?"  
"You just... You didn't seem very excited about moving in with me." Sirius' position had entirely changed now. He was laying on his side and facing Remus now. Remus, who was forced to move as well, was mirroring the other man's pose only his eyes were closed.

"I... I'm just scared." Remus admitted, to his own distaste. "What are we going to do during the moon? You can get a job easily, I'm a werewolf. You know how people are, I'll be lucky to be hired for something as lonely as a back-door job in Knockturn Alley." Remus sighed. As much as he wanted to dream about having a great and worry free life with Sirius, the reality of his lycanthropy set in quite nicely and ruined his future, just as it has ruined his past.

"Do you know how I got the flat?" Sirius asked. He was smiling, though Remus couldn't see it. "When my Uncle Alphard died he had left me all of his gold and worldly possessions. I used it to get the flat, and the one immediately next to it." Remus' eyes were now open. He couldn't believe that Sirius would go to such lengths for him. "And I also, payed for the flat for a full year, and there is plenty of money left over for what we may need."  
"Sirius..." Remus was breathless. He couldn't believe it. He had a future, with the man he loved and that loved him, and it was a great one none the less.

He shifted more closely to Sirius and kissed his lips softly. The dark haired boy pulled Remus on top of him and held him closer than he had before. Sirius pushed Remus back so that the boy was straddling his hips. Sirius pulled his own shirt off and began to caress Remus' stomach and chest.

Remus rolled so that he lay next to Sirius once more and began to pull his pajama pants down so that he was just in his boxers. Sirius smirked at the slighter boy and rolled so that he hovered over Remus, their chests barely touching. Sirius lowered himself slowly so that he was pressed against Remus, but not putting very much weight on him. He felt the boy shift underneath him to get used to the weight.

"I love you, Remus." Sirius smiled dumbly.

"I love you too, Sirius." Remus smiled and kissed Sirius' lips.

The bed creaked, sighs and gasps could be heard coming from the bed they were in, and completeley raw moans and words emited from the bed. Peter heard it all. He had chosen to try and bed a young Gryffindor girl, but failed miserably and instead he just went to bed himself. Not an hour later did Sirius and Remus come up and do whatever it is that they were doing now, free of silencing spells and locking charms. He heard it all, every moan gasp and profanity uttered that night.

It only made him hate them more. He hated that they had one another, that they could be together and it not be a one time thing—like most of Peter's excursions were. Sirius and Remus had each other, James had Lily, and Peter had himself. His goal, which he set in their first year, was to find some girl to love and love him back. His plan failed, he found a few who would love him for a night then leave for good.

Soon, this loneliness would end. He found a group of people whom he felt in tune with. They followed Voldemort, and did what they wanted. This appealed to Peter. What freedom did he have now? What do to, but only at certain times and if certain people approved? No, not anymore. He was Peter Fucking Pettigrew, and he was going to make something of himself, and no one, not even his 'friends', could stop him from making the best choice of his life.

He had found a future. One where he could be in charge of his life, where he wouldn't be stuck behind a desk or working a lame muggle job. He would be cleansing the wizarding world of the impurities that boar themselves deep within. Though Peter was new with the Death Eaters, he felt right at home with them. He saw that most of them came from backgrounds similar to his own, and that provided a comfort to Peter, a comfort that they accepted people like him that were new and not necessarily 'pure' themselves.

As soon as they were to graduate, Peter would be out of this mess and on with Voldemort. Peter would never try and convince his friends, he knew how they would be. Sirius came from a background that supported Voldemort, and he hated them. Remus was bitten by a dark creature and hated that, so he was out as well. James was the king of them all, he hated the ideals that the Dark Lord had, and would never fall into that. Lily, if he were to count her as a friend, would never in a million years come to Voldemort's side. When Severus had called her a 'mudblood' she was outright enraged, and since then has not spoken to him. Peter couldn't risk that kind of explosion.

Finally, at what seemed like five am, Sirius and Remus quieted down and Peter was finally able to fall asleep. Then, around noon, he had awoken. He hadn't heard James come into the dorm last night, so he assumed that the boy was still down in the common room. Oh Merlin... The common room. That had to be trashed. Beyond trashed. By now it was probably unrecognizable as the common room, or as a room at all.

Peter got up and out of bed, he saw that Sirius and Remus were up as well because both of their beds were empty, as was James'. He heard Sirius and Remus talking in the bathroom and decided to just dress and head down stairs.

"Hey, Wormy." Sirius called as he crossed the room. He was completely dressed and looking as chipper as ever.

"Oh, hey Padfoot. Have you been downstairs at all, yet?" Peter asked as he slipped into his trainers.

"No, I haven't. Neither has Remus." Sirius pointed his thumb back at the bathroom and nodded. "We assume it's a right wreck though. Reckon McGonagall will be mad?"

"Oh, you know it." Peter smiled and stood. "Do you want me to wait for you guys?"

"Sure, if you want." Sirius shrugged and sat on the bed Peter was just sitting on.

"Alright." Peter nodded. Soon Remus exited the bathroom and the three headed downstairs to the common room. They braced themselves for the worst possible scene that any of them could imagine.

It wasn't as bad as they had expected... There was garbage all over everything, but there were far less people scattered than they thought. Apparently, McGonagall had been here early to at least clean up the people that should have been littering the entire common room.

On a desk, that wasn't completely covered in bottles cups or other forms of trash, was a note. A howler specifically. Sirius' eyes went wide and backed up from it. He was not in need of a howler.

"It's for you, Wormtail." He glanced at Peter before walking away entirely. Peter just sighed and opened the letter.

"I can't believe you students would have such a massive party and destroy the house like this! I will be taking twenty points from everyone in Gryffindor house for this atrocity! Everyone has been sorted and either sent to bed or to the hospital wing to be taken care of... I expect the room to be cleaned up by your graduation in two days." Minerva's voice boomed through the common room, and as soon as the letter was finished screaming it immediately burst into flames and dissipated into a pile of ash on the desk.

"Well then, I suppose we just leave then?" Sirius smirked as he strode towards the door.

"Sirius..." Remus called to scold the boy for not heeding McGonagall's command to clean the common room.

"We should go and see how James is anyway." Sirius cut in before Remus could argue, and it worked.

The three headed downstairs towards the hospital wing and entered. Most every bed was taken up, and Madame Pomfrey was buzzing around providing aid to whomever needed it at the moment—which seemed like everyone.

"Can we see James please?" Remus asked calmly as she passed. She just pointed in the general direction that his bed would be in and the three set off that way.

"James?" Peter whisper called as he glanced at the bodies in the beds. "Here he is."  
"James...?" Sirius' voice had taken on a whole new tone. He sounded concerned for his friend, and fearful of his health. "James, please wake up." He shook the boys shoulder lightly. "You've been sleeping for three days, and I... I just want you to wake up." A smirk etched into Sirius' face, showing his true intentions for his concerned tone.

"Wh...What?" James stirred lightly before completely waking up in a shock. "I've been...? But we were supposed to graduate!"  
"Shh." Remus calmed him immediately. "He's just kidding. You've only been out since last night, and we've just came to see you."  
"Merlin, Padfoot, you're a toerag, you know that?" James sounded angry, but he was smiling.

"I do." Sirius nodded cutely. "So, how are you feeling?"  
"I've been better... I've been worse." James just shrugged.

"Minnie is enraged about the little shindig we threw last night, you know. She left a howler for us." Sirius nodded sadly. "She said we have to clean the common room." James just laughed.

"What time is it, anyway?" James rubbed his eyes and looked at his friends. Their faces were blurry and he couldn't see the details of their features... Someone seriously needed to invent a spell to fix bad vision.

"It's about one in the afternoon. We were just about to head to the Great Hall for lunch." Peter looked at his watch.

"Oh, alright." James yawned. "I won't be going, I'm gonna laze around here for a little while and mooch off of Poppy." He winked and scooted back down into the bed before saying his goodbyes and falling asleep once more.

They left the hospital and went to get their lunch, which went quickly seeing as the majority of their house was on sick leave. There was a whopping ten people sitting at their table in lunch. Lily, Frank Longbottom, his girlfriend Alice, Celeste McDurmotte, Murdoch Davernack, and several others that the crew didn't recognize. They ate quickly and left to head back to the Gryffindor house common room, which they assumed still wasn't clean.

"How about we leave this to the others and head up to to the dorm for a little while?" Sirius said as they walked down the hall.

"What exactly are we going to do?" Remus asked. James was in the hospital wing with most of the other Gryffindors, and the rest were sleeping or in the Great Hall. Who could they possibly torment/hang out with?

"I don't know, Moonshine." Sirius shrugged. "What do you say, Peter?"  
"Nah, you guys go ahead. I reckon I'm going to get the common room somewhat cleaned up." He shrugged awkwardly.

"Suit yourself." Sirius shrugged back and headed up the stairs to the dorm room with Remus.

Peter didn't even want to think about what they were going to be doing and on who's bed, or chair or whatever. He hated them, and he really didn't give a fuck about hating them either. They deserved it.

They had it all... Sirius was fucking royalty, and Remus was a werewolf who could get a boyfriend. Where was the logic in that? There wasn't any. Most of his mates were afraid of growing up and facing the big, bad world, but Peter wasn't. The outside world meant freedom to him, not having to face the 'war' that was going on. He was already on Voldemort's side, so his war was already won.

These thoughts kept flowing through Peter's mind as he cleaned the common room in silence. He finished in a few hours and looked around. It looked better than before, but still not up to par. The walls still were bare and the banners have yet to be taken down, so things weren't perfect. Oh well, it was good enough.

Peter went on with daydreaming about his future as a Death Eater and how he would show his friends—and everyone—his worth. He would prove to them that he could stand up for himself, and that he was strong, and that he could do whatever he wanted without the pressure from his friends. He would show them all.

_**Author's Note:**_

_**Oh shit. Peter's going fucking crazy. Er, getting crazier anyway... Well, this is the last stage of the Marauder Era in this story, but don't fret, there will be more chapters. They just won't have to do with being at Hogwarts or anything like that, it'll be about the war and marriage and whatnot, so be ready for it. Anyhoo, the next update should be sometime next week [hopefully.].**_

_**On a side note, it's currently eleven twenty two at night and I have to be up and functional for work tomorrow at eight in the morning... See what I do for you? See what sacrifices I make so that you can read some totally hot guy on guy fanfiction? Haha, I'm kidding... But I do have work tomorrow, I just hate going to bed early because I'm never tired. Plus, even if I go to bed at twelve I still get the full eight hours of sleep in and I should be fine.**_

_**/irrelevant information is irrelevant.**_

_**-A.**_


	11. You Had Your Chance

_**Warning- The following story may or may not contain explicit slash between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Consider yourself warned...**_

_**Disclaimer- None of the characters you are about to read of belong to me. I am only using them for my sick and twisted enjoyment... And yours. Pervert.**_

"_You had your chance.  
Open arms reject assuming hands.  
You had your chance.  
Open arms reject assuming hands."_

_Taken from the song 'Spin' by Taking Back Sunday._

It had been years since all of the Marauders had been together in one place at the same time... And this time, a very special occasion, was no different than the last time they were together. Though it was James and Lily's wedding, all four of them were playing pranks on random guests [mostly Lily's mother, James soon-to-be Mother in Law].

"Shh." Sirius hissed at James as he hovered a small paper ball over his soon-to-be Mother in Law's head.

"Just drop it already..." Remus urged. He rarely joined in this sort of fun, but picking on the in-laws was too much fun to pass up.

And so James did. The small paper ball hit the woman in the head and she looked around, very very confused. She then made a face as if she came to the conclusion she was crazy, albeit she wasn't. In fact, she was quite sane and James had enjoyed her company, but the lure of a prank was too much for him to resist.

"James?" He heard Lily call.

"Oh, hello Lily." James kissed her chastely. "Fancy meeting you, here." James winked.

"Cute, James." Lily rolled her eyes and smiled at the man. "The ceremony will be starting soon, we need to get ready."  
"Alright." James nodded and looked back at his friends. "You guys need to get in position."

"Will do." Remus said as he took Sirius' arm and lead him to where they were supposed to be standing. Peter followed, he was completely ignorant as to what to do at a wedding. He's never attended one, and he had no idea what he was supposed to be doing.

After everyone stood where they were supposed to, and the music began, James watched as Lily walked down the aisle. She was stunning. She was beyond stunning, she was the most beautiful woman James has ever had the fortune of meeting, or even being able to look at. She walked down the aisle gracefully, she was smiling more widely than he has ever seen her smile and she had a few tears running down her face, but the magic she used to keep her makeup intact was working rather well.

The ceremony was beautiful, Severus thought. Of course he wasn't watching with the same vantage point of most of the guests, but from behind the high gothic style fencing that surrounded the small area where the wedding took place, the whole thing was amazing. Sure, Lily had invited him [and she probably never told James about it.] but he knew that going would result in turmoil.

He had had his chance with Lily, and he fucked it up. He regretted it, in a way... He loved her, and always would no matter what, but his views were different than hers. Although he was working under Voldemort, he still asked him for her protection, and he granted it. He asked for protection of only her and whatever children she may bear.

Severus stayed for the whole shebang, until James and Lily kissed... He watched, but rued every moment of it. It should have been him, and very well could have, if he hadn't fucked it up with calling her a 'mudblood.' Things from there on out had gone downhill between he and Lily. He had only himself to blame for this... He had chosen his future, and it was with Lord Voldemort, just as Lily chose her's with James. He hated the thought of her being 'Mrs. James Potter,' or 'Mrs. Lily Potter' or some variation of the sort.

The matrimony was over quickly, and with that Severus left. He was unsure of what he thought of whole ordeal. He loved Lily, but hated James. He was glad that she could find happiness, but it was with the scum that was James Potter. He thought that the wedding was beautiful, as was Lily, but the entirely wrong person was at the front with her. It should have been him, Severus, not James. He felt sick, and hated both of them. Her for denying him, and James for being such an insolent toe rag.

"I'm so happy." Lily smiled and kissed James on the lips as they danced for the first time as husband and wife.

"I'm happy that you're happy." James kissed her back. The reception was going well and everyone was standing and watching as the pair danced. The music played softly. It was a slow song from whatever wizard band that had booked to play here tonight. The song was slow and the melody was very elegant, it was just as they wanted. Nothing could be more perfect than this very moment.

"Do you think anyone notices that I'm showing?" Lily laughed as she asked. She was barely three months pregnant, and not even close to showing.

"Oh, no. You're hardly showing at all." James whispered to her and smiled happily.

The song ended and the broke apart. Then the partying began... Sirius, Remus, Peter, James and about every other guy in the room took his turn dancing with Lily that night. Sirius even took a dance with James, which earned very many cat calls and wolf whistles, to which Sirius would ask Remus "Is Moony acting up? The full moon isn't for a few weeks."

"I'm so happy for you two." Remus told Lily as they danced together.

"Thank you, Remus." She smiled warmly at the man. "It's a shame that the laws don't allow you and Sirius to wed."  
"I know. There are many laws like that..." Remus shook his head. "Discriminatory, I mean." Just like Remus, Lily knew about discrimination. She wasn't a pureblood, and for that she was looked down upon by many in the magical community. Some would go as far as to say because she is a muggle born she isn't as qualified to perform magic nor even be able to live in a predominantly wizard inhabited town or neighborhood. No matter how you look at it, it was all some form of racism.

It was odd to think about, racism. It was close minded, a way of demeaning others, and cruel... These were the very things that wizards and witches looked down on the muggles for doing, yet the acted the very same way, only it was considered justifiable by law. The muggles used race, gender, sexual orientation, ethnic background, religion and any other thing they could to nitpick at one another and for that they were considered ignorant and beastlike by the magically inclined. Oddly enough, those very same people saw other wizards or witches who were gay, or not pureblooded enough, or anything really and discriminated against them. Were they really any different?

"I wonder if there is a specific marriage restriction for werewolves?" Lily pondered.

"There is." Remus sighed. "It's that we're not supposed to... It's looked down upon very much."

"Hm." Lily sighed. She truly felt bad for Remus and Sirius. They've been together for as long as she can remember, and she can remember back to a time where she and James weren't even dating. They loved one another, if not more than themselves, and their love was no different than her's and James'.

"Hey lady, you have a man, stop trying to steal mine." Sirius winked as he walked up to Remus and Lily. "May I cut in?" He asked cheekily.

"Oh, well pardon me." She laughed and let Remus go to dance with Sirius.

"Having affairs already, my dear Lily-Flower?" James slid his arm around his new wife's waist and pulled her close. "And with my dear Moony. He's gay you know, and in a committed relationship. Tsk, tsk Lily Potter."

"I'm so sorry, I just can't help my infatuation with the man." She placed her hand on her chest and sighed sarcastically.

"I don't blame you. I can't even resist him." Sirius and Remus danced up to where James and Lily stood. "He's dead fucking sexy, James."

"Oi." James' eyes became wide. He didn't really know how to respond to this. He had gotten used to Sirius' references to Remus' being sexy and all that, but never has he heard Sirius direct the comments to Lily. He was surprised, amused yes, but also surprised.

"Oh he is, James, I can't resist his immense sex appeal." She sniggered before pivoting so that she stood in front of James and they began to dance once more.

"Well it's too late now, Lily. You've already married me and it seems that Remus is a bit busy with Sirius." James looked over at Sirius and Remus, and sure enough they were dancing very closely and slowly, their lips mere inches from each other, and both of them were smiling as they looked into one another's eyes.

"I suppose you're right..." Lily shrugged. "I guess I'm stuck with you." Which was true. As much as she wanted to think that Severus was going to change, she knew that he wouldn't. She knew that he would always be a Death Eater and it would stay that way. She loved him, but she also loved James, and James was the one that she chose.

"You're right, you're stuck with me forever and always Lily." He kissed her softly on the lips.

"Until death do we part." She kissed him back.

_**Author's Note:**_

_** Shortest. Chapter. Ever. No lie, this took me like an hour to type out completely, plus revisions. I'm sorry it's so short, but it has a lot of information. My 4th grade teacher once told me 'The report has to be like a girls skirt. Long enough to cover all the facts, but short enough to still be interesting.' Yeah, looking back on that, him telling a bunch of 4th graders was probably illegal in some way, but whatever. Shit happens... And possibly scarring children mentally falls into that category.**_


	12. There's No Stopping Me

_**Warning- The following story may or may not contain explicit slash between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Consider yourself warned...**_

_**Disclaimer- None of the characters you are about to read of belong to me. I am only using them for my sick and twisted enjoyment... And yours. Pervert.**_

"_There's no stopping me.  
I'm gunning you down.  
There's no stopping this...  
I'm gunning you down."_

_Taken from the song 'I'll Let You Live' by Taking Back Sunday._

The night was beautiful, not a cloud in the sky and the moon shown clearly. Though it was not a full moon, it still made Remus nervous, just as it always had. Lily was putting Harry to bed and was singing to him as she rocked him to sleep. He was dozing lightly when she put him in his crib and walked out slowly.

James was sitting on the downstairs couch reading the Daily Prophet and frowning slightly as he read what was written. There were stories of mass muggle killings, and attacks on random wizards and witches all over the world. It was sickening, and what was worse yet was that the Ministry was doing nothing.

"I can't believe this..." James scowled. "It's disgusting."

"I know." Lily sighed as she sat next to her husband.

"Thankfully the Order hasn't taken a devastating hit yet, or things would be far worse." James shook his head and folded up the newspaper. He set it on the coffee table and held Lily closely.

"I'm worried, James." She looked up at him. "I'm worried about Harry and his future. Things don't seem to be getting better, I don't want him caught up in this."

"I know, Lily." James smiled sadly. "He won't be. He's a strong boy. He's got your fighting spirit, he'll make it out there. He'll do great things, I can feel it in my soul."

"Don't forget your amazing wit, James. He also has that." She laughed lightly as she tried to lighten the mood.

"Peter and Sirius said that they may be over later." James changed the subject. "It's getting late though, so they may not make it." Just as he finished his sentence the doorbell rang. James nodded to Lily and stood curtly to answer the door. She went into the kitchen to prepare tea for the guest as James let Peter and Sirius into the house.

She heard the door open, and there was silence. Then she heard her husband, James, scream her name. She ran to the hallway from where she could see the front door, and saw Lord Voldemort standing over her dead husband. She froze. Time froze. Everything was in slow motion and seemed almost surreal.

Lily was screaming, but she was also moving. Within seconds she found herself at the top of the stairs and then in Harry's room. Her body, though small, was very strong and pushed as much furniture in front of Harry's door as possible. It did nothing but shatter as a spell blast through it all.

"No!" She screamed as she stood in front of Harry's crib. It was a meager attempt to protect him, but it was all she could do in her final moments

"Yes." Then the spell was cast. There wasn't a single falter in the man's voice. He's done this before.

Voldemort killed her without a thought, and she fell to the ground lifelessly just as James did. Harry was awake and completely alert. He wasn't crying, just looking around at the massacre. Furniture lay everywhere in bits and pieces. It was odd to see it this way, normally everything was clean and tidy. He looked up and saw a tall man, who looked older than his father.

"Dada...?" Harry called out expectantly.

Voldemort's scowl grew even harsher. He hated this boy, and there was nothing that would change that. He pointed his wand and aimed at Harry's forehead to just between his eyes. Voldemort's own eyes narrowed and the corner's of his mouth curved up into a wicked smile. He had won.

_**Author's Note:**_

_** Holy Jesus. Talk about the shortest chapter ever? Christ, it's like I'm putting out drabbles or something... But really they're just mini chapters. So that makes like two updates this week then, yeah? Wow. It doesn't even feel like I'm typing anything really. This whole thing took me like 15 minutes in all. I'm sorry I'm putting out such obnoxiously short chapters, but they're easier this way, and I sweeaaarr the next one will be longer [even though I promised the same thing in the A/N in my last chapter.].**_


	13. C'est la Manie

_**Warning- The following story may or may not contain explicit slash between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Consider yourself warned...**_

_**Disclaimer- None of the characters you are about to read of belong to me. I am only using them for my sick and twisted enjoyment... And yours. Pervert.**_

"_C'est la manie._ _C'est la manie."_

_Taken from the song '__Noir Désir__' by Vive la Fête._

Remus lay on the floor of the kitchen. He was naked and he felt the tingle of pain permeate through his body... He looked out the window and saw the full moon show through from behind the clouds. He felt his skin tear, his bones break and he heard his screams echo through his ears as they bounced off the walls of the flat. Sirius knew what night it was, why hadn't he come home?

The transformation was rough, Remus could tell that much. His entire body ached, he was covered in scratches, bites, and bruises. This had been the worst transformation since their fifth year. Though it was a rough night, Sirius obviously came home. Remus was laying in bed, fully bandaged and slightly medicated. He sat up, slowly, and eased out of bed.

"Sirius...?" Remus called. His voice was hoarse from the howling/screaming from the night before.

There was no response, though he heard noise coming from the kitchen. Remus stood and slowly walked out of the bedroom and down the short hallway towards the kitchen/dining room of the flat. He peered around the corner and saw not Sirius, but Albus Dumbledore standing in the kitchen making tea.

"Albus?" Remus asked, the confusion obvious in his voice.

"Hello Remus." Albus sounded tired, but his tone was still patient. "You should sit, I've made tea."

"Thank you." Remus gladly accepted the cup of tea. "Why are you hear? Where is Sirius?"  
"There was an incident, Remus." Dumbledore sat as well. "Sirius, the Potter's secret keeper, had given their location to Lord Voldemort." The older man's voice was calm and his face stoic.

Remus dropped the cup and it fell to his lap, spilling boiling tea onto his legs, and finally the cup smashed against the hard wood floor. He didn't feel nor hear nor see any of it. He was in shock and couldn't even fathom what he had just heard.

"W-what?" Remus stuttered. It was impossible. Sirius would never...

"There was talk of a traitor within the Order, and Sirius apparently was it. He gave the location of the Potter's to Lord Voldemort, and they were slain last night." Dumbledore repeated.

"No, no. Sirius wouldn't... He loved James, and he loved Lily. He especially loved Harry... Oh, Merlin. This can't be happening. This didn't happen. Oh god, oh god." Remus' hands knotted in his graying hair and his eyes were wide. He couldn't think. He couldn't breath.

"Harry's alive."

"He... He lived?" Remus' breathing returned. He felt relief wash over him. At least at the trial he wouldn't get three death's put on him. Remus immediately realized how sick this thought was. How dare he be happy that he would only be responsible for two deaths.

"Yes, he's with his aunt and uncle in Little Winging." Dumbledore nodded and sipped his tea.

"Does... Does Peter know? Oh god, poor Peter. He idolized James." Remus' breathing had quickened to near hyperventilation.

"I'm sorry, Remus." Dumbledore placed his hand on Remus' shoulder and looked him in the eyes. "Peter is dead too. Sirius, after knowing that the Potter's were dead, went and killed Peter Pettigrew. All that was left was his finger. Aside from the Potter's and Peter, more than a dozen muggles were killed. Sirius was taken from the scene laughing."  
Remus collapsed. Everything went black and when he came around, he was in the living room laying on the threadbare couch alone and cold. He grazed his hand over his thigh and winced... Then he remembered the spilled tea and that the previous night was the full moon.

Other than the physical pain he was feeling, Remus was numb. His ears were ringing, his face red and his eyes puffy from crying, and his body ached both with with the anger that coursed through his veins and the pain from the transformation. He had no idea what to do with himself. Where had Dumbledore gone?

_Remus,_

_I'm so terribly sorry I had to leave you._

_I have very important business to take care of, as you can imagine.  
I'm hoping for the best, which very well could be the worst._

_My dearest condolences,_

_Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore._

Remus read the note on the counter in the kitchen, and it saddened him. He was alone. All alone. Peter was dead, James was dead, Lily was dead, Sirius was... Worse? Could Azkaban be worse than death? He hoped. He wished that Sirius would suffer as much as any human could without dying. Remus, normally calm and very conservative with his thoughts, was wishing the most atrocious things to happen to Sirius for what he did. How dare he? How could he? They loved him. Remus had loved him. They all had loved him.

"Why...? Why, why why?" Remus slid down the wall in the kitchen and leaned his head back against it.

A small scratching noise came from the window and Remus saw that an owl, Sirius' owl, was perched outside on the sill and waiting to come in. Remus motioned with his hand for it to come in, and it did. Within it's pouch was a copy of the Daily Prophet.

The front cover has a large photo of Sirius' mugshot. He was screaming and holding a sign with his number/symbol/letter/something on it. The mere sight of him made Remus hate him more. Aside from the photo was an article about Voldemort, who had apparently 'died' that night. No one knew how, or when, or what caused it, but it happened. It seemed that the entire wizarding community was now obsessed with the little black haired boy that had his mother's green eyes, and how he had defeated one of the strongest dark wizards of all time.

He hated everyone that has ever lived and ever will at this very moment. He hated those who were happy, because they were happy. He hated the sad because what the fuck did they have to cry about? Remus was alone with no one, and they were sad? Remus hated himself for not seeing what Sirius really was. He hated Dumbledore for not looking into who was the traitor more. He hated Sirius for killing all those people, killing his friends, and leaving Harry in the same situation as Remus was right now. Alone, afraid, cold, and confused.

The bird cocked it's head and hooted at Remus then flew out. It knew that it didn't belong here... That Sirius wasn't here any longer. That he was on trial for what he did. Remus closed his eyes and breathed deeply. He couldn't deal with this. Not now, not ever. He wished that he could call on Lily to talk to, but Sirius took her. He wished that James would come by and cheer him up, but Sirius took him as well. He wished that Peter would be able to read his letter and not understand a single word of Remus' sarcastic humor and come off as completely ignorant but in a funny way, but Sirius took that from him. Lastly, Remus wished that Sirius would walk through the door and tell him that this is all a bad dream and that all Remus had to do is wake up, and he would be in Sirius arms. But this isn't a dream, this is real life. All the people that Remus loved and looked to for comfort when he needed it most were dead, and they were dead because of his best friend, because of his lover.

Remus looked around the kitchen. He had to find something to do before he went insane with grief. He stood quickly, too quickly. He fell back against the wall and yelped in pain before attempting to stand again. This time was a success. He stood and walked to where he remembered spilling his tea... The glass was all picked up and the floor cleaned, he would have to thank Dumbledore for that later.

Next, he walked to the sink and began to wash the dishes. He stood, scrubbing as harshly as he could. Yes, he could have used magic to clean the plates and pots etc but he'd rather do it this way for now. It took his mind off of the obvious. It gave him something different to concentrate on.

He finished the dishes, or rather a single plate, a fork, a tea cup and the kettle in a matter of fifteen minutes. Then Remus just stood there. He stood in front of the sink, leaning against the counter. The tears started slowly, but as soon as they started a deluge of tears started to pour down Remus' face. He was mumbling, and screaming, and crying all at once. He wanted Sirius to hold him and tell him it was all okay, but he couldn't. He was in jail.

Remus didn't only cry for his loss in the relationship, but he also lost everyone he held near and dear. He lost his truest friends, and he loved them more than they could have known, and now they were gone... How long would it be before he could even start to recover from this? It would take days, to weeks, to months, to years, to decades to possibly even more after that.

"I hate him..." Remus mumbled between sobs that shook his body. "I hate him. When he has his trial, I won't go. I don't want the last thing for him to see is me, he'd like that far too much."

Remus slumped against the counter and stared at the floor. He hated the floor. He picked his head up and looked around the room... He hated it. He hated everything about everything in this entire room, and even everything in the flat. It all reminded him of Sirius, or Lily, or James, or Peter. Though he was alone, Remus' thoughts went into something lighter momentarily... That Harry lived. He survived the attack. It wasn't good that it was what he had to survive, but he lived through it. The only upside that came from this entire catastrophe is that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is no longer in power... No one knows where he is, or how it happened, but he's gone and that's all that matters right now.

He stood slowly, and walked out of the kitchen and towards the bedroom. He wanted to sleep, just sleep forever and wake up to realize that this was all an awful dream and nothing bad had really happened. He couldn't sleep, though. The bed smelled like Sirius, the whole room did. The man never picked up his clothes and so the stink of dirty clothes and Sirius hung in the stagnant air of the small room.

As much as he hated the apartment, Remus knew that he couldn't afford another one... They made ends meet when Sirius was working, but now that it's just Remus who knows how things will be going. He'll eventually lose the apartment and be out of a job and out of a house. Thank god Sirius pays a few months in advance so that Remus wouldn't have to worry about the rent for at least a month or two.

He stood in the bedroom, staring at everything. It seemed so dirty now, instead of lived-in like before. It was just a cluttered mess rather than homely. Remus hated this too. He hated everything about the entire flat. He especially hated the bed. It was where he and Sirius slept, made love, sometimes had breakfast, talked, and just relaxed. Now it was the vacant space where the memories once resided.

Remus lower himself onto the bed slowly... He curled around Sirius' pillow and began to weep once more. He hated himself most of all. He hated himself more than anything in the room or the flat. Those were just things. They could get lost, or lose the musky scent of Sirius over time, they could be forgotten. Remus' love for Sirius could not. Though he may try, Remus wouldn't ever forget the gentleness that Sirius expressed when they were together. Though he may try, Remus couldn't ever find another person to take up his time and his love. Though he may try, Remus shouldn't even bother thinking of getting rid of the other man's things, he knew that he couldn't let go just like that.

_**Author's Note:**_

_** Back so soon? You bet your sweet ass I am. And, just as I promised, this chapter is longer than the other two! That takes me to three updates in one week. Oh my goodness, that's a lot of typing... Seriously though, that's a crazy amount. Don't expect another update until about next week at least. It may be later. The next chapter is going to be tricky and really important for the chapter following it as well.**_

_** Anyhoo, I hope you like this chapter, although it is relatively short and very angsty/emotional etc. Emotions have to happen eventually, no? In case any of your are wondering, the title for this means 'This is Mania' and I chose it to show the sheer craziness and confusion that took place after the deaths of James and Lily. The entire song is in French, and I have no idea what the rest means, but I at least know that part.**_

_**-A.**_


	14. I'm Not Your Friend

_**Warning- The following story may or may not contain explicit slash between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Consider yourself warned...**_

_**Disclaimer- None of the characters you are about to read of belong to me. I am only using them for my sick and twisted enjoyment... And yours. Pervert.**_

"_I'm not your friend,_

_I'm just a man who knows how to feel._

_I'm not your friend,_

_I'm not your lover,_

_I'm not your family..."_

_Take from the song 'Snowing Season (Yeah)' by Brand New._

It had been over a decade. Closer to a decade and a half than anything... Thirteen years. Sirius Orion Black had been waiting for his trial for thirteen years, eight months, and twelve days. He wasn't sure of the hours, but if he had a clock he would have known. He started the count the second he was shoved into the small cell. He remembered it clearly, only because it was one of his worst memories. He was screaming the entire time, begging to he beard out.

No one cared for him though. He was just another fucked up death eater that was spewing the same old things... That he was innocent and whatnot like that. They took a photo of him and physically thew him in a cell. It was no bigger than the shoebox of a bedroom at he and Remus' flat. In the cell was a small mattress on the floor, the one foot high by six inch wide window was barred, and on the wall was a small torch that was was burning but barely any light was cast from it. Sirius already hated it here...

He thought that it would have taken a few days, perhaps a few weeks, to get a trial in order for him. He was ignorant at that time. The longer he was in there, the more sad he became and more he realized that his trial would never be coming. And today, he still waits for it. Thirteen years, eight months, and twelve days. Each and every day, he would wake up and within a minute he would remember where he was and why he was there. His favorite part of the day was waking up. It was the end to his nightmares, and also the fact that he forgot he was in prison.

"Black." Called a guard. Rendelvo was his name. It was Sirius' most hated guard, and only because he hated Sirius. The guard once told him that it was because he was a Black that he hated him. Apparently Sirius' father Orion had announced to some people at the Ministry that Rendelvo's father was a 'muggle lover.' Being this was looked down upon very harshly back then, and in turn Rendelvo's father was fired.

"Yeah?" Sirius called back hoarsely. He lean against the back wall and sighed.

"You have a visitor." Rendelvo said back. "He says his name is Ray-muss." Rendelvo slaughtered Remus' name horribly, but Sirius could still tell what he had said.

The guard tapped the tip of his wand against one of the bars of the cell and it immediately opened. It slammed behind Remus as he stepped inside. The stench of dirt, feces, sweat and fear invaded his senses the second he walked inside the small cell. His heightened senses had proven to be a fault in this case. He knew that this smell would stay with him for as long as he shall live.

Rendelvo told Remus that if he wanted to leave at any time, he could just grab the bar and it would let him out. He also mentioned that Sirius was free to wander, and he should be weary of this considering how dangerous the man was.

"Remus...?" Sirius called from the back of the cell where he sat. His voice was barely a whisper. "Moony, is that you?" He called again when Remus didn't answer. "Hello Sirius." Remus ignored the nickname that was bestowed upon him in his childhood years.

"Why..." Sirius stood up and walked to greet his long lost friend, his long lost lover. "Why are you...?"  
"I'm here, not on business, but my own accord." This made Sirius feel slightly better about what this was about. Perhaps Remus had missed him. "I want to know why."

"Why what?" Sirius stepped out of the shadows and into the more well light part of the cell. Remus had finally gotten a good look at Sirius. The years were not good to him. His hair was matted, dirty, and had grown down to his elbows. His skin was pale and waxy, his teeth were nearly all yellow and his body was a mere shell of what it once was. This wasn't the Sirius he knew, or thought he knew.

"Why you killed all of our friends." Remus' tone was flat and bore no emotion. "Tell me."  
"I didn't kill them..." Sirius started. "Peter did."

"That's a lie and you know it, Sirius." Remus' tone sharpened immediately at the mention of it being Peter's fault. Sirius never liked Peter, so his passing of the blame was nothing he hadn't expected. "It's not." Sirius stepped closer to Remus.

"Peter and I switched. He was the secret keeper, Remus. I decided it would be better. I assumed that Voldemort would come after me because of my family, but I was wrong. He chose Peter. I reckon it's because he's weak and a coward. He's willing to do whatever someone tells him." Sirius shrugged and leaned against the wall then slid down it so that he was seated on the floor.

Remus joined him on the floor, setting today's issue of The Daily Prophet down next to him. Sirius eyed it then turned his attention back to Remus. No matter how much the rest of his body had changed, Sirius' eyes were still the same piercing gray that could delve deeply into any person.

"That's not true." Remus' tone still sounded sure. "All that was left of Peter was a finger, and what about those muggles?"

"You remember that Peter is an animagus, right? An unregistered one..." Sirius scoffed. He had told this story multiple times, and every person asked the same questions, and every time he'd give the same answers. Either way, they didn't believe him.

"So? That doesn't mean he can't die." Remus snapped back.

"That does mean that he can transform and flee into the sewers with the other rats." Sirius shrugged. "What about his finger? And the muggles?" Remus leaned in to look at Sirius more closely.

"He cut it off and left it there. As for the muggles, he probably sent a hex or something and killed them all before changing." Sirius leaned in as well. He hated that Remus was questioning him like this. Yes, he was considered a criminal, but that didn't mean he could be interrogated by his ex-best mate.

"That is completely implausible and you know it." Remus was nearly yelling. "Just tell me why you did it."  
"What makes you so interested now?" Sirius shot back. He, on the other hand, was yelling.

"It's been eating me up inside for years." Remus sighed. He hated talking to Sirius. No matter what Sirius asked, Remus would answer him.

"So you come now? Why not five years ago or right after it happened?" Sirius cocked a brow. "Because..." Remus closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair. "I have a job now. I'll be seeing James and Lily's son. I want to be able to answer his questions of why it happened."

"Oh, aren't you just self sufficient, Moony." Sirius rolled his eyes.  
"I hate you." Remus spat. "And don't call me Moony."

"Well, I love you." Sirius responded curtly. "And I'll call you whatever I like."

"I hate the way you disregard rules, I hate the way you lied to everyone, I hate the way you took everyone from me, I hate how your eyes seem to penetrate the very depths of my mind, I hate how even when talking about your killings you are nonchalant and sarcastic. Most of all..." Remus leaned in far enough so that he was only a mere few inches from Sirius' face. "I hate that I'm in love with you."  
"Like I said before, I love you." Sirius pushed Remus away from him. He pushed Remus hard enough so that the man not only moved away but fell backwards and landed on his back. Sirius shimmied up Remus' body and hovered over him.

"I love how you take so long to do things, I love how you think it all through, I love how you use rather large words to get your point across, I love how you can do whatever you need to survive, I love how you're more interested in answering other people's questions than your own and you'd be willing to go see your estranged lover while he is in prison to get the answers for said questions."

Remus just stared up at the emaciated man. No longer was Remus the slighter man of the two, he could easily overpower Sirius if he wanted, and right then and there he wanted to. So he pushed Sirius back and rolled himself so that Sirius was underneath and Remus was on top.

"I don't care what you love about me, I don't care. I hate you." Remus pulled back and struck Sirius once, twice then three times in the face.

"Don't you remember...?" Sirius turned and spat blood. Remus had given Sirius a bloody nose and it was running into his mouth.

"Remember what?" Remus snapped, although he felt bad for hurting Sirius so much.

"When we were young... I went to your house over the one holiday break. Over that break was the first time I told you that I loved you, and here we are thirty odd years later and I'm doing the same thing. Only this time, you aren't telling me that you love me, and why." Sirius looked away from Remus and sighed. "In fact, you're doing the complete opposite... You're telling me that you hate me and why." Sirius laughed sadly. Remus moved off of him and let the man sit up.

Sirius moved away from Remus and even though his face was shadowed, Remus could see the tears streaming down his dirty face. He wanted to move towards Sirius and comfort him, but didn't. He had to remember that that monster wasn't Sirius, it was the man that killed his friends and there was nothing that could change it.

"I remember that..." Remus whispered.

"Be careful if it's a good memory. The Dementors strive on good thoughts, and if you're having a good thought they'll come right in and take it." Sirius sighed and wiped the tears from his face.

"Merlin..." Remus gasped slightly.

"Merlin can't help you here." Sirius whispered. "No one can help you here." Remus and Sirius sat in silence for a long while, before Remus couldn't bear the fact that he was around the monster that killed his friends. He stood up and picked up his newspaper from the ground. He watched as Sirius watched him.

"Can I have that newspaper, please Moony?" Sirius was pathetic.

"Don't call me Moony." Remus said as he reached out for the bars to be released from the cell.

"I'm sorry." Sirius huffed. Though Remus told him not to call him by the childhood nickname, he couldn't help himself. "Can I have the newspaper, _Remus_?"

"Why would you want it?" Remus snapped back at him. Why did Sirius deserve anything like news from the outside world?  
"So I can see what's going on out there. I'm in a massive stone prison, on an uncharted island in the middle of an ocean. What could I possibly know?" Sirius stood up and stood closely to Remus.

"You don't deserve knowledge." Remus growled at him.

"Then what do I deserve? Huh?" Sirius growled back. "Do I deserve to have my ex-best-mate-slash-lover to show up and interview me about something that I didn't do? Do I deserve to be treated like a lesser human being because of the blood in my veins? Do I deserve to not see you for over a decade and have it hurt so badly, and now that I do see you I don't know whether to laugh or cry? Is that what I get?" Sirius was yelling at Remus now.

"Shut up! Shut up! You get all you deserve. You killed your best friends, you killed what we had, you killed those people. I hope you rot in here forever, Sirius." Remus was shouting.

"I told you, I didn't fucking kill them! Peter did! Peter Pettigrew is alive and he killed James and Lily." "I don't even know why I came here." Remus glared at Sirius and turned around to reach for the bars once more.

"I don't know why you came here either..." Sirius whispered as he stood as well. Sirius, taking the opportunity to snatch the issue of The Daily Prophet from Remus' hands, had done so. Remus spun to face him immediately.

He wasn't greeted with a wicked grin, he wasn't greeted with anything really. As soon as Sirius got his hands on the newspaper, he was reading it immediately. He found out that it was a Tuesday, that there was a new type of key that automatically conformed to the shape of the lock, making lock picking and robbery far easier... Why someone had invented that was just preposterous.

Remus was leaving, and Sirius was too engulfed in the magazine to notice. As Remus walked down the corridor towards the guard's desk many cat calls and wolf whistles were made at him. He kept his head down and his pace quick. There was no need to bring more attention to himself. The people in the cells were already doing that for him.

"All finished?" The guard asked as he opened the desk drawer and extracted Remus' wand.

"Yeah." Remus sighed and took the wand from the man.

"You'll need to sign out, please." The guard told Remus.

"Alright." Remus signed quickly and looked at the guard. He looked at what was written for the time he came in to the prison and the time it was now. He had been in Azkaban for more than two hours.

"Did you get what you wanted?" The guard asked as he reached into the locked chest behind him and extracted Remus' wand.

"I didn't even really know what I wanted." Remus sighed and looked at the floor.

Remus nodded to the guard and left. Luckily, he carried chocolate around with him most of the time, and he ate a large piece as soon as he exited the building. It made him feel better, although the eeriness of Azkaban prison hung in the air even outside of it's walls. He took a few steps away from the entrance of the prison and sat on a small bench. The bench looked to be about a thousand years old and looked to be dry rotting. Remus was thinking about what Sirius had said. As much as he loved Sirius and wanted to believe his innocence, he knew that the man was guilty of murder.

As Remus sat on the bench he thought of why Sirius could want the newspaper... Of course he wanted information, but what other purpose could it serve? Perhaps it earned him favors from the other inmates or something like that. To Remus, the newspaper was nearly useless once it got too old.

To Sirius it was a lifeline. It told him how the world was progressing and what the Prophet had to say about whatever was going on. He leaved through the pages and the stories became less and less important... He came across a story about dragons or something and the first thing he noticed was the picture. Sirius looked over all of the people's faces, until he came to the youngest looking son of the bunch. He recognized the father, Arthur Weasley. Then he saw it.

"Peter..." Sirius whispered aloud and smirked wickedly down at the page.

There was Peter Pettigrew, who was perched upon the smallest boy's shoulder. He was in rat form, obviously, he was still there. His physiqe hadn't changed at all. The rat was still fat and had tufts of hair coming from it's ears, only unlike when they were kids Wormtail was now missing a finger. He had to go find him, but how?

If the boy was anything like his father, he would be in Hogwarts and also in Gryffindor. That's how he would find Peter. He would leave this place, as Padfoot, to go find Peter and do what everyone assumed Sirius had done years ago. He would finally be free, and able to see Harry and Remus and do whatever he pleased as a free man. He would do this no matter what. That night, Sirius slept well. It was the first time in over a decade that he hadn't woken up with a start. His dreams were filled with him hunting down, and killing Peter Pettrigrew... Even the Dementors didn't know if this was good or bad, so their effects did nothing.

_**Author's Note:**_

___**-sigh- I've been doing a lot of typing, but I'm happy with it. This makes the fourth update this week, that's a lot even though two of the chapters were so short. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter and I hope you're looking forward to the next one since it should be coming relatively soon.**_

_**-A.**_


	15. Who's That Animal At The End Of The Day?

_**Warning- The following story may or may not contain explicit slash between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Consider yourself warned...**_

_**Disclaimer- None of the characters you are about to read of belong to me. I am only using them for my sick and twisted enjoyment... And yours. Pervert.**_

_Who is that animal at the end of the day?  
Sticking the lost as he sticks to his game.  
He's not a bird, he's not a plane.  
He looks like a human, he's in just the same as the rest of us._

_Taken from the song 'Animals' by Josiah Leming._

It was near to the end of his third year that Harry realized the seriousness of the situation. Sirius Black, mass murderer and Azkaban escapee, was hunting him down to kill just as Black had done to Harry's parents. It started with the crystal ball, and then the Fat Lady was attacked. Harry knew that Black was getting closer.

Now, he knew what he had to do. Sink or swim. Eat or be eaten. Kill or be killed. He stood in the shrieking shack, facing the monster that killed his parents. Harry's wand was drawn and pointed at Black. Ron was sitting on the old shabby bed while Hermione stood at Harry's side.

"Harry..." Black whispered.

Harry moved forward, his want mere inches from Black's chest. The pale, thin and dirty man just smiled. His gray eyes were twinkling menacingly and he started to laugh. Harry took the opportunity to grab the man and throw him to the floor. Black instantly stopped laughing and has an expression of fear and pain on his face.

"Go ahead, Harry. Kill me." Black laughed once more.

"With pleasure." Harry growled. This wasn't like him to retaliate with such ferocity, but his only other option was letting the man live and either kill Harry or escape once more.

"Expelliarmus!" Shouted a voice from the other room.

Professor Lupin entered the room just as Harry's wand hit the floor. Harry stood up and backed away to his friends. The three of them were cornered.

"Remus." Sirius smiled as he said this.

"Sirius." Remus offered his hand. "Finally, the flesh reflects the madness within." He pulled Sirius up and into a strong embrace.

"We can talk later." Sirius whispered into Remus' ear before he let go of the man.

The two men turned to face Harry, Hermione and Ron. Sirius was smiling wickedly and Remus looked anxious. He seemed to be afraid of something, but no one was sure of what.

"You were his friend!" Hermione finally shouted. "You betrayed him."  
"No, Hermione listen-" Remus started to explain.

"He's a werewolf, Harry." Hermione spoke over him.

"So, you've figured it out. You truly are the brightest witch of your age." Remus stepped forward, his wand at his side.

"You've been helping him?" Harry asked with anger.

"Listen, Harry..." Sirius spoke this time.

"No. You killed my parents." Harry's tone was desperate. "I have to kill you." He had no other options.

"No, Harry. Listen to him." Remus cut in.

"Peter Pettigrew is alive." Sirius uttered. "And he's right there." He pointed to Ron.

"I-I'm not Peter Pettigrew, I'm Ron!" He nearly yelped.

"Not you! The rat!" Sirius moved quickly and grabbed the rat right from Ron's shoulder.

"That's Scabbers! He's my rat! He was my brother's rat too." Ron reached out for him, but seeing as his leg was very injured, he couldn't get up.

"How long have you had him? Thirteen years? Curiously long life for a common garden rat, no?" Sirius placed the rat on the small table and pointed his wand at it.

The rat moved to run off of the table, every one of Sirius' spells missed it's target. The rat jumped from the table and made way for the door before Remus shot a spell and the rat changed from animal form to Peter Pettigrew.

Peter was as chubby as ever. The only thing that was thinner on him was his hair. His teeth were long like a rats, but dirty and rotting. His eyes were beady and darted around the room. He was nervous and looking for a way out. He was cornered... He was going to die.

"Sirius... Remus... My friends. Please, please. You have to understand." Peter pleaded and begged at the other man's feet.

"Can we please just kill him?" Sirius looked at Remus, who was staring daggers at Peter.

"Sirius, it's not fair to Harry. He should know." Remus said. He wasn't taking his eyes off of Peter.

"What should I know? You killed my parents, I should kill you!" Harry stepped towards the pair of men with his fists drawn. He was ready and willing to take out his Professor if that's what it came to.

"We can explain later, let's just kill him now." Sirius pointed the wand directly in between Peter's eyes.

"It's not fair to Harry, and you know that." Remus glanced from Sirius to Harry and back to Peter.

"I don't care." Sirius uttered as he aimed carefully and smirked wickedly.

"Well I do-" Remus shook his head at Sirius.

"Fine. Fine." Sirius nearly shouted.

"Fine." Remus sighed. "Harry, Sirius didn't kill your parents."

"Yes he did! The news paper said so." Harry was in disbelief.

"I thought so too, until I saw Peter Pettigrew's name on the map." Remus countered him.

"The map was lying." Harry shouted at his professor. "Just like you are now."

"The map never lies." Sirius cut in. "This is Peter Pettigrew. He was the one that deceived your parents, not I."

"He's right, Harry." Remus nodded. "Sirius never killed your parents, Peter did."

"I would never hurt James, or Lily, or you. You were like a son to me, and that's why James made me your Godfather." Sirius smiled sadly. Reliving happier times when you're in a situation like this is bound to make even the happiest person sad.

"I thought he revealed their whereabouts to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named as well, but now I know..."

"Can we kill him now Remus?" Sirius asked anxiously. Everyone in the room knew that Sirius was just waiting to execute the man that had sent him to prison for thirteen years.

"We should explain more to Harry." Remus said.

"He knows enough right now, we can explain more later." Sirius rolled his eyes.

"He has a right to know the whole story-" Remus started to say, but was interrupted.

"Expelliarmus!" Called a voice from the hall, just as before. Both Sirius' and Remus' wands flew from their hands and hit the hard wood floor.

A tall figure sauntered in from the hallway. His dark, greasy hair hung to his shoulders, his nose was hooked and his mouth was shaped into a perpetual scowl. It was Severus Snape, and he looked just as happy as ever.

"Snivellus?" Sirius scoffed.

"Bickering like an old married couple..." Snape 'tsk'ed at them and shook his head.

"Why don't you go back to your chemistry set, eh Snivelly?" Sirius stepped closer to the man.

"You're lucky I don't kill you here, but the Dementors would surely miss having the opportunity..." Sirius shrunk away at the mention of the Dementors. "Oh, you don't like that do you?" Snape sneered at the man.

"I'm innocent." Sirius uttered fearfully. He and Snape were ferocious childhood enemies, and now Sirius was at the mercy of the other man.

"That's what they all say..." Snape frowned once more. "...Especially when faced with a Dementor's kiss. They say that it's almost unbearable to witness, but I think I'll manage."

Snape ordered Harry and Sirius to help carry Ron down the stairs and out of the tunnel to the shrieking shack. He would watch over Hermione, Lupin and Peter himself. The group walked down the tunnel together. Ron whimpered every so often as his leg hung.

"I'm sorry about your leg. I was going for the rat you know." Sirius smiled sheepishly at Ron. "I normally have a great disposition as a dog. James suggested, more than once, that I make the change permanent. The tail I could deal with, but the fleas were murder."

Ron just whimpered more as they headed down the tunnel and finally made it out. They all waited outside of the Whomping Willow. Sirius left Ron and Harry and walked to an open area to look at the castle. Harry looked at Ron and looked at Sirius... Hermione came through the hole in the ground and motioned Harry to talk to Sirius as she sat down with Ron.

"Beautiful isn't it?" Sirius laughed halfheartedly. "Some day I'll be able to walk through the halls as a free man..." He just smiled. "You know, I was thinking. When I get settled down and all of this is done with, would you want to move in with me? Only if you want of course, I'd understand if you'd want to stay with your aunt and uncle. It's just, I was wondering and-" Sirius sighed as his words spilled from his mouth.

"Are you kidding me?" Harry's face light up. "I'd love to move in with you. I can't stand the Dursleys."

"G-great." Sirius' face light up as well. "I'm glad to hear that."

They walked back to the tree together and saw that Snape, Lupin and Peter all standing near the tree. Snape was talking to Ron and Hermione and Remus was guarding Peter. Sirius looked at the clouds. He was the first to notice the full moon.

"Remus!" Sirius yelled as he ran to his friend, who's face was contorting in pain. His wand hit the ground as his body twisted.

"What's wrong with Lupin?" Ron asked.

"He's a werewolf and tonight is the full moon." Hermione's eyes were wide and her face was fear stricken.

"Remus, this is only flesh." Sirius was poking Remus in the chest and trying to calm him as he moaned and shrieked in pain. "The real Remus is in here, in your heart."

Lupin just continued to shriek in pain and he fell to the ground. Peter saw this happening and reached out for the dropped wand. Harry cast the 'expelliarmus' spell and it immediately dropped. Peter, having another ace up his sleeve, turned to Harry with a wicked grin on his face changed into a rat and ran into the near by fields. He was gone, they would never find him. Sirius would go right back to Azkaban, but that didn't mean that they shouldn't fight for him now.

By this time, Remus was a full fledged werewolf and was stalking over to where Harry, Hermione and Ron were placed. Snape practically threw himself in front of the three pupils and pointed his wand at the great beast. Sirius, now Padfoot, launched at the werewolf and brought the beast's attention elsewhere.

The werewolf chased the black dog, and caught up to it no problem. He picked up the rather large dog and threw him, and the dog hit a boulder near the field that Wormtail had just ran into. Harry gasped as he heard the dog whimper in pain.

"Lupin is going to kill him!" Hermione gasped as the black dog yelped in pain once more.

"I have to help." Harry uttered quietly as he ran forward, Hermione followed as she left Ron and Snape in their dust.

"Harry, wait!" Hermione called "If he bites you, you'll become a werewolf too!"

Harry grabbed the nearest rock and threw it at the back of the werewolf's head, which made it turn around quickly and snarl at the two teens. Hermione's eyes were wide, Harry's sharp with determination.

"Aaawooo!" Came a howl from somewhere in the Forbidden Forest.

Thankfully the werewolf ran to the noise rather than attacking the humans. Harry ran over to find the black dog, which was now Sirius once more. The older man got up and stumbled down the hill and into the fields after the werewolf.

Harry followed his Godfather down the hill and finally caught up to him by a small lake. Sirius was laying by the water's edge, his eyes were closed and his body was motionless. He seemed to be dead. As Harry neared he saw that the man was breathing, so not all hope of the man living through the night was lost. The Dementor's neared, and they were in large numbers.

"Expecto Patronum!" Harry bellowed as a ray of white light beamed from his wand and chased some of the Dementors away. It was nearly useless as the Dementors pressed on and sucked the happiness not only from Harry but the already dying Sirius Black.

Several Dementors had passed, and finally Sirius died. His soul floated in front of his chest and many Dementors were just waiting to swoop down and take it. Sirius' fate was sealed. Harry fell to the ground, defenseless and forlorn. He watched as the dark and hooded figures neared to take the man's soul. Instead, he saw a white figure across the lake. It looked almost like a deer, but different. A stag, possibly? Yes, a stag. It was his father's animagus form. There was a figure standing behind it, a human one. It had the same physic of Harry, and same face and everything. It was James. James Potter was there, across the lake, casting his Patronus against the Dementors and driving them from taking Sirius' soul.

That is all he remembers seeing before passing out. He later awoke in the hospital wing. His face hurt a little where he fell earlier in the day. Or was it the night prior? He didn't really know. Harry looked around the room and saw Hermione sitting at Ron's bedside. They were talking and then Ron finally saw that Harry was awake.

"They're going to kill him, Harry." Hermione said in a soft and sad tone. "They captured him and put him somewhere in the school."  
"Oh... Oh Merlin." Harry goes to run out of the wing to go find and save the only tie he has to his father.

"Oh, hello Harry." Dumbledore says cheerfully as he enters just as Harry was about to leave.

"Sir, you have to stop them..." Harry was exasperated. His mind was going a mile a minute as a deluge of words spilled from his mouth.

"Harry, Harry, calm down." Dumbledore was irritatingly calm, and his attempts to quell Harry only added to the annoyance.

"Harry's right." Ron called from his bed. His leg was up in a cast and he was groggy from the medicine, but at least he was coherent. "Sirius is innocent..."

"Really?" Dumbledore walked over to Ron and looked at him with a serious look on his face.

"Yes, Sir." Hermione interjected. "You have to believe us."

"I do." Dumbledore nodded. "But I doubt three teenagers and an old man could convince the heads of the Ministry since you have almost no proof."

"But we have to." Harry ran his fingers through his hair and paced the room.  
"Let me just say that that door was unlocked and I will be locking it on my way out." Dumbledore walked over to Hermione. "I think three turns will do it, Miss Granger."

"What does he mean by three turns...?" Harry gave Hermione an odd look.

"This." Hermione pulled the time turner from her shirt and strung the chain around Harry as well. "It's a time turner. It's how I've been getting to all of my classes... You can go back in time with it. The ministry keeps a close eye on things like this, and we mustn't get caught or the affects could be catastrophic." She looked at Harry one final time before spinning the time turner once, twice, three times. The thrice spun Time Turner began to spin quickly and Harry looked around him as he saw the sun go back into the sky and time go backwards.

"That was crazy." Harry said as he looked around the hospital wing.

"Where were we at seven this morning?" Hermione asked as she half ran from the room, Harry followed.

"We were heading to Hagrid's cabin, I think." Harry caught up to her as she ran down the stairs and outside.

They ran to the hill leading down to Hagrid's cabin and waited there. Hermione heard her past self, past Ron and past Harry coming down the corridor to the hill and made sure that she and Harry were hidden. They watched as Hermione hit Draco in the face, the pair followed their past selves head down to Hagrid's hut to console him.

Harry and Hermione hid behind the patch of pumpkins and watched as their past selves conversed with Hagrid. Hermione saw the minster coming, as well as the executioner. As soon as she got the attention of their past selves they went to hide in the woods.

"Let's get him, now." Harry went to run out of the woods, but Hermione stopped him.

"No, they have to see that he's there first or they'll think Hagrid set him free." Hermione explained as she waited for her past self, past Harry and past Ron to leave from behind the pumpkins.

They finally left and then the to sprung into action. Hermione coaxed Buckbeak up with the dead ferrets and rats that she knew he loved. He followed her quite quickly and without complaint into the woods just as the minister and the executioner exited the hut.

"What happened to him?" The minister was beyond confusion.  
"I'm not sure." Dumbledore commented obliviously. "It wasn't Hagrid, seeing as he was with us the entire time."  
"We'll need to check the grounds immediately." The minister ordered.

"You could check the skies as well, minister, but by now he's probably gone" Dumbledore shrugged. "All I know is that I would like another brandy."

The minister sighed and headed away from the hut as the executioner heaved the ax over his head and let it fall to chop into a pumpkin. Harry and Hermione walked back into the woods and sat with Buckbeak.

"How long do you think this will take?" Harry asked.

"Well, it's about two in the afternoon now, so not too long." Hermione responded as she sat on the ground at the edge of the forest.

They sat together and waited the long hours until they saw their past selves chase after Ron when he was dragged into the Whomping Willow's entrance. Buckbeak was prancing around and jumping after the birds that would fly by every once in a while. He was probably having the best time over anyone that day.

"There!" Hermione stood. "We're coming out of the Willow!"

"Really?" Harry stood as well and squinted to see into the distance.

"Yeah, there you are talking to Sirius..." Hermione iterated as the things were going on. "There's Snape."  
"What now?" Harry asked as he looked at her. It was too far for him to see, but with Hermione's description he could get the round about idea of what was going on.

"Now-now Lupin is changing..." Her voice weakened to barely a whisper. "Sirius went after him and you followed." Hermione moved in an attempt to see more, and then gasped as she heard a sharp yelp come from the direction in which their past selves were.

Hermione cupped her hands around her mouth and howled loudly. Harry, being entirely confused, just looked at her than back towards where his past self was. Even Buckbeak had stopped whatever he was doing and watched her intently as she howled like a wolf into the night.

"What are you...?" Harry asked her.

"He was going to kill you, I had to do something to distract him." Hermione gawked.

"What are we doing when he comes down here?" Harry asked another question.  
"I didn't think of that yet." Hermione huffed as she looked from Harry to the werewolf that was now barreling down the mountain in their direction. "Run!"

Harry and Hermione turned to run back into the forest and he grabbed the rope hanging from Buckbeak's collar as they passed him on the way. They ran deep into the woods and hid behind a tall and wide tree. Both Hermione and Harry were gasping for breath.

"Do you see him?" Hermione asked as she looked at Harry.

Harry turned to look around the tree and saw Lupin stalking around the forest sniffing the trees and looking around. His bright yellow eyes gleamed brilliantly in the moonlight as his gaze flicked over Harry. Harry's eyes widened as he quickly hid behind the tree once more. He nodded at Hermione and heard the werewolf growling as it neared the tree.

Harry closed his eyes and steadied his breathing. He had his wand in his hand in case he would have to hex his professor. No matter how much he didn't want to do that, he would if he had to. The growling stopped and soon there was a whooshing noise of flapping wings and hooves hitting against the dirt floor of the forest.

This time Hermione braved looking around the tree and saw that Buckbeak was now advancing towards the werewolf. His wings were spread and he was bucking back and kicking at the werewolf. The werewolf growled at the other animal and was then kicked in the face and temporarily rendered unconscious.

"Professor Lupin is having a rough night..." Harry uttered as he looked at the limp animal that lay on the ground.

"Look..." Hermione pointed to the sky. "The Dementors..."

"They're going after Sirius." Harry' eyes widened and he took off immediately.

Harry ran through the trees and over the bushes until he came to the lake where he was with Sirius. He stood and watched as his past self tried to deflect the Dementors with a meager excuse for a patronus.

"This is where I saw my father conjure a patronus..." Harry turned and told Hermione as she stood behind him to watch.

"That's impossible, Harry. You're father is-" Hermione shook her head.

"Dead, I know." Harry finished her sentence. "But I saw him. He conjured a stag patronus. It was his animagus form."

"No one is coming, Harry." Hermione looked around the forest anxiously.

The Dementors continued to swoop over Harry and Sirius by the lake, and soon they had taken all they could from Sirius and he was dead. His soul floated just above his chest. It was a small ball of light that looked even more miniscule from this side of the lake.

"He's dead..." Hermione whispered sadly. "Harry, you have to-"

"My dad is going to be here!" Harry turned to her.

"Harry, he's not. It's just you and me here." Hermione was near tears as she watched the Dementors close in on Sirius' soul. A look of realization spread across Harry's face and he turned from Hermione.

"Expecto Patronum!" He bellowed. "Expecto Patronum! Expecto Patronum!"

A white ray of light beamed from the tip of Harry's wand, and from it came Harry's patronus. It was a stag, his father's animagus form when he was alive. It ran across the lake, sending all of the Dementors flying back from Sirius' lifeless form. Soon after the Dementors were gone Sirius' soul descended back into his chest and he began to breath once more.

"We have to get out of here." Hermione said as she backed away from the lake and pulling Buckbeak with her.

They flew from the farthest end of the woods on Buckbeak's back to where Dumbledore had told them Sirius was being kept captive in the castle. They landed on the stone walkway just outside of Sirius' cell. Harry cast a spell and the door, as well as some of the stone, blew off out of the wall and the entire cell was open.

Sirius was in the very back of the cell, he was sitting against a wall. When Harry looked in Sirius' eyes were wide and fearful as he looked out towards the very open doorway. His features relaxed when he saw who it was.

"C'mon, we need to get you out of here." Harry went into the cell and pulled Sirius up into the standing position.

"Thank you..." He whispered into Harry's ear.

"C'mon. They'll be coming soon." Hermione looked around the castle anxiously just as she had looked around the lake not long ago.

Harry, Sirius, and Hermione hoisted themselves up onto Buckbeak and flew into the courtyard that was on the way out to Hagrid's Hut. They landed briefly for Hermione to feed Buckbeak the last of the ferrets and for Sirius to speak with Harry.

"I know you must be tired of hearing this by now..." Sirius knelt down in front of Harry as the younger man sat on a stone bench. "But you look so much like your father, except-"

"Except for your mother's eyes, I know." Harry smiled at the older man.

"Yes." Sirius nodded sadly. "It's sad. I got to spend so much time with James and Lily and so little with you. I promise, we'll be a family. You can move in with me, and it'll be better."  
"I'd like that."  
"You know..." Sirius smiled weakly. "The people you love never really leave you," He placed his hand over Harry's heart. "You can always find them in here."

Harry nodded and Sirius stood up. They walked to where Hermione was watching Buckbeak and Sirius got up on top of the great beast and looked down at Harry once more. He smiled at the boy.

"Where will you go?" Harry asked before Sirius flew off.

"I have an idea, but I'm not completely sure yet." Sirius nodded and smiled. His gray eyes were different at this time. Before they seemed hollow and lifeless, now they were happy and bright.

Buckbeak took off into the moonlight and both Harry and Hermione watched as he faded into the distance. Harry secretly wondered where he would go, and if he would be safe. He wanted to talk with his godfather so badly it burned. It was his only tie to his parents and losing it now would be too hard for Harry.

"Harry, we have to hurry back to the hospital wing." Hermione pulled Harry by his hand and they ran through the castle.

They sprinted up the stairs just as Dumbledore was closing the door. Dumbledore saw them and smiled happily. It was as if it was completely normal for people to go from inside one room to the other in a matter of seconds, especially since they were too young for appiration and also on school grounds.

"Oh, Hello." He greeted them warmly.

"Hello Professor." Harry smiled widely.

"I'll assume you would like to go in here, wouldn't you?" Dumbledore pointed his boney finger towards the door and looked at the both of them.

"Yes please, sir." Hermione smiled and walked in as the headmaster held the door open for them.

"Weren't you guys...?" Ron looked at where Harry and Hermione had once stood and back at them now as they walked in together.

"What are you talking about, Ron?" Hermione smiled and laughed.

"Yeah, Ron, you sound like a nutter." Harry laughed as well and looked at Hermione happily.

"I... I don't even know." Ron sighed and closed his eyes to go back to sleep. Following suit, Harry and Hermione climbed into their own hospital beds and falling asleep almost immediately.

The next morning, Remus woke in the bedroom just off of his office in the school. He hurt everywhere, though the pain was more of a dull throb than an open-and-bleeding-wound kind of stabbing that he was used to. He sat up slowly and saw that he had less wounds than normal, and the ones that he did have weren't as severe as they normally were either.

This morning was going amazingly. He tried to remember the night before, and everything seemed fuzzy around the edges. He remembered Sirius coming to Hogwarts, and Harry believing him. That was good at least. Then he remembered Snape. He remembered Snape barging into the Shrieking Shack and taking control. He remembered his transformation and Sirius chasing after him... Everything after that was just fuzzy detail of nothingness.

Remus lay back down on the bed. He didn't want to think about losing Sirius again. It's been thirteen years, and even if there was a chance that Sirius had escaped, Remus would have to chase it. Even though he was capable, Remus was living up to the 'cursed position' superstition that occurred at the school. He had only been there a single year and now he was leaving, but unlike most of the professors, it was on his own accord rather than death/driven to insanity/being sacked.

The man's only hope was that Sirius was alive and safe. Knowing Sirius' wit and will to live Remus knew that he would survive. Not just for him now, but to see Harry as well. Having a family was something Sirius valued most since he really didn't have one. Remus knew that he would work to having a family, whether it be just he and Remus or he, Remus and Harry.

Remus lay in bed for a long while just thinking about things and pondering the previous night and how odd it was or must have been. He finally got up and out of bed. He dressed slowly and headed down to breakfast. The first thing Remus noticed was how tired and angry Severus looked. This was a good sign. He next noticed the contentedness that shown in Dumbledore's face, which was an even better sign. Lastly, he saw Harry, who was beaming with happiness. This was the best sign of all. Oh yes, Sirius had escaped.

"Hello Albus, Severus, Minerva." Remus greeted the teachers as they looked at him.

"Hello Remus." Dumbledore smiled warmly.

"I would like to talk to you later please." Remus said to the older man as he walked by.

"Of course, Remus." Dumbledore smiled warmly at the man again and went back to his meal.

The breakfast went well, as did telling Dumbledore he was quitting. Of course he didn't tell Dumbledore why he was quitting, he used his being a werewolf as an excuse since 'everyone knows about it now' and the headmaster wasn't all to happy to let him go but understood completely. The only thing that hadn't gone as well as Remus had hoped was telling Harry that he was leaving.

"Why?" Harry asked.

"Because I'm a werewolf, Harry. People know, and I don't think that parents want their children being taught by a vicious beast as myself." Remus pointed at himself, showing what a 'vicious beast' he was.

"You aren't vicious at all." Harry rolled his eyes. "You're the best teacher we've had so far, and I don't want another teacher."

"I know, Harry, and I'm sorry, but I have to go." Remus finished packing his things and gathered it all to leave.

"This is goodbye then?" Harry asked him sadly.

"I suppose it is." Remus shrugged and pulled Harry into a hug.

It wasn't really goodbye. Their lives would cross again many a times. Sirius was free and he and Remus would be starting their lives together once more and Harry had new ties to his parents that he didn't have before. This was a new beginning for all three of them.

_**Author's Note:**_

_** 5412 words later and here we are. This is probably going to be one of the longest chapters of the entire story, and also one of my personal favorites. To be quite honest, I don't really know what to put here. Normally there's a quip about something or other about the story, but I really have nothing. So I guess I just leave it at that.**_


	16. Don't go to Bed Yet, Love

_**Warning- The following story may or may not contain explicit slash between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Consider yourself warned...**_

_**Disclaimer- None of the characters you are about to read of belong to me. I am only using them for my sick and twisted enjoyment... And yours. Pervert.**_

"_Don't go to bed yet, love._

_I think it's too early,_

_We just need a little time to ourselves._

_If my wall clock tells me that it's four in the morning,_

_I'll give it hell."_

_Taken from the song 'Goodnight Moon' by Go Radio._

Remus walked into his house. It wasn't the flat that he and Sirius used to live in together... That was something he had long since left. The rent was too high and after the few months that Sirius payed in advance, Remus was out on the streets. Though, eventually he found a job and at least got some form of shelter— which just happened to be this house. He heard a rustling sound in the distant part of the exponentially small house. It was probably rats... There were always rats in this Hell hole of a house. Remus floated his luggage to hear the small kitchen table. There was another noise from upstairs, only louder this time. Perhaps a burglar?

Remus slowly crept up the stairs with his wand drawn. He saw that the bathroom door was open, and also that his bedroom door was as well. He quietly walked down the hall and peered into the bedroom. He saw Sirius laying across his bed. The man was cleaner now... He had apparently just showered in Remus' house. His hair looked cleaner, and also shorter. He had a towel wrapped around his waist as he lay full-spread across Remus' bed. A smile cracked across Remus' face. He hadn't seen anything this beautiful in a long time... He stripped slowly and quietly until he was down to just his boxers. He walked over to the bed and slid onto it and lay next to the other man. Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius' waist and neck from behind. His chin nudged itself so that it was on top of Sirius' shoulder and that his face was buried in the newly cleaned hair.

"Remus...?" Sirius' voice was thick with sleep. He turned to face the tawny haired man.

"Shh." Remus shushed Sirius and kissed him quickly. Sirius rolled himself on top of Remus and the bed groaned under the shift in weight. Remus' one arm snaked around Sirius' neck and the other around his waist.

Sirius' hands began to push Remus' boxers down his thighs and then opened the towel that hung on his own waist and threw both pieces off of the bed. Their naked bodies were touching in every possible way. Remus gasped as he felt Sirius coat his entrance in lubricant and then gasped again once Sirius began pushing into him.

"Are you-are you okay with...?" Sirius asked quickly. "I just want you to feel good..." Remus nodded and gasped as he felt Sirius fully push himself inside. It was an odd sensation, one he had to get used to again, but a lovely one none the less. They didn't want to waist time— it had been too long and they needed this now. Sirius pushed himself in quickly, barely letting Remus adjust before thrusting in and out of his lover first slowly but then picking up the pace. Remus' fingers carded trough the long black locks that hung around Sirius' now gaunt and pale face. Sirius' hands stayed at Remus' hips as he thrust in and out of the other man.

"S-Sirius..." Remus writhed and moaned underneath Sirius. "I've missed.." Sirius' pace slowed slightly. "I've missed you..."  
"I love you, love you." Remus gasped as he breathed heavily to keep from losing too much oxygen.

"I love you too, I love you so much." Sirius' thrust sped up to their previous pace and he began to plant kisses against Remus' neck and face. Sirius began to stroke Remus in rhythm with his thrusts and soon the other man was moaning both Sirius' name and God's. Sirius buried his face in the space between Remus' chin and collar bone. He breathed in the scent of Remus...

It was one of chocolate, sweat and in this situation he also smelt of sex. He began to remember what the boy used to smell like. This smell was almost the same as the way he used to smell... Only before he didn't smell so much like sex, sweat and chocolate as he did chocolate, books and a hint of honey. Remus' moans began to intensify as Sirius went on, and soon the tugging feeling in his stomach released and wave after wave of ecstasy washed over him. Every muscle in his body tightened and constricted so much that it was nearly painful. The tightening sensation that surrounded Sirius' cock was too much and he also was sent into an orgasm.

He leaned over Remus as feelings flooded through every fiber of his being and his body twitched and spasmed as he came. Sirius collapsed on top of Remus but then rolled off of him so that they could lay next to one another. They were both covered in cum and sweat. Both men were breathing heavily. Sirius began to laugh lightly. Remus just looked at him awkwardly.

"What?" Remus asked. He had no idea what to expect as an answer.

"When I was in prison, there was only one commodity that I had really missed..." Sirius looked at him still smiling. "And it was using toilet paper."  
"How is that funny?" Remus asked again.

"Now, after I'm out of Azkaban, I realize that what I've missed most is being able to shag you whenever the God damn hell I want to." Sirius shrugged and began to laugh some more. "I've missed your cock so much." He was laughing so hard that no sound was coming out just looked at him with the most blank and surprised look ever. Then he began to laugh as well. There they were, covered in cum and sweat, and laughing like this moment was the funniest moment they had ever experienced.

"I think..." Remus gasped for air between laughs. "I think the thing about you that I've missed the most is your humor."

"Really?" Sirius laughed some more.

"Really." Remus nodded and moved to be closer to Sirius.

"It's funny that I said I missed your cock, but you miss my sense of humor." Sirius began to laugh some more. Remus rolled onto his side to reach over Sirius to grab his wand and he quickly cast a cleaning spell before chucking the wand off of the side of the bed and laying his arm across Sirius' chest. The two of them just lay together as they came down from their temporary floaty feeling from the orgasm.

"I'm sorry..." Remus whispered.

"For what?" Sirius asked. He knew where this was going, but he didn't know what else to say.

"For not believing you, for not trusting you." Remus sighed.

"No, don't be. No one believed me." Sirius rubbed Remus' back reassuringly. "I betrayed you in our fifth year, which I still regret doing, and... And I think that's what made the pieces fit."

"I thought that it was only a matter of time before you did something like that... It started with disliking Peter, to betraying me, to finally what happened that night." Remus looked up at Sirius.

"No one believed me... You had a reason not to, but the others didn't because of my blood." Sirius laughed sadly.

"What about your trial?" Remus cocked a brow and frowned slightly.

"I never got one." Sirius shrugged. "The heir of an ancient and pureblood family, the brother of a dead Death Eater, the son of two Voldemort supporters... I'm not surprised I didn't get one. I probably would have been more surprised if I had gotten one, actually."

"That's... That's awful." Remus gasped quietly as he heard Sirius speak sadly.

"It's in the past now though, and there is nothing to be done about it now." Sirius smiled halfheartedly and kissed Remus once more.

"You still should have gotten a trial, like any other person going onto Azkaban." Remus shook his head and closed his eyes as he lay his head back down against Sirius' chest.

"I wasn't like any of the others going into Azkaban..." Sirius sucked in a deep breath. "I was innocent."

Remus nodded as Sirius finished his words. He breathed in the scent of Sirius some more... Letting it invade his senses. He grazed his hands over Sirius' very pale and less profound abs and pectorals. Remus remembered the summer before James and Lily died, it was back when everything was fine, and Sirius was strong and tanned from both his genetics and the time he spent in the sun. His skin was toned and sun kissed then... It was so different now. Sirius' skin was pale and barely compared to the washboard abs that once had been here.

"I missed you so much." Sirius whispered as he moved so he was face to face with Remus.

"I missed you too, I missed you." Remus whispered back as he wrapped his arms around Sirius. Sirius immediately responded and pulled Remus closer to him and just held him there.

"I love you, I love you so much." Sirius kissed the side of Remus' head as he held him closely.

"I love you too, I've missed you. Never leave me again..." Remus said back as he tried to move even closer to the other man.

"Never again, never." Sirius buried his face in Remus' hair and began to shake as he sobbed.

"I love you, I love you so much." Remus cooed to Sirius as he soothed the man. Sirius and Remus lay together for a long time. Sirius sobbed and shook as Remus held him and shushed and calmed him until he finally fell asleep.

Remus watched as Sirius slept. The man's face was slightly tense and his body was crumpled into the fetal position under the blankets. Remus stood quietly and pulled one a pair of boxers and went into the kitchen to make toast and tea for himself and Sirius for when he would wake up. Though he and Sirius were apart for such a long time, he still knew little things about the man. For instance, Remus knew that after the after-sex sleep Sirius would wake up hungry and Remus would normally make toast or some other small thing for him. That, and Remus would always be a bit peckish as well.

As he stood, leaning against the counter for support, Remus watched the water for the tea boil and smelled the bread as it toasted in the muggle toaster. There was the faint sound of Sirius' snoring down from the bedroom and Remus just sighed. Then he began to laugh. It started as a small chuckle, but soon he was all out convulsing with laughter.

He slid down and into the sitting position on the floor and began to calm and catch his breath. Remus didn't really care about the toast or the tea... All he really cared about was the fact that Sirius was back, and in his bed. He didn't care that the toast was burnt black or that the water was boiling and if left untended it would evaporate completely and there would be nothing left, for he had Sirius back. Sirius was home again, Sirius was in his bed again, Sirius was here again and as safe as he could be at this time.

Remus couldn't recall a happier time in his life.

_**Author's Note:**_

_** Oi, this update came more quickly than I thought. I expected it to be so much further in the week... Or even into the next. Either way, I'm surprised and happy to say the least and I hope you guys are too. **_

_**Anyhoo, the next update should be sometime next week, and if not during that time then the week after that. I'm sorry for how short this chapter is, and hopefully the next will be longer.**_

_** On a side note: I'm going to mother fucking prom. And I got a mother fucking dress. And I'm mother fucking excited.**_


	17. This is What Living Like This Does

_**Warning- The following story may or may not contain explicit slash between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Consider yourself warned...**_

_**Disclaimer- None of the characters you are about to read of belong to me. I am only using them for my sick and twisted enjoyment... And yours. Pervert.**_

"_This is what living like this does,_

_This is what living like this does,_

_This is what living like this does..."_

_Taken from the song "Ghost Man on Third' by Taking Back Sunday._

It's been weeks since Remus as seen Sirius, and he could feel himself missing the other man more and more each day. If there was a choice, Remus would never leave Sirius, but he had to. He had to go on missions and whatnot for the greater good.

For the past month Remus was out scouting for werewolf colonies in an attempt to make them see that the Order wanted to help them and make the Ministry see the better side of werewolves and not every single one of them was a blood thirsty killing machine.

He really hadn't reached out to as many as he had hoped, but he wasn't expecting much to be honest. The laws restricting werewolf rights and how they're treated are very biased against them and convincing people who have been treated horribly for what they are for as long as they can remember is a rather large task.

In about a day or so Remus would be returning back to Grimmauld Place and would hopefully be able to stay with Sirius for a while. As much as he wanted Sirius to come to the colonies with him, he knew it wasn't safe for more than one reason. One, he was still being hunted down and any form of travel outside of the house was dangerous. Two, the heir of the Black family [a family known for their prejudices against none purebloods] would be heading into an area where it was all mixbreeds and halfbloods. Yes, that seems like a great idea. Three, he is a person that doesn't have lycanthropy. Many of the people in the colonies haven't seen people outside of the colony for as long as they've been bitten and that can affect their social skills. In the colonies it's like being in a pack of dogs, only more dangerous... Anyone new is sniffed out and either shunned or hesitantly let into the group. It was far too dangerous.

Remus hated being away for so long like this... Sirius was pretty much alone most of the time. His only companions were Kreacher, the screaming portrait of his mother, and Buckbeak. Kreacher was crazed himself, the portrait was beyond crazed and the hippogriff, though a great companion, didn't talk and that meant Sirius pretty much talked to himself when talking to Buckbeak.

"Hello?" Remus called into the house as he slowly stepped inside. Finally, he was home... It's been so long, it's been too long.

"Dirty halfblooded freak." Kreacher muttered from the stairs.

"Where is Sirius?" Remus ignored the snide comment and acted as if it wasn't even said.

"Master Sirius..." Kreachers paused to think. "He is in the kitchen. Kreacher believes that there is a meeting of sorts."

"Thank you." Remus nodded and walked through.

Remus opened the door to the kitchen without knocking. He entered to see many pairs of eyes staring up at him. Kreacher was right there was a meeting going on, a rather large one. Kingsley was t here, Dumbledore, Molly and Arthur, Fred and George, Bill, Mundungus, Tonks and Sirius. There were many others, but Remus didn't recognize them that well.

"Remus, you're back." Dumbledore smiled at him and shook his hand as he stood the greeted the man.

"Here let me help you with your bags." Sirius practically fell out of his chair and skidded across the floor to help Remus with his things. It totally wasn't obvious that he had missed Remus, no not at all.

"Thank you, Sirius." Remus smiled warmly at the man.

Sirius took the majority of Remus' bags and carried them upstairs to their bedroom. Sirius lay the things on the bed. There was a large duffel bag, a smaller rucksack, a little wooden case hanging from the rucksack and lastly Remus' coat. The things lay on the bed for a moment, sinking into the bedspread. Both men watched as the items settled into the cushioning of the mattress.

"I missed you." Sirius said at once as he turned to kiss Remus' lips.

"I missed you as well." Remus said into the kiss.

"I know it was only a month, but I can't stand you being away." Sirius kissed him more. His arms wrapped around the tawny man's waist and pulled him closer.  
"I know, I know." Remus said as he pulled away from the kiss and lay his head against Sirius' shoulder.

They stood together for a while. Just holding one another and standing there. Remus thought about how many times he has left Grimmauld place for missions for the Order and how hard it must have been for Sirius. Sirius thought about how hard it was for Remus to be gone, even if the time span was a day or so he would still miss the man. He hated living this way... He was prisoner in his own home. It was like Azkaban all over again. He could never leave, all he could do is brood about and hope for a better future.

_**Author's Note:**_

_** You know how I had all those tiny little chapters a few weeks ago? Well, there may be another bout of those again with the next few chapters. I'm sorry. I just felt this chapter should be abrupt like this, it really feels good this way. It's not rushed but it's also not super slow. It's a good medium I suppose... Anyway, seeing as it's only Monday and this chapters is short you should expect another chapter or two later in the week. My last record for updates was 4 in one week, so I very well may beat that record. **_

_**-A.**_


	18. You Are Second Hand Smoke

_**Warning- The following story may or may not contain explicit slash between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Consider yourself warned...**_

_**Disclaimer- None of the characters you are about to read of belong to me. I am only using them for my sick and twisted enjoyment... And yours. Pervert.**_

"_You are second hand smoke, you are so fragile and thin.  
Standing trial for your sins, holding onto yourself the best you can.  
You are the smell before the rain, you are the blood in my veins._

_Call me a safe bet, I'm betting I'm not._

_I'm glad that you can forgive, I'm hoping as time goes you can forget."_

_Taken from the song 'The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot' by Brand New._

"Watch my side..." Remus mumbled weakly as he felt Sirius slide his arm over the massive bruise on his side.

"Sorry, sorry." Sirius whispered as he slid more closely to Remus.

The full moon was the night before. It was a bad night for the both of them. Remus practically outright ignored that Padfoot was there and just went about attacking himself as much as he could. Sirius was helpless and could barely distract the wolf for more than a moment to keep it from hurting itself.

Sirius pushed his face against Remus' neck and kissed softly. He remembered back when the two of them were in Hogwarts and Remus would love when Sirius did that. It always made goose flesh appear all over his body because of the odd sensation. Even now it still had the same affect on Remus' body.

"Remus...?" Sirius whispered to the man.

"Yes?" Remus answered. His voice was clear as day. He wasn't sleeping like Sirius had assumed, just weak.

"I..." Sirius took a deep breath. "I have to tell you something."  
"Okay." Remus rolled onto his back slowly and looked into Sirius' gray eyes.

"When I escaped Azkaban I knew that it would cause all sorts of problems. I knew that the Ministry would hunt me down for as long as they knew I was live..." Sirius let this sink in a moment before continuing. "I just want you to know that after I die, I want you to find someone."  
"Sirius..." Remus sighed as he pulled the man closer.

"No, listen. I really think that something bad will happen and I'll end up dead. I'm apart of the Order and... And I want you to know that after I die, I want you to move on. You deserve a life after me."  
"I wouldn't be able to-" Remus interjected.

"Yes you would. You're strong Moony, you will be able to move on. I love you, I love you so much..."  
"Then don't leave. Don't leave again." Remus was looking directly into his eyes. Remus' eyes were a dark amber color and Sirius' an intense stormy gray.

"I know Moony, I know. I just—I just want you to be ready. I'm leading a dangerous life and I don't want to leave you, but I know I will eventually. You have to promise me, you have to promise me that you'll find someone."

"I won't love them, I won't be able to move on." Remus shook his head.

"Yes, you will. You have to find someone Remus, I don't want you to be alone."

"Then don't leave!" Remus shouted at him and sat up. He winced in pain as he sat, but he was too involved in the conversation to care.

"Listen to me, Remus." Sirius sat up as well. "I... I want you to promise me, right now, that after I die you 'll find someone that you like enough—even love—and be with them."

"I can't..." Remus shook his head and put his head in his hands.

"Find someone that you love, find someone that will make you smile and laugh, and remind you of me." Sirius pulled the man closely. He hated bringing this up, but he knew that living the way that he does he will die soon enough and he wanted Remus to be ready.

"I can't..." Remus said again. "I won't..."

"I want you to, please. I just want you to be happy." Sirius cupped Remus' face and looked into his eyes. "Promise me, promise me you'll find someone."

"Only... Only if you do the same for me." Remus nodded at Sirius.

"Okay." Sirius smiled weakly and kissed Remus softly. "I love you, I love you so much."

"I love you too." Remus nodded into the kiss. "Please, I don't want to talk about this anymore..."

"No, no we don't have to. I just... I just wanted to talk about it and get it all out."

"Okay." Remus smiled weakly and lay back down in the bed and rolled onto his side.

"Goodnight Moony." Sirius said as he lay down next to the other man and curled around him.

They woke hours later during a storm. The loud crack of thunder and bright flash of lightening was enough to wake Sirius with a start and then wake Remus. Sirius looked around the room, he wasn't quite awake yet, then back down at Moony who was just rolling over to look at Sirius. His eyes were squinted and the circles under his eyes were dark.

"I'm hungry." Was all Remus said before sitting up rather quickly considering what he went through the night prior.

"Let's go get some food from the kitchen then, yeah?" Sirius got up from bed and stretched. He looked down at his nearly bare legs and shrugged as he headed downstairs to the kitchen to make breakfast.

Remus followed after he was dressed... He entered the kitchen and saw Sirius hovering around the stove as he cooked. He smelled toasting bread, bacon sizzling and tea brewing. Remus was more than content with this meal.

"Thank you." Remus smiled as he sat in one of the many chairs around the long wooden table.

"No problem." Sirius smiled over his shoulder at Remus.

There was a knock at the door and Remus looked at Sirius as Sirius looked at Remus. Sirius, who was nearly naked looked sheepishly towards the door. Remus sighed faux-angerly and got up to answer the door.

"Hello Dumbledore." Remus said as he answered the door.

"Hello Remus. May I and my colleagues come in please?" Dumbledore smiled at him.

"Oh absolutely. Come in, come in." Remus moved aside so the others could come in. He was hoping that Sirius had enough sense to get dressed...

"Professor Lupin?" Harry asked as he walked in. He was the last inside the door.

"Hello Harry. I didn't know you were coming as well." Remus smiled and hugged the boy as if it were his own son, or God Son for that matter.

"Yeah, Ron and Hermione are coming tomorrow as well." Harry walked down the corridor leading to the kitchen.

"That's perfectly fine, there is absolutely enough room here for everyone." Remus smiled and nodded.

"I didn't know you lived here..." Harry cocked his head and looked at Remus.

"Remus is a good friend of mine and seeing as his furry problem prevents him from getting most jobs and renting a flat I let him live here." Sirius spoke up as he stood behind Harry.

"Sirius!" Harry spun quickly and hugged him tightly.

"Also, it's less lonely here for Sirius with someone to talk to." Remus said as he walked past Sirius and Harry as they hugged.

"I've missed you, Harry." Sirius smiled and ruffled Harry's hair.

"I've missed you too..." Harry nodded. "I'm sorry I'm so early but I couldn't stand it at the Dursley's anymore and so I left." 

"You shouldn't up and leave like that Harry, you should let some people in the Order know before you just leave." Sirius made a concerned face. "But I'm glad you're here and that safe." His expression softened.

Remus was finishing the food where Sirius had left off. He offered some to the Order members, each declined and he scooped the food onto a plate for himself and a plate for Sirius. As he picked up his plate to sit at the table and walked to where one of the few empty chairs was. He was next to a woman who looked to be in her early to mid thirties. Her hair was of a bright pink, almost like bubblegum. She wasn't looking at Remus, but when she did turn to face him all he saw was a long duck's beak protruding from her face where her mouth and nose should be. Remus couldn't even imagine what his face was like at that moment.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." The beak changed into what he assumed was her normal features.

"It's okay." Remus blinked and looked at her cautiously.

"I'm Nymphodora Tonks, but everyone calls me Tonks." She shrugged and smiled at him. "I'm a metamorphmagus, so I can change my features whenever I want."  
"Oh, that's really interesting." Remus furrowed his brows and nodded at her. "That means one of your parents is a metamorphmagus, no?"

"Yes, my mother Andromeda is." The woman nodded and smiled sweetly at Remus.

"I recognize that name..." Remus said thoughtfully.  
"You probably saw it on the Black Family Tree in the other room. My mother is Sirius' cousin, but she was burned off when she married my father, who is a muggle named Ted."

She rambled on a bit after that, but Remus really didn't notice. Remus' mind was going a mile a minute... She could change her features, she was related to Sirius, and she obviously showed an interest in Remus. She was perfect.

"So what's your story? I've told you all about me but I know so little about you." She cocked her head and waited for Remus to speak.

"Oh... Uh. My name is Remus Lupin. My mom was a muggle and my dad was a wizard, they died a long time ago back when I was young. I got my middle name from him." Remus nodded. He couldn't think of much else he could tell the woman without scaring her off.

"Hmm... So you're like me?" Tonks nodded and smiled lightly. "Just a halfblood, I mean."  
"More or less, yeah." Remus laughed slightly at the irony of him being 'just a halfblood' to her but so much more to most of the others in the room.

The meeting ended and the crowd dispersed from the kitchen. Most of the people left, but a few stayed behind. Remus finished his food slowly and Tonks continued to talk with him. She really seemed to be taking a liking to him, and Remus found himself liking her as well. He didn't love her like he loved Sirius, but she was nice and seemed to not be completely disgusted by Remus' facial scars.

Remus felt guilty immediately after she left the house. He felt bad for possibly picking someone like he promised Sirius he would do. Had Sirius picked someone already? If he had, did Remus really want to know who? No matter who Remus picked and how prepared he was, he knew that he would never be able to move on from Sirius' death. He had pushed Sirius from his mind when the man was in prison, but he still knew that Sirius was alive in Azkaban, his death would be very different.

_**Author's Note:**_

_** I lied. This chapter isn't really all that short... Anyway, I'm glad I got this chapter out of the way. Those last few paragraphs were killer to write. I wanted them to sound a specific way and it took nearly an hour to write just from 'The meeting ended...' to '...his death would be very different.' **_

_**I would expect the next update sometime later this week.**_

_**-A.**_

_**ps.**_

_**I can't believe I typed 'boner' in one of my past chapters... I was reading through and I read the one part and legitimately laughed out loud when I read 'boner.' It's such a funny word, and I can't get over that I used it in a sex scene.**_


	19. We Started Sinking,

_**Warning- The following story may or may not contain explicit slash between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Consider yourself warned...**_

_**Disclaimer- None of the characters you are about to read of belong to me. I am only using them for my sick and twisted enjoyment... And yours. Pervert.**_

"_We started sinking, drinking water from the open sea._

_Losing our bodies to the ocean._

_You grabbed my hand and started screaming, rescue me  
Together fight the downward motion._

_Back in the kingdom we were kings and queens, and oh so free,  
That God himself just had to show us."_

_Taken from the song 'One Last Song' by Josiah Leming._

"I saw him!" Harry bellowed. "I saw him in my dreams! He's in the Department of Mysteries and he's being tortured by Voldemort!"

"Harry, calm down..." Hermione gripped his shoulders.

"How can he calm down Hermione? His God Father is being tortured as we speak!" Ron cut in.

"We don't know that." Hermione looked at Ron. "We should try and get a hold of Sirius via Floo before we do anything..."

"No! We have to go now!" Harry shouted.

"She may be right, mate." Ron sided with Hermione now. Harry sighed heavily and ran his fingers through his perpetually mussed hair and paced the room.

"Fine, fine." Harry mumbled. "But if he isn't there then we absolutely are going to the Ministry."

"Deal." Hermione nodded. "Now come on."

They tried to contact Sirius on the Floo Network, but they could not. Instead of Harry's God Father they saw Kreacher. He was standing in front of the fire place with a wicked grin on his face. He looked outright crazed.

"Kreacher, where is Sirius?" Harry asked quickly. His voice was irate and he had no time for Kreacher's antics.

"Master Sirius has... Has gone." Kreacher's wide toothy grin stretched even farther.

"He looks crazy..." Ron whispered to Hermione.

"Shh Ron." Hermione shushed him and turned back to Kreacher. "Where did he go, Kreacher?"

"He said... He said something about going to the Ministry." Kreacher's face contorted once more. He looked like he was deep in thought rather than completely insane.

"See?" Harry yelled before standing and running from the room.

Hermione ended the conversation with Kreacher and followed Harry and Ron as they ran out of the Gryffindor Common Room and down the stairs to the main hallway. The three of them passed several students on the stairs and down the hall.

"Harry, Ron, Hermione!" Called a voice from far down the hall. The three of them skidded to a stop and turned to face whom ever it was that was calling them.

"Neville?" Ron asked with a surpised tone.

"Hello..." Luna said coolly.

"Harry?" Ginny peered out from behind Neville and Luna.

"Where are you guys running off to?" Neville looked at the three of them.

Hermione and Ron looked at Harry. This was about Harry, and it would be on Harry to tell people if he wanted to. Harry looked from Neville to Luna and lastly to Ginny, then at Ron and Hermione. He thought of the others in Dumbledore's Army too... They were all friends, right? Harry had trained them against the dark arts himself, why couldn't they help?

"It's Sirius." Harry said finally. "He's in trouble."

"We'll help." Luna said as soon as Harry was finished.

"Are you sure?" Hermione asked.

"We're apart of Dumbledore's Army, aren't we?" Neville countered.

"He's right." Ron shrugged.

"Okay, just let's go." Harry urged.

The group ran off out and out of the school. Thankfully they weren't caught [again] by Umbridge... They already dealt with her today, and another bout would slow them down and right now they needed to get out of here and fast.

They got to just outside of the Ministry and spotted the phone booth. All six of them crammed into the machine... It was a rather tight squeeze but they all fit into it.

"Welcome, what floor may I direct you to?" Said a cool and calm female voice to them.

"Er," Harry stuttered. "Department of Mysteries, please?"

"And what is the nature of your business?" The voice asked again.

"Rescue Mission." Neville said.

"One moment please." The voice said. Out of the coin slot came six tags labeled 'Rescue Mission' on them. Harry passed one out to everyone and then put the last on himself.

There was a strong whooshing feeling and then an abrupt stop. The door on the phone booth opened and the group stepped out quickly and quietly. They looked around the great room. It was nearly empty seeing as the Ministry wasn't open at this time and no one was here working.  
"This way." Harry ushered everyone in one specific direction, and they followed.

Harry led them down a long corridor, then down a shorter corridor that was made of black shiny stone, and finally they made it to the large iron door at the end of the hall. A small sign reading 'Department of Mysteries' hung above the large door.

Ron and Neville opened the door and Harry peered inside. He saw a large room with many doors. They all looked different, yet the same, and all were very old looking. Harry cast the 'lumos' charm and the room illuminated. The entire group walked into the room and the large door closed behind them. They were cut off from the outside world until this was over...

"What door do we go in?" Ginny asked.

"I... I don't know." Harry spun in circles looking at all of the doors.

"You said you saw Sirius in your dreams." Luna quipped as she looked at all the doors more closely.

"I know." Harry snapped back at her. "I just... I don't remember this part."

"Why don't we just open all of the doors one by one and see which one you do remember?" Neville stepped in.

"Yes, let's do that." Hermione added as she walked to the first door that she saw and waited by it for Harry.

"This one?" Harry asked as he looked around at the others that were with him.

"I suppose so, mate." Ron shrugged.

Harry gripped the doorknob on the door and opened the old wooden door slowly. He looked inside and then opened the door completely so that everyone could see inside. Luna made a face as if she was listening for something.

"Do you hear that?" She asked.

"Hear what?" Neville asked.

"It's like whispering." Harry whispered. "I don't know what they're saying, but it's there. It's like it's coming from that veil."

A large cavernous room was hidden behind this door. Inside the room was a stone

"I don't hear anything..." Hermione said.

"I hear it." Luna said.

"So do I." Harry looked at the rest of the group.

"Okay." Ron said as he closed the door quickly. "We should try the next door then, yeah?"

"Yeah..." Harry said. He really wasn't paying attention to what Ron had said.

They opened the rest of the doors... One was a broom closet, one had a brick wall behind it, another had a door behind it and that door had a door so on and so forth. The very last door they tried, the oldest looking of them all, once opened had rows upon rows upon rows of massive shelving inside it.

"I think... I think this is it." Ron said as he looked inside.

"C'mon, we have to find Sirius." Harry ran inside the door, his wand was held out in front of him as he read the numbers at the end of every long shelf.

"Do you know where he is?" Hermione asked as she ran after Harry. The others tailed behind her.

"Yes, it's coming up so everyone be ready." Harry said. Those that didn't already have their wands out drew them quickly and prepared themselves to fire at will.

Harry ran to where he thought Sirius would be. There was no one. There was nothing. Harry looked down every aisle between the tall shelves, but saw nothing but darkness and the white orbs on the shelves.

"Well?" Ron asked.

"I don't know..." Harry spun around. He looked at the shelves. This was so confusing.

"You said he was here." Neville looked around as well.

"I know, I know." Harry looked at them. They were just staring back at him. No one knew what to do.

"He wasn't at his house though... And you you heard what Kreacher said." Ron looked from Harry to Hermione.

"What are those?" Luna pointed at the orbs on the shelves. They glowed slightly and seemed to hover just above the shelf itself.

"Those are prophecies..." Said a voice from the shadows. Everyone in the group of six turned towards from where the voice had come from and all had their wands drawn.

A tall figure stepped from the shadows... He had long blonde hair, a narrow face, piercing blue eyes and very pale skin. Lucius Malfoy. He was wearing long black robes and was walking with his cane like he always would.

Harry's eyes narrowed and he lowed his wand slightly, though he was still ready to defend himself. The others kept their wands out and up, they weren't about to trust this man. Most the people in the group of six had reasons to dislike him, if not for his own actions then what his son has said and done.

"What are prophecies?" Harry asked.

"They are known as psychic predictions of the future." Lucius stepped out into the main aisle of the room. "There is one here about you, you know."  
"What does it say?" Harry asked. Though a normally polite boy, he had a distaste for the Malfoy's and wasn't about to be kind to the elder Malfoy now.

"I haven't an idea..." He shrugged nonchalantly. "Only the person which it is about can pick it from the shelf."  
Harry looked at the man wearily. He didn't want to trust him... The Malfoys weren't all too trustworthy, but seeing as the man knew a lot about prophecies, Harry's specifically, he wanted to see where his was and what this was all about.

"Take me to it." Harry ordered the man.

"We are already here." Lucius said as he pointed to the aisle that he had just moments ago came from.

Harry moved to go down the aisle, not taking his eyes off of Lucius, and read the labels under each orb. He found his own and looked at it curiously. He wanted to pick it up and hear what it would tell him... Seeing as it was in the Ministry of Magic it had to be important, and if Lucius knew about it and possibly wanted it that also meant it could be dangerous.

"Go ahead, take it." Lucius urged Harry on. "You want to know don't you?"

Harry took a deep breath. He so wanted to take it... His life has so far been a right mess. He wanted to be able to plan for his future and be able to know what was coming at him next. He hated not knowing things... He never knew anything. There were always secrets with his life. Now was different. He had the power to find things out and he would if he damn well wanted to. So he did.

He picked the orb from the shelf and looked at it. It felt like he was holding air, but heavier. It looked like smoke and emitted a faint white light.

"What does it say?" Lucius asked eagerly.

"_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches ... Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies ... And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not ... And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives ... The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies ..." _A faint voice echoed through Harry's ears as the prophecy spoke. It was a ghostly voice, but one he had heard before. Lucius had said it was a psychic prediction, so it very well could have been Professor Trelawny.

"What did it say?" Lucius shouted.

"Nothing..." Harry looked up at him. Lucius would never know.

Lucius smiled wickedly and looked around the room. From the shadows of the other aisles came masked Death Eaters. They were dressed in long black cloaks and no one was distinguishable what so ever. The others noticed quickly and began to fire hex after curse after charm at the Death Eaters.

"Run!" Hermione yelled above all the flying charms.

The group split up quickly and practically everyone ran in different directions. Harry was off by himself, Hermione ran off with Neville, Ron with Ginny and Luna was also by herself. Harry ran and ran until he couldn't think of where else to go. He walked against a wall and passed every aisle. He heard faint footsteps and stopped quickly. His breathing stopped, but he thought that the hammering in his chest was more than enough to be heard from feet away.

"Hello...?" Came a calm voice from just behind Harry.

"Luna?" Harry spun quickly to see the blonde girl's face mere inches from his own. "Don't sneak up on me like that."  
"I'm sorry." She shrugged.

"Your head's bleeding, are you okay?" Harry moved her hair and indeed there was a cut.

"Oh, one of those people tried to catch me and ended up scratching me with his wand." She acted nonchalantly about this just as she would any other thing.

"Well come on, let's get going." Harry grabbed her hand to take her with him.

The two of them heard shouting near by and ran to see what was going on. They hid beside the shelves and watched as the rest of the group fought off three or so Death Eaters. Harry was going to step in, but Luna had said to him that the prophecy seemed to be important and that it was all the Death Eaters and Lucius wanted and that he had to keep it safe.

Luna walked into the battle instead of Harry. They defeated the Death Eaters, making it safe for Harry to come out with the prophecy. They all looked at one another. Luna had her head wound, Neville's eye had a bruise forming around it, Ginny's pants were torn, Hermione's hair was singed at the tips and it seemed like there was a rather large cut on Ron's forearm. Harry immediately felt guilty... He was practically unharmed, but his friends were battered, bruised and broken and all to save Sirius [who wasn't even here] and now to protect Harry and the prophecy.

"We should get out of here." Hermione suggested after the long pause.

"Yes, let's." Harry seconded her suggestion and the group of them headed towards what they would assume would be the exit.

"There! Get him!" An angry voice called from behind the group as they exited.

A ray of red light shot past Them and hit one of the shelves, causing it to knock over onto the next. It created a domino affect and thus began to knock over most of the shelves. Harry, Ron, Hermione, Neville, Ginny and Luna all ran from the falling shelves and burst through the door at the end of the aisle. There was no ground on the other side of the door, and so they plummeted. They dropped far and fast until they were about a foot from the ground, then they just stopped dead. They floated stagnantly in the air, but in a mere few seconds they dropped the final foot and hit the ground with a boom.

The group stood and Harry recognized the room immediately. It was the room that they saw first when they were opening all the doors. There was the raised stone area and the extremely old and decrepit looking arch and veil. Then came the whispers.

"I hear the whispering..." Luna moved closer to the veil.

"I do too." Harry followed her. "It's coming from the veil."  
"Don't go too closely!" Hermione grabbed their shoulders as they neared the archway. "You don't know what it's for..."

"Yeah be carefu-" Ron started to say.

The room went completely dark and there was a loud shrieking laugh echoing through the room. Harry blinked several times and the light was back, but his friends were gone. He looked around and saw several of the Death Eaters. Each had one of his friends and each had his or her wand pointed at the temple of their captive. There were only two Death Eaters he really recognized. One being Lucius and the other being Bellatrix LeStrange.

"Give me the prophecy, Harry." Lucius outstretched his arm to Harry.

"No." Harry said quickly.

"No?" Lucius laughed. "Then let your friends die..."

Harry stayed silent. He couldn't let the Death Eaters get the prophecy, but he also could never let his friends die like this. He would never forgive himself, let alone the parents of his friends forgive him. He looked at his friends, each was cringing as the wand dug more and more deeply into the sensitive flesh of their temple. He looked back to Lucius, who's hand was still extended.

"Well?" He asked impatiently.

"Fine." Harry closed his eyes and handed over the prophecy.

He opened his eyes and saw Lucius looking into the prophecy. He held it with a tight grip and the orb looked as though it was going to explode from the pressure, and it nearly did.

Harry looked around at his friends. They looked relieved, but in a sad way. Harry hated having to barter like that... It was either his friends or the prophecy. He chose his friends, and he still doubted his decision.

"Look!" Shrieked one of the Death Eaters.

Out of the door that Harry, Hermione, Ron, Neville, Luna and Ginny had fallen from came a whoosh of bright white light. The ray of light split up into several smaller rays and each flew around the room and collected the captured children. Harry looked around and saw that they really weren't just rays of light, they were members of the Order of the Phoenix.

"Hey!" Shouted a deep and angry voice from behind Lucius. "Get away from my God Son!" It was Sirius who was shouting. As Lucius turned he punched the blonde man across the face, making him fall to the ground and drop the prophecy. As the orb hit the hard stone ground it shattered and the white smoke escaped into the air.

"Come with me." Sirius grabbed Harry and drug him down to hide behind a rock.

Sirius looked over the rock and saw that the Death Eaters were recuperating and as were the Order members. He looked back at Harry and sighed.

"You have to get out of here." Sirius moved so he wouldn't get hit by a rogue curse.  
"I want to stay a fight with you!" Harry said.

"You've done... Beautifully." Sirius smiled. "But you have to go, it's not safe."

There was a massive explosion and Sirius stood from behind the rock to fight. Harry followed and stood behind Sirius as he fired curses and hexes at Lucius.

"Nice shot, James!" Sirius called to Harry as one of Harry's curses blew the wand from Lucius' hand and leaving him helpless.

Sirius cast the final spell at Lucius to knock him off of his feet. Sirius turned to Harry to tell him to leave and go to safety, but he barely uttered a word before a red ray of light hit him square in the chest and pushed him backwards into the veil.

His face, still etched into a devilish smirk, seemed to fade to a shade of gray as his body seemed to become immersed in the veil. The veil pulled him up into itself and after what seemed like hours, he was gone. He was gone and there was nothing left. There would be no tombstone, no urn, nothing.

"I killed Sirius Black!" Bellatrix shrieked.

Remus saw Harry's face contort from shock to anger. He ran to grab the boy and prevent him from throwing himself into the veil. Harry broke free and went to chase down Bellatrix and whomever else went out of the room.

All of the Order members fled the room after the Death Eaters that escaped, leaving Remus alone in the massive room. He heard shouting and screaming outside of the room, but didn't care enough to go and help.

Remus knelt in front of the veil and sobbed. Why had this happened? Sirius promised not to let this happen again. Sirius promised that he would stay forever... But he didn't, he lied. Sirius knew that he was going to die. He knew, and so he prepared Remus for it. Although it was months ago that he told Remus to 'find someone' the man knew he would never be prepared.

"Why..." Remus sobbed in front of the archway. The shabby veil fluttered about, mocking Remus.

He sat there for a long time. He contemplated Sirius' death, and then his own. Remus continued to sob, and he shook with each breath.

Was it he who was trembling, or was it the earth shaking as his world crashed around him?

_**Author's Note:**_

_**Fact: Sirius' death was the most sad point in all of the seven Harry Potter books by my opinion. It depressed me more than any other death because I liked Sirius and I knew that he was the only tie Harry had to his parents. Yeah, he had Remus but Remus was out doing whatever all the time, where as Sirius could and wanted to sit down and talk with him.**_

_**-A.**_


	20. If I Could Get To Sleep

_**Warning- The following story may or may not contain explicit slash between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Consider yourself warned...**_

_**Disclaimer- None of the characters you are about to read of belong to me. I am only using them for my sick and twisted enjoyment... And yours. Pervert.**_

"_If I could get to sleep_

_Then I guess you could stop pretendin'.  
Cause if I didn't think you loved it, well then I wouldn't play along and_

_You've got your high as a  
You've got your high as a  
Kite tricks in the bag."_

_Taken from the song 'Ballad of San Villanueva' by Taking Back Sunday  
_

This was the fourth day of his sulking... Remus, after Sirius' death, hadn't left their previously shared room. He hadn't dressed, he hadn't really bathed, and he barely ate or drank anything that wasn't alcohol from the ancient Black wine cellar.

Remus waited for the day that Sirius would burst through the door and say that it was all a prank and he would laugh like he normally did and things would go back to the way they were. It never happened though, and it never would. Remus' eyes opened slowly and the first thing he saw was a half empty bottle of some sort of wine, and then another, and another. It was funny how Remus never was a drinker, but for the past few days it was pretty much what he lived on. He never really finished a bottle, but would just drink enough to get a little drunk and then open another bottle. Soon he would have to back down into the basement and get another load of bottles.

"Remus...?" Called a sweet-as-honey voice from the door. "I knocked, but you didn't answer."

"Mm?" Remus answered unintelligibly. "Oh, yeah." He rolled onto his back and looked at Nymphadora.

"I have breakfast for you." She offered a tray with all sorts of food on it. "It's eggs, bacon, a crumpet and some tea."

"Cheers." Remus took the tea from the tray and sipped slowly. He didn't want much of the other food.

She set the tray down and sat on the bed next to Remus. Her eyes looked swollen, red, and puffy. It was as if she was crying.  
"I miss him too." She said finally.

"I know." Remus answered.

"He was my cousin. He was the only 'good' one I had." She smiled slightly and when she looked at Remus he was smiling as well.

She moved to sit on the bed more comfortably and looked at Remus. He sipped his tea and looked back at here. He sighed after he finished the cup and set it on the tray where Nymphadora had set it.

She waited until Remus was finished with his tea, then she leaned in and kissed him softly. He felt awkward and uncomfortable. Her soft feminine lips felt foreign against his and he didn't like it. He outright disliked it to be quite honest... As much as he hated the feeling, he kissed her back.

"Remus..." She mumbled into the kiss.

"Nymphadora..." Remus mumbled back as he leaned in and pushed her back against the bed.

He hovered over top of her and just looked down at her. This whole thing was foreign to him... He was never with a woman before. Sirius was his first for just about everything. He wasn't used to seeing breasts push up from under a tight shirt, he wasn't used to the lack of a bulge in the front of a pair of pants and he definitely wasn't used to there being a vagina between the person's legs rather than a penis.

"R-Remus..." She wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him down against her.

He kissed along her neck and nipped at the skin. He slowly undressed both himself and her as they went along. The sex was extremely awkward... Remus was used to being the submissive one more so than the dominant one and it was an odd experience. After only a mere twenty minutes they were finished.

Remus rolled off of her and looked at her. Her face was as red as her hair was and she looked extremely embarrassed. It was obvious that she was trying not to make eye contact with Remus and he didn't really know why.

"Are you okay? Did I hurt you?" Remus was concerned... He didn't like the idea of hurting anyone, let alone the woman he just had sex with.

"No, no." She shook her head and smiled slightly. "I just... I was..." She sighed and looked at him thoughtfully.

"Oh..." Remus understood. She was a virgin and had just given herself to Remus.

Shit. She was a virgin. Now he had to hold on his conscience that not only wasn't he in love with her, but she liked him enough to let him take her virginity.

Dammit. She was probably pregnant. He hadn't used any protection and as far as he knew neither did she... So now he took her virginity and gave her a baby. Did she even want to be with him?

Fuck. Now that he had her possible pregnancy in mind he would have to tell her about his being a werewolf. Or does she know? Most of the Order knows, if not everyone. Merlin, what could this do to the baby?

"This won't change things will it?" Nymphadora asked as she rolled onto her side to face Remus better.

"Do you want it to?" He asked her. He would be okay with it changing, but she had to be okay with it as well.

"I don't know..." She sighed. "I like you, I really like you. I just... Do you want to be with me?"

"If you're willing to be with... With a person like me, then I would love to be with you Nymphadora." Remus smiled at her and moved more closely so he could kiss her lips lightly.

"I know about you being a werewolf, and I don't care. I really like you, and I think that this could work." She kissed back.

"I really like you too..." He smiled into the kiss. Thank Merlin he didn't have to tell her about his being a werewolf, and thank Merlin that she was accepting.

He pulled her into his arms and just lay with her. He didn't want to think about Sirius, but he couldn't help it. He compared her to him and how they were different and similar. Remus, no matter how much time passes, will hate himself for finding someone so soon after Sirius' death...

Later that night after the two had gotten up and dressed or did whatever they had to. Each headed downstairs separately. They wanted to keep their relationship closed until further notice and decided that acting just as they did before would be best.

After dinner and the Order of the Phoenix meeting Remus and Nymphadora sat at the table and talked a while. They talked of the future, the war, the Ministry and all sorts of things like that...

"I'm getting tired of my red hair." Nymphadora sighed and twirled a lock of the bright red hair in her fingers.

"You can change it at will, right?" Remus raised a brow at her.

"That I can... But I'm not sure what color I want next though." She shrugged.

"Try black." Remus suggested. Her hair changed immediately. It was the exact same style and length, but it looked far better black than red.

"Does it look good?" She cocked her head at Remus.

"Amazing..." He smiled. "Try making it shorter too. Perhaps to just above your shoulder?"

"Sure. I can change my eye color too, what do you think that should be?" She asked. "If I can remember correctly their green now."

"Yes, they are green." Remus nodded. "Perhaps gray or silver would look nice?"

"I'll try it." Nymphadora closed her green eyes and then opened them to be gray.

"Stunning." Remus smiled at her. He leaned in for a kiss and felt her lips graze his lightly.  
"It's amazing what muggles will pay to be able to have different hair color or eye color or even facial structure." She shrugged and laughed. "I do it any time I want."  
"You can change your bone structure in your face?" Remus' eyes widened in surprise.

"Mhm." Nymphadora smiled. "Here, let me show you."

She changed her cheek bones first. She started by making them very high and prominent, then very slight and unnoticeable, and lastly back to normal. Then she made her forehead larger then smaller and lastly back to the way it was prior. Finally she altered her jaw... She made her jaw softer and more feminine then to the other extreme where it was very squared and manly looking.

"What do you think?" She asked the now-dazed Remus.

"That's amazing... You look amazing with the high cheekbones." He nodded.

"Really?" She looked deep in thought and finally her bone structure changed so that her cheekbones were high and very aristocratic looking.

The nearly shoulder length black hair, the high prominent cheekbones, and the stormy gray eyes all but mesmerized Remus. He saw past the unchangeable womanly features and saw Sirius underneath it all. He loved it, he more than loved it. It was as if the man was sitting right in front of him and had never really left in the first place.

_**Author's Note:**_

_** Hey, sorry about the insanely late update... Fanfiction dun goof'd and wouldn't let me update anything with anything, so please please please forgive me. Though, in the time between my last update and this one now I've written another chapter. It will be posted soon as well!  
**_

_**-A.**_


	21. My Eyes Can't Believe What They've Seen

_**Warning- The following story may or may not contain explicit slash between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Consider yourself warned...**_

_**Disclaimer- None of the characters you are about to read of belong to me. I am only using them for my sick and twisted enjoyment... And yours. Pervert.**_

"_My eyes can't believe what they have seen.  
In the corner of your room you've stockpiled millions of my memories."_

_Taken from the song 'The Phrase That Pays' by The Academy Is..._

It had taken months, if not longer, for Sirius' deed to go through. The Order had to wait and see if the house went to Harry rather than Bellatrix. If the house were to go to Harry, then everything within it would also he his, but if it went to Sirius' Death Eater cousin then it would all be her's and then the Order would be out of a place to have meetings.

After the long time of waiting everyone could finally breath a sigh of relief. The house went to Harry. The Order still had their meeting place and Harry had at least some things to remember his Godfather by.

"If you wish," Dumbledore said as he walked through the front door to Grimmauld Place with Harry, Ron and Hermione. "You can explore the house. It's yours now, you know."

"Okay." Harry nodded to the older man and walked down the hallway and up the stairs. Ron and Hermione decided to follow and explore as well. They would be staying her off and on over the summer, so it would be beneficial to see what the house held within.

Ron and Hermione broke away from Harry and went to explore some of the other rooms while Harry went into Sirius' old room. He walked inside and the first thing he noticed was the fact that it still looked lived in. It was as if someone just got up for the day and left the bed unmade and the laundry undone.

Harry walked inside and he saw that although it looked lived in, the room absolutely wasn't that. Everything was covered in a thin layer of dust and the quietness of the room was deafening. Harry lay his wand on the dresser and sat on the bed. He sank into the cushioning on the bed and looked around the room. There was a small end table next to the bed with an old looking lamp on top of it, and the dresser looked like the end table but was larger. On top of Sirius' dresser were photos of he and Lupin, he and James, he and Lily and then all four of them together. Peter wasn't in a single one. Lastly, there was a photo of Sirius and Harry. It was in color and was taken rather recently... Harry remembered the photo being taken. It was taken by Lupin and was taken in the ancient kitchen of the house.

Harry rose from the bed and walked towards the large closet. He opened the door and within it hung old clothing and moth eaten quilts were piled on the floor of the closet. In the back corner of the closet was what looked like a basin. It was rather large, made of stone and rather bland looking. Harry remembered that he saw something like this before... It resembled Dumbledore's pensieve.

He pulled the large stone basin from the closet and looked down into it. It had the sinewy gray liquid in it just as Dumbledore's did. Harry grabbed his wand from atop the dresser and took a deep breath before diving into the liquid. Just as before, Harry felt a falling sensation and then an abrupt stop.

"You shouldn't torture him like that..." Came a voice sounding like Professor Lupin's from around a corner.

"You heard what he called her, he deserved far more than just being suspended by his trousers, Moony." Another voice rung out, but Harry couldn't place it. He looked around the corner and saw it was a young looking Sirius, an even younger looking Lupin, a young Peter Pettigrew and a young James Potter.

"I know, I know." Lupin shook his head.

"He's a toerag, Moony." Sirius rolled his eyes and sighed.

"He's worse than that..." Peter pipped up.

"Exactly. I'm done talking about this." James turned from the other three and walked down the corridor in Harry's direction, though he wasn't looking at Harry at all.

Peter followed closely behind James as he shuffled along. Harry saw as Sirius threw his arm over Lupin's shoulder and they walked together down the corridor after Peter and James. Harry followed the split pack to wherever they were going. It was starting to get dark and the sun was setting quickly.

Harry followed the group up into their dorm room before the memory broke away and fell into a new one. This new memory was just of Sirius and Lupin. They were sitting together in the library, which as Harry understood was a rare occurrence since Sirius normally hated the library, and Lupin was reading something while Sirius stared blankly at the parchment in front of him.

"Moony..." Sirius sighed.

"Padfoot..." Lupin mimicked Sirius' tone as he looked up from the book.

"I'm so bored." Sirius put his head down on the desk in front of him and sighed once more.

"You didn't have to come to the library. I didn't make you..." Lupin shrugged and went back to his book.

"Oh yes I did." Sirius sat back up and smiled at the other boy. "It's pretty much the only time we can get alone. Plus, this place is so huge that we won't be bothered."

"Padfoot, not here." Lupin bit his lip and looked around the library. Sirius was right, there was no one here.

Harry gasped slightly as he watched Sirius kiss Lupin on the lips. His eyes widened when he realized that Lupin was kissing back. Was this for real? He knew that Sirius was never married and rarely was in a serious relationship, he heard that from Sirius himself. Were he and Lupin... Involved? Well, they looked a tad more than involved now, but still.

"Even though you say not here, you didn't try and stop me." Sirius waggled his eye brows and went in for another kiss, which Lupin had much obliged to.

How had Harry not known? Sirius told him everything... Why not this? Was it because Sirius was afraid that Harry wouldn't accept him? To be honest, Harry really didn't know what to think. He loved Sirius, and he liked Lupin a lot too, but having it like this made it complicated. Sirius was dead, and Lupin was with Tonks now. What had happened between them? Harry would probably never find out.

The memory faded and Harry felt himself fall into a third memory. This one was different than the others... There was no real light to see anything, and the room smelled musty. He heard water drip and hit stone in the distance and out of the corner of his eye, he saw a thin and pale figure move.

Harry turned with his wand drawn towards where he had seen the movement. He looked around, it was too dark to really see anything and Harry had bad vision so as it is. A sliver of light came through the sliver of a window. It barely let in a three inch wide by twelve inches long line of moonlight.

"He's at Hogwarts..." Harry heard a voice from the shadows of the corner. It was Sirius, and Harry realized that he was in Azkaban prison, and it was the night of Sirius' escape. "...He's at Hogwarts and soon enough I will be as well." Sirius cackled quietly.

There was a whooshing noise and then the sound of padded feet moving around on the stone floor. There was a slight yelp then a sound of skidding and dog nails scraping against the filthy floor echoed through the room and hallway outside. Then there was nothing. There was nothing.

The final memory came up quickly. The room was dark just as in the last memory, but the air seemed of better quality and didn't stink of fear and death.

"I love you." Moaned a voice from the darkness. "I love you so much."  
"I love you too." Came a response.

Harry moved forward to have a better view of what was going on. It sounded like his Godfather and one of of his ex-professors from Hogwarts talking, but he wasn't sure. When he moved into the moonlight streaming through the window he saw the figures on the bed. It was, in fact, Lupin and Sirius.

"Oh god..." Harry whispered. He was in shock.

Why hadn't Sirius told him? Why hadn't Lupin? Sirius loved him, didn't he? And Lupin was with Tonks now, so perhaps he didn't love him after all... This was all so confusing. Harry had thought that it was just a little thing back when Sirius and Lupin were in Hogwarts, but apparently not.

Why had they lied? Harry would have accepted it. Wouldn't he? Of course he would have. Sirius accepted everyone that was okay, and just because he was gay didn't make him not okay. Didn't they want others to know, like Tonks? Does she know? She must know. Now that Harry knew that his Godfather and ex-professor were involved it was very obvious and Tonks wasn't stupid enough to not notice things. Perhaps she was ignoring it, and so was Lupin. Harry felt guilt, anger, and sadness for everything. He felt guilty about knowing and not having been told by those involved, anger for not being told in the first place, and sadness not only for Tonks but for Lupin and Sirius. They loved each other, or so he guessed, and they were torn apart by this war not only once but twice.

Harry closed his eyes and once again he felt the familiar pulling and falling feeling in his chest and stomach and he was standing back in Sirius' room. This is where the last memory was. That's why it looks so lived in. It was more than just lived in, it was loved in.

"Harry?" Called Hermione from down the hallway.

"Yeah?" Harry called back as he poked his head out of the doorway. "I'm just in here."  
"Did you find anything?" Ron asked as he looked around on the walls of the old house.

Harry looked back at the pensieve on the floor. Did he really want to tell them? Was it their business? Did they already know? God dammit, this was so complicated.

"No, no. Just some of Sirius' old stuff." Harry tried to look as sad as possible, and it was working.

"Oh, Harry." Hermione pulled him in for a hug and held him for a while.

"Let's go downstairs, yeah?" Ron suggested as he passed the pair in the hallway.

"Yeah, let's go." Harry nodded and shut the bedroom door.

_**Author's Note:**_

_** I'm so so so sorry for how long it's been since I've updated... The site was giving me issues and I couldn't do much of anything and I'm really really sorry. I tried emailing them and all that whatnot, but nothing worked. Either way I hope you've liked this chapter and don't hate me for not updating.**_

_**-A.**_


	22. All's Fair in Love and War

_**Warning- The following story may or may not contain explicit slash between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Consider yourself warned...**_

_**Disclaimer- None of the characters you are about to read of belong to me. I am only using them for my sick and twisted enjoyment... And yours. Pervert.**_

"_All's Fair in Love and War"_

_-Frank Farleigh  
_

The war was escalating far faster than anyone could have assumed... People were dying left and right. They weren't just Order of the Phoenix members either, they were regular wizards and innocent muggles. It didn't surprise anyone, but things were going farther and faster than they would have hoped for.

"It's war." Madeye nodded. "It's already as bad as the last time he was in power."  
"What was it like?" Hermione asked.

"The Ministry was a sham, just like now, but the killings weren't quiet like they are now. They were out in the open and very public. The Prophet was completely taken over, as well as most of the other news papers. At least we have the Quibbler now, or did anyway." Madeye took a swig of whatever he had in his hip flask and looked around at the faces looking back at him. "It's why I'm so careful. I don't know who's on what side and if they used to be or if they will be later. It's awful, and until he's dead nothing can ever be the same."

"That's awful..." Molly said from the sink as she washed the dishes and looked out of the window to where the wedding would be held soon. "I was younger when the first war was going on."

Harry looked around at the people at the table. He thought about them all being dead. Because of Voldemort. Because of Harry. Because of this whole war. No one could win, and there was no way out. Either way, people would die and pandemonium would break out.

Ron continued to pick at what food he had in front of him, which wasn't that much. He wasn't really hungry... Harry looked at him. He couldn't ever imagine losing Ron. Ron was his best mate, and having him die would be awful. How did Lupin do it? Twice at that. Sure, Sirius wasn't dead when he was in Azkaban, but he was just as good as dead. Now he is gone, and Lupin is with Tonks. He so wanted to ask about it, but he knew that it would be improper and outright embarrassing...

What about Hermione? If Harry were to lose her, then he would be really screwed. Hermione found out so much for Ron and Harry that both of them would be dead if it weren't for her. The first time that she saved them was in their first year when they fell through the door an onto that plant thing. If Harry hadn't relaxed and Hermione hadn't shot the ray of sunlight at where Ron was trapped both of them would be dead and that would have been the end of it.

Harry looked at Tonks next. Did she know? This question was forever lodged in Harry's mind. No matter where or when, he would think about if she knew, or if anyone knew except he and Lupin. Did they have sex? There was no doubt that Lupin was gay, and the more time Harry had to think about it all the more accepting he was about it all. He loved Sirius, and if Sirius loved Lupin then Harry would be okay with him too. Besides, Harry was already friends with the ex-professor.

"Harry?" Ron asked as he waved his hand in front of Harry's face.

"Yeah?" Harry snapped out of his daze and looked at Ron.

"You were mumbling something..." Ron raised a brow at Harry concernedly.

"Oh, what was I mumbling?" Harry hoped to Merlin it wasn't about Remus being gay.

"Something about missing someone or seeing someone." Ron leaned forward and looked at Harry more closely. "You look exhausted, mate. You should go to bed."  
"Yes Harry. Tomorrow is a big day, you should rest." Lupin nodded.

"What's tomorrow?" Harry asked as he stood.

"Tomorrow is a new day, and seeing where things are going these upcoming days will all be big." He nodded at Harry and took Tonks' hand in his.

"Okay." Harry nodded and turned to walk out. "Goodnight."  
"Goodnight." Everyone said back as Harry left. He heard the scuffling of chairs and the movements of parchment as he left and lastly there was the sound of the opening and closing door. It seems as though there was going to be a meeting tonight.

Harry walked into Ron's bedroom and collapsed on the bottom bunk of the bed. Ron normally slept there but he didn't care. He was so tired... He was so so so tired that he couldn't even keep his eyes open and fell asleep immediately.

Though he was asleep, he wasn't really getting much. His night was wracked with nightmares and cold sweats. He woke up several times gasping for air and covered in a thin sheet of sweat. The room was dark the first few times he woke, but after three times of waking up he finally saw that the sun was rising in the distance. Little light cast though the windows and barely stretched across the floor... It was early, perhaps four maybe a bit earlier.

"Harry?" Ron asked from the top bunk.

"Yeah?" Harry responded. He wasn't about to go back to sleep, it was no use.

"I heard you waking up a lot last night..." Ron commented blandly.  
"Yeah, I was having nightmares." Harry rolled onto his side and watched the sun rise.

"It's not fair that he can do this to you, you need to learn to protect yourself against it." Ron sighed.

"I know. I've been working on it, but since Snape was useless and Dumbledore is gone I don't think I'll be learning any time soon." Harry sighed as well.

"Does anyone in the order know how do that legilimens or occlumens things?" Ron asked. The top bunk of the bed creaked as his weight shifted.

"I don't know... I haven't asked and I don't really want to." Harry rolled onto his back and stared at the bottom of the top bunk.

"I don't know either mate, I don't know either." Ron sighed loudly.

Soon after there was the soft sound of snoring coming from the top bunk and Ron was asleep. Harry lay awake on the bottom bunk. He couldn't sleep. He hated the nightmares... They ranged from the death of his parents, to Sirius' death and lastly the death of Dumbledore. It was horrifying, but he knew that he would have to deal with it. There was no escaping this, he would have to face Lord Voldemort soon, and getting prepared for what he could throw out would help him at least a little.

_**Author's Note:**_

_** This is the third update of the night, so don't think that it's just a single chapter that I've put in! Make sure to read 'If I Could Get To Sleep' and the story after that as well, or else you've completely missed two chapters.  
**_

_**-A.**_


	23. And There's A Lake,

_**Warning- The following story may or may not contain explicit slash between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Consider yourself warned...**_

_**Disclaimer- None of the characters you are about to read of belong to me. I am only using them for my sick and twisted enjoyment... And yours. Pervert.**_

"_And there's a lake,  
And at the bottom you'll find all my friends.  
They don't swim cause they're all dead.  
We never are what we intend, or invent."_

_Taken from the song 'At The Bottom' by Brand New._

Remus was finally facing him... The monstrosity that made him what he was every month. Fenrir smirked darkly at Remus as he sauntered more and more closely. His lips curled up into a sick snarl. He had been a werewolf for so long that some of his features were permanently beast-like.

"Well, well, Remus..." Fenrir laughed at the man. "I remember you quite well. I bit you when you were just a boy, when you were out in the woods when you shouldn't have been."  
Remus was stoic. His face was solid and emotionless stone. His wand was pointed at Fenrir. If the man made a single wrong move Remus would kill him and regret nothing of it. He hated the man, not only for what he did to Remus but for what he has done to other children everywhere. At one point he actually pitied Fenrir, thinking that being a werewolf was uncontrollable, until he found that he was changed on purpose.

"I heard you have a little boy now... Mmm. You know how I love children, Remus. I'm just the big, bad, wolf. Though, I never knew you and your fuck-buddy Black could have children." Fenrir' eyes widened as he saw Remus react. "Though the timing doesn't make sense, and the child doesn't even look like Black."  
"You leave them out of this, Greyback." Remus glared at the man before him. Oh, how he wanted to just cast a single spell and have this all be done with.

"In fact, he looks more like Black's cousin... Nympho or whatever her name is." Fenrir was torturing Remus, and he knew that it was slowly but surely getting to him.

"Shut up." Remus aimed and prepared to fire.

But he didn't. It's not that he didn't want to, but he couldn't. Fenrir was already dead by the time Remus was prepared to kill. Someone had thrown a crystal ball [probably Trelawny] and it hit the beast in the head and killed him. Perhaps silver wasn't the only thing that killed werewolves...

Remus ran down the hallway, and someone stopped him. He was pulled aside quickly. He could barely hear what the person was saying. All he heard was that many of the Death Eaters had fallen and all Voldemort had left was Bellatrix and himself.

"So all the others are dead?" Remus asked the mystery person.

"Yes, I'm positive." Said the person before disappearing into some other area of the castle.

Voldemort was done, finished. All of his followers were dead except for Bellatrix, and she wouldn't be that hard to pick off with the right curses and if enough people fired at her. Even Peter was dead and Peter's blood was what coursed through Voldemort's veins at this very moment.

Remus ran through the castle looking for other Death Eaters or anyone really. It was eerily empty at some parts of the castle. He stopped... He couldn't breath. It felt like his lungs were on fire. He took this time to think... He never thought that he would be the last to die. He always assumed James would go last considering he had a family and was under such protection. The order of their death's that Remus always assumed was Sirius being first, then Remus, then Peter and lastly James. This order was completely wrong... James died first, then Sirius, now Peter and Remus would be soon to go as well.

It was an awful thought, thinking of dying, but he knew that it would prepare him when it would happen. If he didn't die for this, then his son would grow up in awful oppression and in a never ending war. It had to be done. It had to be. Some would have to die for the greater good, and the freedom of the rest of both the Magical and Muggle world. No one was safe until Voldemort was dead and gone.

Remus began to walk around again... He turned a corner and saw a Death Eater that he almost recognized, but he couldn't place the face. He looked vaguely like someone he knew, but he wasn't sure. He spent too much time thinking about it, and the person saw him.

"Avada Kedavra!" Was the last thing that Remus heard, and the flash of green light was the last thing that Remus saw. Then he was dead.

It was done. All the Marauders were dead. James, the fun loving but still careful one went first. Then Sirius, the one who always lived on the edge and dangerously was second. Third to go was Peter, who was assumed to be quiet and conservative had actually turned on his friends and ended up being betrayed by the hand his master had given him anyway. Lastly there was Remus. He was the strongest of the group. He took all of their deaths and moved on afterward, even after his lover's incarceration then death. He was the strong weak one.

Remus felt a sudden shock as the spell hit him, it was like a burning sensation really. It hit him directly in the chest and he felt the floor on his back and that was it. He remembered waking up and looking around. The air didn't reek of smoke and death. It smelt of firewhiskey, pine needles and stale smoke... It smelt of Sirius.

_**Author's Note:**_

_** Fourth update tonight, people. So be ready to read not only this chapter but the three others before it so you don't miss stuff. This will probably be my last update of the night so I don't confuse everyone with chapters and whatnot.**_


	24. Well, Jesus Christ I'm Not Scared To Die

_**Warning- The following story may or may not contain explicit slash between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Consider yourself warned...**_

_**Disclaimer- None of the characters you are about to read of belong to me. I am only using them for my sick and twisted enjoyment... And yours. Pervert.**_

"_Well, Jesus Christ I'm not scared to die.  
I'm a little bit scared of what comes after.  
Do I get the gold chariot?  
Do I float through the ceiling?  
Do I divide and fall apart?  
Cause my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark.  
This ship went down in sight of land.  
And at the gates does Thomas ask to see my hands?"_

_Taken from the song 'Jesus Christ' by Brand New._

Remus woke on his back. He was staring straight up into the sky... But it wasn't really the sky. It was just emptiness. He didn't feel tired, or achy or anything anymore really. It was all just blank. He was blank and wherever he was was blank as well. Remus sat up slowly and looked around. He was sitting on a marble floor, and as he looked around he saw that there was a ceiling, it was just perfectly white. There were walls also, and they were just as white as the rest of the room. It wasn't really a room though...

"Hello?" Remus called out. Was he dead?

"Hello Remus." Came a voice from behind him. It was monotone, and didn't sound like a man's voice nor a woman's voice. Remus turned to face where the voice was coming from, but saw nothing.

"Hello?" Remus was afraid now. "Where are you? Where is this?"

"I am God, Remus. And this is Heaven." The voice, presumably God, had said.

"I'm... I'm..." Remus stuttered.  
"Dead, yes." The voice said once more. "And now you are in Heaven."  
"I... I..." Remus had no idea what to say. He was so confused. All he could remember was getting hit with a curse and waking up here. "I'm dead? And I'm not in Hell?"  
"No, no. I would never send you to Hell, Remus. You were a great man, and still are. People such as yourself end up here. Those who die valiantly for things that you did will always have their place in Heaven. Although, your Heaven and the Heaven of others may differ." God said as Remus walked around the room.  
As Remus explored further he found that it wasn't just a room, that there were hallways and other passages attached to this room. Remus walked down a long corridor and found himself getting lost in the completely white place. He wished that there was some color, and not just the bland white walls and floor.

"So, when you say that my idea of Heaven may differ from others, what do you mean?" Remus asked as he walked down the hall.

"Exactly that. Your Heaven is yours, though others may have a part in your Heaven. Such as a lost love, a family member, or even a pet if you so wish." God said.

Remus stopped dead. Lost love? He would be able to see Sirius? He had missed Sirius since the second he was gone, and now that he had the chance to be reunited, he didn't know what to think. How would Sirius look? Would he look younger, older, thinner? Merlin how he wished to know.

"How soon can I get to my Heaven?" Remus asked as he looked down a hallway with what looked like a door at the end of it.

"Any time that you like, Remus." God had side finally.

Remus walked down the corridor, and soon began to run towards it. He got nearer to the door and felt himself pick up speed. He threw open the door and ran through it and looked around. The white walls were gone, as was the white floor and white ceiling. The area around him was vast... It looked like Diagon Alley, but larger and far emptier.

"Remus..." Came another voice. This one was distinctly manly, and Remus even recognized it.

"Sirius." Remus looked at the other man and the pair ran at each other to embrace.

Sirius grabbed Remus' face and kissed him harshly as Remus' arms entwined in Sirius' hair. They were kissing and touching as fiercely as they could. Sirius felt Remus pull away, then felt the other man's fist connect with his jaw, and lastly felt the hard ground scrape his back as he hit the ground.

"Wha..." Sirius grabbed his face, which he was sure would bruise [could that even happen in Heaven?] and looked up at Remus.

"You promised me that you would never leave again." Remus looked like he was about to cry. "And if you even think of doing it again, you'll get much worse than a punch in the face." Remus laughed slightly and helped Sirius to his feet.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Sirius pulled Remus into his arms as soon as he stood. "I never meant to leave, I never meant to hurt you."  
"Shh..." Remus calmed Sirius. "I've missed you so much, and I couldn't stand being alone..."

"It's okay, it's okay." Sirius looked into Remus' eyes and smiled. "Besides, I like Nymphadora. She was a good match for you. I'm glad you found someone else, I love you so much."

"I love you too." Remus kissed Sirius.

"We have to leave." Sirius looked at Remus. "Harry is going to face Voldemort, and we need to be there for him. Lily and James will be there as well." Remus nodded.

The four of them stood in the forest and waited for Harry. Remus next to Sirius next to James next to Lily. They heard Harry before they saw him. His face had aged over the course of that single day... He had seen many dead, and even more dying. Harry stopped in front of them and looked over their smiling faces with his own blood stained one.

"We're here for you." Lily said.

"Will you stay with me?" Harry asked as he looked from Remus to Lily.

"Until the very end, Harry." Sirius nodded reassuringly.

Harry took a deep breath and headed into the forest where he was sure to die. At least he wouldn't be alone, and he wouldn't be as terrified. Though he was scared, he was thankful that people he loved would be with him... He would die in the company of the best.

"The boy who lived..." Voldemort smirked darkly. "Come to die."  
Harry didn't respond. He just looked dead ahead into the man's cold and dark eyes. They had lost their life and shine at a young age, and since then they had become even bleaker.

"Avada Kedavera." And it was all over. Harry was dead and Voldemort had won.

Harry woke and, unlike in Remus' first experience, he was in the train station to Hogwarts. The train was there and seemed to be getting ready to shove off, but the entire station was empty. There wasn't a soul in sight. As Harry looked around he finally did see someone. It was Dumbledore, and he was sitting on a bench by himself.

"Harry." Dumbledore smiled warmly. "Come here, my boy." Dumbledore beckoned Harry and patted the seat next to him as if to usher him to sit.

Harry sat next to Dumbledore and looked around some more. Dumbledore just looked down the station towards the very end. He wasn't just looking at things, he was looking at something specific. Harry looked where Dumbledore was and saw a small baby. It was fidgeting and crying.

The baby's cries were quiet but very shrill none the less. The baby looked shriveled and smaller than most babies, and very sickly as well. The skin of the child was very pale and thin looking. It looked unhealthy and very very malnourished.

"What is that?" Harry asked as he squinted to get a better look.

"_Who_ is that, you mean." Dumbledore corrected him. "It's Voldemort."

"Really?" Harry was surprised.

"It's a part of him, rather. That is his innocence, his weakness, and his fear. All of those things have formed that, the child. Though it's not really a child, it's more like a monster. It is what Voldemort is, was, and always will be without love." Dumbledore explained. "Without love he could not prosper, and so his fear, and hatred had grown."  
"He was an orphan, like me." Harry didn't know what to think. He could have ended up like Voldemort.

Harry and Dumbledore had talked for a long while, and soon Harry had to go back to earth where he was needed most. He wondered what the reaction of the others would be... He knew that once he was back on earth things would be difficult and very complicated, but they would have to be done. Even if that meant dying again, and the next time would be permanent.

Harry woke on the floor with a crowd around him. He heard screaming, and saw people running. It was absolute pandemonium in the Great Hall at Hogwarts. Harry saw lights flashing and heard things crashing around the room. Within the complete chaos Harry stood and ran towards the wall where many of the others were standing in fear. He tried to be inconspicuous, and it was going well. He wasn't looking at anyone, and no one was looking at him. People were looking for their friends and loved ones rather than Harry Potter, who was assumed to be dead.

Harry heard people screaming more, and saw people scatter, and even saw more dead bodies covering the floor. Someone, finally, had seen him and started screaming that he was alive. This wasn't his ideal way of coming back to life, but it would work.  
"I killed you!" Voldemort screamed. Harry just scowled.

Looking at the ground he saw many faces that he recognized... His friends, his fellow students, and many families of those friends and fellow students. It was as if it were all a bad nightmare, but worse. Much, much worse.

"Stay away from my daughter, bitch!" Harry heard someone scream. As soon as Harry looked over he saw Bellatrix's body laying on the ground. Her black hair sprawled about and her face flat to the ground. She was dead.

Voldemort had lost his main supporter... He had lost Snape, Pettigrew, and now Bellatrix. Even Draco had subtly changed sides. Things were done, and everyone knew it.

_**Author's Note:**_

_**Well, I'm back after my extended break. I suppose I should bring you all up to speed? I went to prom [which was a clusterfuck of failure], and then I had a fight with my dad and went to stay at my mom's for awhile [which was an even more massive clusterfuck of failure]. Either way, the past few weeks of my life haven't been to fantastic. Now that I have you all good and depressed I suppose I should talk about the story then, yeah? **_

_**This is one of the last chapters. There should only be one or two more chapters after this, and then it's all done and over. I plan on writing more fanfictions, possibly slash fictions, but not necessarily popular pairings. I've been thinking of making a Gellert/Albus one [back when they were young and not dead] or possibly a Fred/George if it doesn't freak me out too badly. Also, if I do make either of those two they'll end up being short little one or two chapter 'fics, so don't expect another full out story with an actual plot or anything.**_

_**-A.**_


	25. Cause I've Seen Blue Skies,

_**Warning- The following story may or may not contain explicit slash between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Consider yourself warned...**_

_**Disclaimer- None of the characters you are about to read of belong to me. I am only using them for my sick and twisted enjoyment... And yours. Pervert.**_

"_'Cause I've seen blue skies,  
Through the tears in my eyes.  
And I realize I'm going home..."_

_Taken from the song 'I'm Going Home' as sung by Tim Curry playing Dr. Frank-N-Furter in the _

_Rocky Horror Picture Show._

It had been years since her death. The children had grown up and moved on far more quickly than Harry had after Ginny's death. Though it was their mother they could handle it. She was sick and getting worse and they were prepared for it to happen. Everyone dies eventually, right? Harry wasn't ready, and he definitely wasn't over it yet.

Harry, himself, has been sick recently as well. He had the same symptoms as his dead wife, but he told no one. His children were off doing things with their own families and with their own lives, and Harry didn't want to stop their lives because his was ending. His life had already stopped because of his wife's death and he didn't want that happening to his children.

Harry was rather old. He was close to one hundred years old and not getting any younger. His life was long and well lead. When Ginny died it was all over the news papers, and when Harry goes the news will be spread much farther. He was the Boy Who Lived and was supposed to carry on forever, but apparently forever was shorter than previously assumed.

He wasn't sure if he was ready to go and die yet or not. The more Harry thought about it the less awful it sounded. He didn't really have anything to take care of. His bills were paid, he wasn't waiting trial for a sentence in any prison, he wasn't really anything out of the ordinary for an old person.

Harry went to bed in his old house and felt himself drift off into the abyss of sleep. Just as it had happened many many years ago he awoke in a place he wasn't sure of. And when he sat up he realized the room around him was white and completely seam-free. He was just in a white room with nothing but whiteness and cleanness surrounding him.

"I've finally died..." Harry said surprised.

"Well yes, you were pushing one hundred, Harry." Said a voice.

"That I was." Harry replied coolly, not very concerned with who the voice belonged to. "So where is this?"  
"This is Heaven." The voice said.

"This? Just this?" Harry looked around the bland room. It wasn't what he was expecting what so ever.

"No, this is just the room everyone comes in after they die and go to Heaven. It's like a transition, rather than anything." The voice said.

"I see." Harry looked around more.

He walked along the walls and discovered pathways and hallways that stretched out far beyond the room. He found secret hallways with boarded up doors and holes in the ceiling leading to other areas that Harry could not get to. Finally he found a hallway with a door at the end of it. He smiled. This was it. This was Heaven.

Harry walked towards it slowly. He wanted to take his time and make sure that he was prepared to go through and see everyone. He was going to see his mother, his father, Sirius, Remus, Ginny, and all the others who died during his life.

He slowly opened the door and walked out. It was warm and sunny and everyone he had missed was around as he came out of the door. Remus next to Sirius next to James next to Lily and lastly there was Ginny. Harry wasn't sure who to approach first.

"Hello..." Harry said bewilderingly.

"Welcome to Heaven, Harry." Harry's mother, Lily, walked up to Harry and pulled him into a hug.

"You're looking good, Harry." Sirius smiled and pulled Harry into a hug. After the embrace Harry looked down at himself and realized that he wasn't nearly a century old, but rater fairly young. It seemed that everyone around here was younger than at the age they died... Ginny looked about the age that Harry was now.

"Hogwarts was my first real home, then with Ginny, and now here." Harry smiled at everyone around him. "I'm home. I'm finally home."

_Fin~_

_**Author's Note:**_

_** That's it. That's the end. I'm so so so sorry it's so cheesy, but I wanted it to be cute and final, so it's what happened.**_

_** Thank you all who took the time to read this and not hate every single thing. I'm so happy that I could make something that others could enjoy, and I hope you all liked this fanfiction. Each and every review [negative or not] had made me smile and I'm happy for each and every one. Thank you so much I am greatly appreciative of all the support I've gotten.**_

_**-A.**_


	26. Epilogue

_**Warning- The following story may or may not contain explicit slash between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Consider yourself warned...**_

_**Disclaimer- None of the characters you are about to read of belong to me. I am only using them for my sick and twisted enjoyment... And yours. Pervert.**_

_Epilogue_

"Why isn't Tonks here?" Harry asked Remus as they sat and talked over tea.

"Her Heaven is different than mine, I suppose." Remus shrugged. "It's odd since we were married."  
"Not really..." Harry smiled. "You were married, but not really in love."  
"I..." Remus stumbled over his words with unsureness.

"I understand." Was all Harry said before smiling. "I also must go. Ginny and I are having dinner soon. Have a good night, Remus. Also, tell Sirius that I said hello, would you?" Harry said as he left the house.

Remus just sat at the table thinking about what Harry had said. Harry had known and didn't say a thing. How did he know? Was it really obvious? Now that everyone had died it was a bit odd that Nymphadora wasn't here with him. It was, but not necessarely bad.

"Remus?" Sirius said as he came down the stairs from the bedroom.  
"Sirius?" Remus called back.

"Who was here?" Sirius said as he stood at the landing of the stairs looking at Remus.

"Harry. He says hello." Remus nodded.

"I heard you two talking..." Sirius raised a brow. "What about?"  
"He knows, and has for a while apparently." Remus smiled at Sirius from across the room.

"Hmm..." Sirius hummed as he walked over to where Remus sat and leaned in for a small kiss. "I'm glad he knows. I'm even more glad we don't have to tell him... Having him walk in on us would be far more awkward if he didn't know."  
"This is true." Remus kissed back and stood, without losing the kiss, and pushed Sirius so he was walking backwards. The pair was heading the same way that Sirius had come from...

They kissed all the way up the stairs and to their bedroom. Sirius fell onto the bed first with Remus on top of him. Sirius pushed Remus off of him onto undress himself while Remus also undressed. Remus

Sirius pushed Remus flat on his back on the bed and kissed the man's neck slowly. Remus' hands wrapped around Sirius' neck and pulled their bodies together. Sirius gasped in Remus' ear and slowly pushed himself inside of Remus.

"I love you..." Sirius muttered as he felt himself be completely engulfed by Remus.

"I love you too." Remus responded breathlessly.

They collapsed together about half an hour later. Both were covered in a thin layer of sweat and were breathing heavily. Sirius looked at Remus and smiled.

"What is it?" Remus smiled back.

"Nothing. I just..." Sirius began to smile more widely. "I just love you."  
"I love you too." Remus smiled and kissed Sirius.


	27. Chapter 27

_Grand Finale_

It's weird to think about it all being over... I first published the story something like 5 months ago. That's almost half of a year I've been writing it. It's crazy to just stop doing so. I can't imagine what it's like to be a legitimate author and finish a story of an entire series like this. It's so final. It's so weird...

Anyway, let's move on.

I really ship Sirius and Remus. They are my OTP forever. I have way too many reasons to think so also. Either way it really makes sense that they could be canon. I could talk about it forever. So I will.

-Sirius was never really in a relationship and neither was Remus.

-Remus only ever got serious with Tonks after Sirius' death.

-The incident in their fifth year was forgiven rather quickly...

-Sirius had said, in the 3rd book, 'he's at Hogwarts' possibly meaning Remus.

-Remus only got with Tonks because she could change her features. She could make her hair darker and longer, and also make her cheekbones higher and have gray eyes.

-Sirius and Remus appeared together [along with James and Lily] when Harry was going to meet Voldemort. It could have been anybody else, like Dumbledore or Cedric or Fred or anyone. Remus was influential, but so were the others.

-There are so many reasons, but each has specific details and I don't want to go into every-fucking-thing.

So, thank you all for reading my story. I'm so glad that others liked it [though now that I go through it I actually thought it was quite dumb and ill written.] and an especial thanks to those who reviewed so graciously.

In the [near] future I plan on having a Gellert/Albus fic as well as another Sirius/Remus fic and possibly another Draco/Harry fic. Though I really don't ship Harry and Draco. They hate each other and I see nothing more. It's Sirius and Remus that I can't help but love.

Thank you all, even those who didn't review and/or didn't like it, I'm grateful that people actually read it.

-A.


End file.
